When my mum got together when my step dad when I was about 20 they invited his adult kids round for the evening.
What was planned as a "civil nice to meet you" evening soon descended into an all night drinking session culminating in me and said step siblings staggering down to the co op at 8am the next morning to stock up on more booze and fags.
Stopped and sat for a rest on a nearby bench by the main road for a smoke and brace ourselves for the walk up the hill home to carry on drinking.
Was due to work in a pub (5 bells chelsfield if anyone cares) at midday but after a 14 hour session didn't really fancy it so called in sick saying I felt proper rough..which was probably true only a few hours early before the inevitable hangover kicked in.
Went back in for next shift a couple of days later and the guvnor had the right hump...why were you off he asked. I said stomach upset like I told you.
Why the f*** did one of my regulars see you sat on a bench swigging a can of stella at 8.30am that morning then?
I just laughed and shrugged and said I'd been thirsty and needed a sit down to get my strength back.
Never found out who the pub Bertie Smalls was but would have ensured to piss in his pint had I done so.
When we undertook operation Ewood I didnt call in sick but I was on call.
I had taken my work phone with me and apart from a cursory question or six from the security people at Gatwick as to why I had two phones (but no drugs) I was on my way. Thankfully I didnt get any call outs and went to work on Monday sulking a bit from having our relegation nigh on confirmed my boss, a Charlton fan but a lapsed one asked me how the weekend had gone, any call outs etc
Yeah magic boss, nothing doing, didnt get a call.
He said it was a good job as he had seen me drinking Stella in the pub at Gatwick and then to add to it, seen me larging it in the pub in Blackburn before the game, for good measure on the concourse at half time and finally me and one of my mates on match of the day swinging our tops over our naked torsos after one of our goals.
As he was a decent bloke after seeing me at Gatwick he had taken it upon himself to remove me from the callout list telling our superiors I had seemed a bit "fatigued" on the Friday. What a bloke and he always got favours out of me until he retired after that, including no sickies
When we undertook operation Ewood I didnt call in sick but I was on call.
I had taken my work phone with me and apart from a cursory question or six from the security people at Gatwick as to why I had two phones (but no drugs) I was on my way. Thankfully I didnt get any call outs and went to work on Monday sulking a bit from having our relegation nigh on confirmed my boss, a Charlton fan but a lapsed one asked me how the weekend had gone, any call outs etc
Yeah magic boss, nothing doing, didnt get a call.
He said it was a good job as he had seen me drinking Stella in the pub at Gatwick and then to add to it, seen me larging it in the pub in Blackburn before the game, for good measure on the concourse at half time and finally me and one of my mates on match of the day swinging our tops over our naked torsos after one of our goals.
As he was a decent bloke after seeing me at Gatwick he had taken it upon himself to remove me from the callout list telling our superiors I had seemed a bit "fatigued" on the Friday. What a bloke and he always got favours out of me until he retired after that, including no sickies
Funny you mention operation Ewood mate, I was looking at some photos on an old phone the other day and found one of you and my old man outside the pub by the ground.
Years back I once called my boss (knew he wasn't in the office that day) and said I'd been in the office bathroom all morning, being really ill, and I needed to go home. He said no worries at all. I hadn't been in to the office at all. I'd woken up at 11:30, desperately hungover, looking for an excuse for being both late and not going in.
I figured if anyone phoned him up asking "Where's Chunes? Haven't seen him today?" it just reinforced my excuse. Worked like a charm.
I used to work with a lovely lady who had a difficult home life & used to take a day's sick leave every couple of weeks.
She must have been running out of excuses on the day she called in to say there was a snake in her kitchen !
Said she was frightened to death and couldn't stop shaking.
This was in Dartford.....in January.
I remember being away on a training course once. My boss gave me a lift home and when she dropped me off I asked her if she wanted a drink or to use the facilities. I was so glad she declined because when I got in, my ashen-faced wife was shrieking 'there's a snake in the kitchen, there's a snake in the kitchen'. Sadly our cats had slaughtered a slowworm in there. It looked like a bloodbath. From memory, it wasn't January though.
I pulled a moody one on my birthday to go watch England vs Bulgaria in Bulgaria and was caught out because I managed to get myself on the news, smashed out of my bonce singing Angels. Work then tried to arrange a disciplinary meeting which I missed as I booked Vegas pissed 4 days before.
Remember when I was a factory manager, one of the lads on the shop floor had been off the day before and had to complete a self sick form. He was sitting at a desk in the office ( very unusual for this to happen). Ask him what he was up to, he said nothing and then left. I then checked google page on the pc. Up came the shits, as he did know how to spell diarrhoea.
1. Nan nearly died (still might die) 2. Dad nearly died (will die soon) 3. Had COVID 4. Might have a brain tumour (this weeks excuse)
What do we do?
Sympathise, give support. And then see in a couple of months time if the trend continues. Could just be that the poor sod is going through the worst couple of months of his life.
Sure I’ve mentioned this on here before but me and a mate bunked off school with dentist appointments one afternoon for something Charlton related (can’t remember 100% but think an away game).
Got away with it fine. Soon after we played Sheff U on a Sunday at Upton Park in cup (90/91). Was a draw, replays had quick turnaround then, next Tuesday. First lesson of the day the headmaster came bursting into our classroom to say ‘sorry for interrupting, I just want to let X and Y know in advance there will be no dentist, doctors or any other appointments tomorrow afternoon’
I can’t remember what excuse I used when I skipped work to get tickets for our midweek cup game up at Middlesbrough. Me and friends wanted to fly up and so we didn’t miss out I volunteered to get the tickets. I could believe my luck while queuing up, BBC London had their film crew down at the valley filming the most riveting subject, Charlton supporters queuing up to by tickets and that evening I was on the London news looking like I was trying to hide in the crowd. Even my very old uncle recognised in queue. The following day was a bit embarrassing.
Running a company of 30 mean that I have heard them all, but i had to let someone go, when it was pointed out that someone had lost 4 grandfathers, 3 grandmothers and 3 mothers in 18 months, couldn’t resist asking him if his father was still alive.
Comments
When my mum got together when my step dad when I was about 20 they invited his adult kids round for the evening.
What was planned as a "civil nice to meet you" evening soon descended into an all night drinking session culminating in me and said step siblings staggering down to the co op at 8am the next morning to stock up on more booze and fags.
Stopped and sat for a rest on a nearby bench by the main road for a smoke and brace ourselves for the walk up the hill home to carry on drinking.
Was due to work in a pub (5 bells chelsfield if anyone cares) at midday but after a 14 hour session didn't really fancy it so called in sick saying I felt proper rough..which was probably true only a few hours early before the inevitable hangover kicked in.
Went back in for next shift a couple of days later and the guvnor had the right hump...why were you off he asked. I said stomach upset like I told you.
Why the f*** did one of my regulars see you sat on a bench swigging a can of stella at 8.30am that morning then?
I just laughed and shrugged and said I'd been thirsty and needed a sit down to get my strength back.
Never found out who the pub Bertie Smalls was but would have ensured to piss in his pint had I done so.
Some Short term self certification forms completed by supervisors included
Sent home pissed
Women's troubles
Got in a fight lunchtime
Came out in a rash
Smelt
I had taken my work phone with me and apart from a cursory question or six from the security people at Gatwick as to why I had two phones (but no drugs) I was on my way. Thankfully I didnt get any call outs and went to work on Monday sulking a bit from having our relegation nigh on confirmed my boss, a Charlton fan but a lapsed one asked me how the weekend had gone, any call outs etc
Yeah magic boss, nothing doing, didnt get a call.
He said it was a good job as he had seen me drinking Stella in the pub at Gatwick and then to add to it, seen me larging it in the pub in Blackburn before the game, for good measure on the concourse at half time and finally me and one of my mates on match of the day swinging our tops over our naked torsos after one of our goals.
As he was a decent bloke after seeing me at Gatwick he had taken it upon himself to remove me from the callout list telling our superiors I had seemed a bit "fatigued" on the Friday. What a bloke and he always got favours out of me until he retired after that, including no sickies
I figured if anyone phoned him up asking "Where's Chunes? Haven't seen him today?" it just reinforced my excuse. Worked like a charm.
Work then tried to arrange a disciplinary meeting which I missed as I booked Vegas pissed 4 days before.
Didn't like the poxy job anyway.
1. Nan nearly died (still might die)
2. Dad nearly died (will die soon)
3. Had COVID
4. Might have a brain tumour (this weeks excuse)
What do we do?
I could believe my luck while queuing up, BBC London had their film crew down at the valley filming the most riveting subject, Charlton supporters queuing up to by tickets and that evening I was on the London news looking like I was trying to hide in the crowd. Even my very old uncle recognised in queue. The following day was a bit embarrassing.