Highest Average Goal Quality

cantersaddick

FishCostaFortune said:

Simon Church as lowest?

I reckon Bonne as a striker. Pearce potentially overall?

Leuth

Can't be bothered to show all of JBG's but it goes 9, 2, 5, 10, 9, 9, 9, 10, 10, at which point I'm like oh shit. Oh god. Then it goes 3, 6, 5, 5, 6 and we're safe again. Then it ends 10, 3, 4 and we go down and he fucks off to Burnley. Overall? 115/170, leaving him outside of leaderboard contention with a 6.8/10. A whole load of bangers and yet he still can't make it. Getting on this leaderboard is hard. 

Leuth

Church did score a true 0/10 with his handball against Wednesday in the Cup, he's definitely a contender for worst 

FishCostaFortune

Ajdarevic and Reza 😍 both scored screamers. Not sure about there other ones though. 

Leuth

Ajdarevic scored one absolute screamer and one open-goal scramble that hits a defender just behind the line. Sorry Astrit. 

Leuth

Reza's goal against Leeds was a banger. His other four...were not. Although, now I have to see what Lookman's were all like, cos his goal against Brighton was an easy 8 or 9

Garrymanilow

I remember Spongelord putting together a good chest and finish against Blackburn which might scupper things. I seem to remember Mark Fish scoring some notably rubbish goals 

Leuth

Lookman's debut season features quite a lot of scrappy or functional finishes, he is discounted. 

Looking for Worst might be the play now yes 

Garrymanilow

I hate myself for this but it might be Powelly? Opportunistic header against Spurs, maybe the worst goal ever in a different Spurs game where he scored with both knees while falling over and then an ok slightly scuffed finish against Coventry offset by being the most perfect send off for him 

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

I remember Spongelord putting together a good chest and finish against Blackburn which might scupper things. I seem to remember Mark Fish scoring some notably rubbish goals 

Mark Fish's first goal for us involves him strolling into the box in open play, Naby style, and smashing it straight through Fabien Barthez, at Old Trafford, against Ferguson's United. I'm afraid you've fucked this, cos that's at least an 8 for me.

His other goal against Bolton is terrible tbf but the damage has been done 

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

I hate myself for this but it might be Powelly? Opportunistic header against Spurs, maybe the worst goal ever in a different Spurs game where he scored with both knees while falling over and then an ok slightly scuffed finish against Coventry offset by being the most perfect send off for him 

I did think him, if that's 3, 1, 4 then 8/30 does give a 2.7 which is pretty hard to beat

Scoham

TC doesn’t score many wonder goals, but he also rarely scores tap ins. Probably a lot of 7/10 goals, mainly good finishes from the left on his right foot.

Leuth

Scoham said:

TC doesn’t score many wonder goals, but he also rarely scores tap ins. Probably a lot of 7/10 goals, mainly good finishes from the left on his right foot.

I'd give most of those at least 8 tbf. Derby at home last season might even be a 9. He has had a few scrappy ones I think mind

cafcsinger

Therry Racon? Danny Green?

Leuth

Therry Racon has scored a true 0/10, in that Jackson's free kick deflected off him and went in but is still officially Jackson's goal. Atrocious stuff 

I reckon Danny Green has some trash in there too. Didn't he score a last minute winner with basically a cross against Yeovil? 

cafcsinger

Leuth said:

Therry Racon has scored a true 0/10, in that Jackson's free kick deflected off him and went in but is still officially Jackson's goal. Atrocious stuff 

I reckon Danny Green has some trash in there too. Didn't he score a last minute winner with basically a cross against Yeovil? 

201/12 Yeovil Town v Charlton Athletic (Highlights) 

Not sure its a cross. Maybe

Leuth

cafcsinger said:

Leuth said:

Therry Racon has scored a true 0/10, in that Jackson's free kick deflected off him and went in but is still officially Jackson's goal. Atrocious stuff 

I reckon Danny Green has some trash in there too. Didn't he score a last minute winner with basically a cross against Yeovil? 

201/12 Yeovil Town v Charlton Athletic (Highlights) 

Not sure its a cross. Maybe

Absolute fucking banger fk from Yann in there. I'm gonna have to do this later aren't I

sam3110

Leuth said:

cafcsinger said:

Leuth said:

Therry Racon has scored a true 0/10, in that Jackson's free kick deflected off him and went in but is still officially Jackson's goal. Atrocious stuff 

I reckon Danny Green has some trash in there too. Didn't he score a last minute winner with basically a cross against Yeovil? 

201/12 Yeovil Town v Charlton Athletic (Highlights) 

Not sure its a cross. Maybe

Absolute fucking banger fk from Yann in there. I'm gonna have to do this later aren't I

Most of his goals, especially the first season, are just headers or smashing in a rebound

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v5BTN4KMF6Y

The first one I looked for is a stone cold 10/10. 

This is gonna be the big one, isn't it

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pr72e0Dyz1Q

What the fuck. 

What the f

MrOneLung

was at that Norwich game and the coppers wouldn't let me on the terrace whilst holding a burger in case I threw it at the home fans. Pretty sure we were in a caged off area as well.

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

Therry Racon has scored a true 0/10, in that Jackson's free kick deflected off him and went in but is still officially Jackson's goal. Atrocious stuff 

I reckon Danny Green has some trash in there too. Didn't he score a last minute winner with basically a cross against Yeovil? 

Green definitely scored from an intended cross away at Exeter. He also scored one of the best goals we’ve ever scored against I think Derby, where he hit it so hard and unexpectedly that the camera didn’t even have time to pick it up. Maybe they balance out 

SELR_addicks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zlrgyr4O76g

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CdCOyVotnfE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GS1Utk5W3Oc

Two open goals and two headers. The first is a true 0/10. 

Callumcafc

xG might help with this from a quantitative point of view, just saying. :-)

Leuth

3.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_TfVe7SvrNc

Hahaha you've blown it Paul. 3/10 to follow two 10s

4.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZyEKaSA4T8

Y'know, I'm giving this 10 as well, this is the Shaun Bartlett MOTD GOTS but with a bit more swazz

5.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5tTpCrQz7eY

Tidy. 5 or 6? Let's say 6, he hits it crisply

6. 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0O8CM40pSQ

10/10. What the fuck was this man

7.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=67U8AT_WxG0

If the first shot goes in he gets an 11 for doing that at the Den. As it is, he gets 6. Tidy finish

8.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYnp39YOmCQ

Aaaaaahhhhhh 10/10 10/10 10/10 aaaaaahhhh

N/A.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRIWynuCaUs

I have watched this ten times. It is an official Paul Mortimer goal according to Transfermarkt and thus the official records. But no. I am hereby CHANGING HISTORY. This would RUIN his Bangerometer score if it was his goal. I am denying. I am Lord. I am in charge. It's a fucking own goal okay. Like, obviously. Shout if you disagree, but you can't do anything about it.

9.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MzRKggtCTBg

Alas, O alas, I cannot steal this 4/10 grubber from our Paul. Sorry. You have had one blessing already.

10.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PtSN__p3EjY

The defending is SO bad I can only give this one 9/10, but it's a very strong 9. 

11.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yok1LLizeQw

Top corner pen 6/10

12.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-iuuJ--87c

Lovely volley 8/10

13.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfzKxRIf3CY

Delicious. 9/10

14.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccmA1FZD_lg

Timestamp 8:30

Oof. I shouldn't have looked for this one. A spawny 2/10 rebound. You've ruined it Paul. Stop goalhanging

15.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pp4iG5QOsyg

Oh we're SO back. A goal so good nobody ever remembers what Steve Brown did five minutes later. Oh, they do? Wish I'd been there ffs. 10/10

16.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrBUWDf9D20

I cannot believe this man 10/10

17.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63E_7hVwhTo

This is so good but it sort of goes in the middle of the goal so a harsh 8/10

18.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pE39Q9dDqIA

Y'know this doesn't go in the top corner but it's so beautiful and he's smashed it so hard I'm giving 10/10

We now run into a problem. Transfermarkt runs out of data on Mortimer. I KNOW he's got more goals than this - at least 6 more if you trust Wikipedia. The question is, when were they, and who were they against? Thanks to the museum archive we've almost certainly got access to footage of them, but what were they?

As it stands, Mortimer is on 141/180, which is a frankly stunning 7.8/10 considering the number of goals - not quite Jensen levels, but not far off - but there's more to see. Can we find these goals???

cantersaddick

Leuth. I absolutely love you fella but has anyone ever told you that you might need to get a life... 

Leuth

Oh, it's at least 5 more given I disallowed one as an o.g.

Leuth

cantersaddick said:

Leuth. I absolutely love you fella but has anyone ever told you that you might need to get a life... 

Had a quiet couple of days and my girlfriend is at work and I've been seized with this Mission okay

Leuth

Oh apparently a) he scored '34' goals for us (33 cos of the own goal) and b) there's a video if I get a Charlton Live subscription featuring all of them ffs. Argh

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fSdXSCNNqWA

I found two more. A 4/10 and an 8/10. Up to 153/200. Hang in there Morts. Hang in there Leuth.