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The Worlds Best Pub ?

24

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  • Free booze for St Georges Day, The Queens Birthday and Agincourt Day.
  • edited May 2008
    Charity collectors, Sally Army have to stand on table sing a song before being allowed to collect. (used to happen in the boozers in Deptford)


    Palace fans welcome but must wear the Dunces Cap while in boozer.


    No carpets in boozer proper wooden floors. Foot rail at bar.
  • All dodgey dvd sellers must just have hardcore german films 3 for a fiver only, no attonment or sex in the city or made of honour shite.
  • Customers who don't expect you to babysit their 'orrible kids.
    Customers who realise someone has to clear their shite up.
    Customers who don't expect freebies, when you are already the cheapest pub around. (Yes, I am looking at you AFKA and GH...)


    Err... actually, just some customers would be nice...
  • Cheapest aint the best mate .

    Free nibbles is a must.

    No charge ever to get in the boozer.

    No stairs to the toilets.
  • Open real fire in the winter

    Some real ale but not getting to silly as to attract people with beards.

    A wierd pub game that you never see anywhere else eg Skittles, Bar Billairds or a Five's Board

    Victorian tiling on the outside of pub that hasn't been painted over.

    No piped music

    No fruit machine

    No horse Brasses esp if in the city.

    No locals who all put their pints down and stare at any "newcomers"
  • [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]Cheapest aint the best mate .

    Free nibbles is a must.

    No charge ever to get in the boozer.

    No stairs to the toilets.


    Cheap ain't good, but free is? Go figure... LOL
  • Henry fire is on the list mate. I thought maybe a small rack in the fire grate for toasting Gooners On? maybe that could be the "new pub game" , u know see how loud they yell.
  • [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]Henry fire is on the list mate. I thought maybe a small rack in the fire grate for toasting Gooners On? maybe that could be the "new pub game" , u know see how loud they yell.

    You could call it Arse Roasting but that might attract the wrong crowd.

    What was that TV show called "last Orders"???? about a few people that used a run down pub.
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]
    [cite]Posted By: Goonerhater[/cite]Henry fire is on the list mate. I thought maybe a small rack in the fire grate for toasting Gooners On? maybe that could be the "new pub game" , u know see how loud they yell.

    You could call it Arse Roasting but that might attract the wrong crowd.

    What was that TV show called "last Orders"???? about a few people that used a run down pub.

    What a great show that was - Craig Cash at his best.
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  • Back to our pub.


    Perry B would be the landlord.

    No wobbly tables

    Lots of beer mats to flip

    A crib board behind the bar.
  • George Orwell on his favourite pub:

    http://www.netcharles.com/orwell/essays/moon-under-water.htm
  • there should be only 2 types of pint glasses.
    1, the pint jug for ales etc.
    2, the straight glass for lagers etc.
    none of this stella in a carling glass boll**s

    barstaff should have psychic powers and know what your regular tipple is, and start pouring it the moment you enter the door or get off your seat to approach the bar.
  • edited May 2008
    Weekly:

    Sunday;
    Roasts on in the resturant area.
    Snacks during day on bar.
    Meat raffle mid day.


    Monday:
    "British menu" in restuarant
    darts on in main bar at night. Free stew for all players and supporters.

    Tuesday
    Pasta on in resturant
    Quiz nite in main bar, sarnies for all players.

    Wednesday
    Roast day in restaurant.
    Karioke nite free first drink for everyone who has a go.Vote for top singer and bottle of bubbly for winner.

    Thursday
    Curry day/nite
    Ladies nite in main boozer. All male bar staff and free first drink.

    Friday
    Fish and Chips in resturant
    50/60z music nite all who turn up in 50/60 clothes free first drink

    Saturday
    fast food day in resturant
    Day time in pub its "men geting away from shopping day" footie on all screens. Only female bar staff.
    Nite-- Live music nite .


    sorted.
  • My absolute number 1 would be:

    No bloke in the toilet offering to turn tap on/dispense soap/hand paper towel/spray choice of shite aftershave for me thank you very much!
  • Free lapdancers
  • Yep china mugs/tankards whatever, before glass was commonly used that was how beer was served.

    There's a pub I go to occasionally here in Germany where they still use beer mugs.
  • I wanna go to this gaff now

    Meat raffles still alive and well in Nth London regular sunday entertainment

    how did the pubs ever die
  • because brewaries / venture groups got greedy, and too many people didn't like being conned.
  • North London were are talking about giving meat away in a raffle in this boozer mate. I think the type of meat raffles they do in North London "is guess what the f**k it is raffle". Lots of pubs in Dalston ----NOT.
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  • Lots of reasons pubs die. Brewrys, propery development, larger numbers of the inner city people dont actually drink.

    Always been sh*t pub landlords but didnt seem to stop people going though. There were always many many more awful pubs that should have been closed on health grounds than there were the legend that is THE GOOD PUB.
  • People drink at home more, more things to do away from the pub such as TV, DVDs, Computer games, the clamp down on drink driving (good), rise in property prizes, new developments built without pubs, less people drinking, theme pubs not liked by many people, loud music, people prefering to drink in a different way such as in cafe's, resturants, people getting off their heads on other substances.
  • Everyone at the bar would agree on "who's next" and wait their turn. Therefore, the practice of waving notes about to grab the attention of the bar staff would die out.

    Is table service asking too much?

    I really am getting old.
  • [cite]Posted By: Henry Irving[/cite]People drink at home more, more things to do away from the pub such as TV, DVDs, Computer games, the clamp down on drink driving (good), rise in property prizes, new developments built without pubs, less people drinking, theme pubs not liked by many people, loud music, people prefering to drink in a different way such as in cafe's, resturants, people getting off their heads on other substances.

    Not forgetting the small problem of not knowing the pub you have walked into with the wife, is half full of idiots who want to fight the world after half a lager top.
  • Oh yes, lager top would be illegal.
  • oh i love a lager top me. Specially if still feeling a bit seedy from the previous day's binge drinking. It takes the edge off it for me.
  • [cite]Posted By: Heath Hero[/cite]Oh yes, lager top would be illegal.

    that's me back on the streets then :-(
  • can we have a sound-proof phone booth in the pub, that when inside plays background noises of train station announcers or office enviroments, depending on which excuse is being told to your better half?
  • [cite]Posted By: paulbaconsarnie[/cite]can we have a sound-proof phone booth in the pub, that when inside plays background noises of train station announcers or office enviroments, depending on which excuse is being told to your better half?

    that is a winner !
  • GH thats the Dalston end i am talking about the Meat raffles we have in Enfield

    Steak, Topside Beef, Lamb Joint, Lamb Chops, Pork Joint, Pork Chop, full Chickens,Chicken Breasts,

    all available in last sundays raffle bud

    none of that bush meat salt fish shite down the road
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