Highest Average Goal Quality

MrOneLung

The goal against Chelsea. 

Midweek at Selhurst 

remember getting back to the car and putting on Capital Gold and they were playing the highlights of the London teams games from that night. 

Jonathan Pearce going mental screaming ‘and Mortimer hits it with such venom’
He was so good on the radio. 

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMhYdcvnxtc

A 5/10. 158/210. I am more internet search than human now. My girlfriend will be home soon to save me 

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7Lgy41vAUA

8/10. 166/220. Calling it for the evening

Leuth

Nah let's have another

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiEij3kdTP4

6/10 172/230

Leuth

Oh shit. Oh fuck. We resume ascending Mount Mortimer with a genuine 2/10 ffs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eav_-cdfbiM

Horrible. Why, Paul. Why couldn't you have missed or something. 174/240

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0DQ4fU4kvwQ

OH WE'RE SO BACK NOW THOUGH. Question is, do I penalise it for the dribble not being perfect? I mean this is such a 10/10 without the defender getting a foot on the ball. He takes on the whole opposition and wins! Let's be blinkered and say 10, he needs it. 184/250

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZexvqtrZjw

Nice crisp hit. 7/10, 191/260

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bie-WMv6J6k

"slightly fortunate" oh dear. Still a nice enough finish. 5/10, 196/270. Think we've got about 6 to go

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmsGin5xjjg

Runs past the whole team, smashes it in the corner. Docked 1 point cos nobody even threatens to put a challenge in. 9/10, 205/280

Leuth

Oh for fuck's sake, in 1995/96 he becomes our regular penalty taker. This is horrible

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVZbhnYnctY

Low right. 5/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXf_Y8uf43A

Low right and keeper nearly saved. 4/10

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H3pwl0hMWt8

Low right. 5/10. If the last one is low right as well I'm giving it 2 btw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAjYl_yFWuU

Low LEFT. Classy. 6/10 for switching it up (keeper goes low right obv)

Damage done, though. Now 225/320

Leuth

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0SUfg8Kp8s

Oh god no. 3/10. This was all a waste. 228/330

Leuth

And suddenly it's over. 6.9/10. And what was it for? Must I now extend the leaderboard? Oh, what folly. I feel crushed.

You know what though? Let's fucking do it. Let's ride.

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
9. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

And suddenly it's over. 6.9/10. And what was it for? Must I now extend the leaderboard? Oh, what folly. I feel crushed.

You know what though? Let's fucking do it. Let's ride.

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
9. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Leuth

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

And suddenly it's over. 6.9/10. And what was it for? Must I now extend the leaderboard? Oh, what folly. I feel crushed.

You know what though? Let's fucking do it. Let's ride.

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
9. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

This is IMPORTANT

Leuth

Just as a side-note, Lewis Page isn't the one-and-done king slam-dunk you all think he is. You all seem to have forgotten this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jL2A6MD1CV4

I personally think this might be a better hit than Page's tbh

He's credited with a second goal for us, in the FA Cup against Stockport, but trust me, that one is 100% an own goal. Like, completely and utterly, no dispute. Sessegnon is in the one and done club and he might be at its very pinnacle

Leuth

In fact, I'm going to start a one and done leaderboard too

1. Steven Sessegnon
2. Lewis Page
3. Marcus Maddison
4. Morgan Fox

Feel free to add/dispute

Garrymanilow

Briefly thought I could add Miguel Llera to the mix considering he scored one of the greatest Charlton goals of all time against Swindon but he also scored the worst free kick goal in history and is credited with another one that definitely went in off Bradley Wright-Phillips

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

Briefly thought I could add Miguel Llera to the mix considering he scored one of the greatest Charlton goals of all time against Swindon but he also scored the worst free kick goal in history and is credited with another one that definitely went in off Bradley Wright-Phillips

I went through a similar thought process. The original Naby/Macca

Leuth

Look okay, this is gonna sound controversial but he wasn't called the plaffeministeren for nothing

1. Steven Sessegnon
2. Lewis Page
3. Marcus Maddison
4. Morgan Fox
5. Ronnie Schwartz

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

Look okay, this is gonna sound controversial but he wasn't called the plaffeministeren for nothing

1. Steven Sessegnon
2. Lewis Page
3. Marcus Maddison
4. Morgan Fox
5. Ronnie Schwartz

Throwing Tamer Tuna in here for his one goal against Barnet. Gets the ball off a blocked shot but cheeky little outside of the heel control to take it past the defender and steers a lovely finish into the corner

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Look okay, this is gonna sound controversial but he wasn't called the plaffeministeren for nothing

1. Steven Sessegnon
2. Lewis Page
3. Marcus Maddison
4. Morgan Fox
5. Ronnie Schwartz

Throwing Tamer Tuna in here for his one goal against Barnet. Gets the ball off a blocked shot but cheeky little outside of the heel control to take it past the defender and steers a lovely finish into the corner

It's all a bit EFL Trophy against a struggling League Two outfit tbh, but yeah, nice enough

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-YSIRPWMQU

I'll put him in there. Toby Stevenson should have been this but he stupidly went and scored 3

1. Steven Sessegnon
2. Lewis Page
3. Marcus Maddison
4. Morgan Fox
5. Ronnie Schwartz
6. Tamer Tuna

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Have you been through all Nicky Bailey's goals yet? Some bangers in there, only the 26 to go through!

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Have you been through all Nicky Bailey's goals yet? Some bangers in there, only the 26 to go through!

26 goals and like half are penalties. You're good pal

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Have you been through all Nicky Bailey's goals yet? Some bangers in there, only the 26 to go through!

26 goals and like half are penalties. You're good pal

Just the one pen remarkably (plus one missed and the one we don't talk about), and he hit it like he was trying to kill someone 5 miles behind the goal. Quite a lot of close-range headers, far post tap-ins and deflected shots though to go with the occasional rocket

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0dBUm8XlfY

Leuth

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Have you been through all Nicky Bailey's goals yet? Some bangers in there, only the 26 to go through!

26 goals and like half are penalties. You're good pal

Just the one pen remarkably (plus one missed and the one we don't talk about), and he hit it like he was trying to kill someone 5 miles behind the goal. Quite a lot of close-range headers, far post tap-ins and deflected shots though to go with the occasional rocket

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0dBUm8XlfY

I have been out-forensiced. This is what we need more of. Lame badly-remembered supposition defeated by hard evidence 

MrOneLung

Andy Peake

Garrymanilow

Leuth said:

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Garrymanilow said:

Leuth said:

Kashi's goals are 10 (50 yard lob), 8 (25 yard banger the keeper could have maybe saved), 3 (aforementioned keeper error) so I'll have to add him after all

1. Cameron Stewart 9.3
2. Sir Claus Jensen 8.6 
3. George Tucudean 8.5 
4. Dennis Rommedahl 8.3 
5. Ricky Holmes 8.1
6. Hamer Bouazza 7.8
7. Kyel Reid 7.5
8. Ahmed Kashi 7.0
9. Sir Paul Mortimer 6.9
10. Johann Berg Gudmundsson 6.8

Have you been through all Nicky Bailey's goals yet? Some bangers in there, only the 26 to go through!

26 goals and like half are penalties. You're good pal

Just the one pen remarkably (plus one missed and the one we don't talk about), and he hit it like he was trying to kill someone 5 miles behind the goal. Quite a lot of close-range headers, far post tap-ins and deflected shots though to go with the occasional rocket

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0dBUm8XlfY

I have been out-forensiced. This is what we need more of. Lame badly-remembered supposition defeated by hard evidence 

The thing is, I would have sworn he was our penalty taker as well. Looks like it was Andy Gray in 08/09 (he scored two pens and then Bailey missed one) and then the next season it was Deon Burton who scored 3 and then Nicky Forster scored one. We just didn't get that many penalties because we were god awful around then

Leuth

MrOneLung said:

Andy Peake

So far I've found a heavily deflected goal against Spurs, and a goal against Fulham in the League Cup that features maybe the worst attempt at a save I've ever seen. It's so bad I'm going to post it here. Go to 6:25 of this. Are you nominating him for Worst, maybe?

https://youtu.be/TvZUORdmJNY?is=jnW8RjgaobVTsXG1