Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.
Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.
That was going well until you mentioned chicken wings.
Bar billiards (maybe even two tables at opposite ends of the bar) Lots of really wacky bottled Belgian beers in amongst yer standards Very poorly lit Weird staircases where you wouldn't expect them, creating strange and poorly-navigable floorspace Some tables have chairs, some have benches, some have weird frayed stools that are the wrong shape All the art on the wall is slightly threatening Dogs wandering around Cats wandering around Very quiet music played through what appears to be a slightly detuned longwave radio Food hand-made in a tiny kitchenette by a local who wants to be a chef. There are two options: meat and vegetarian. It costs £7.50 a pop. A bookshelf full of extremely old and obscure handbooks, manuals, novelties and romance fiction Board games that nobody has heard of and would take far too long to play; also chess and Scrabble Quite dirty No outside bit except maybe a courtyard for smokers. No tables there. The owner(s) sitting at a table near the front, permanently plastered A small weekly quiz based around lateral-thinking exercises. The prize is a rare beer apiece Snuffbox on every table (usually untouched) Permanently unplugged TV
15/ Decent Quality Sound System (Not Bass Heavy they sound Shite) 16/ Discrete High Spec small DJ Booth in Corner (Live DJ's Create a better Atmostphere) 17/ Bouncers on Door with Common Sense
Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.
That was going well until you mentioned chicken wings.
He just wants a menu that when you open it it says
Milk on tap for the hundreds of cats (mostly stray) which frequent the pub Wall-mounted tables reached by ladders and pulleys A staff which includes resident artists, poets and three fortune-tellers A basement cinema screening Stan Brakhage and Maya Deren films perpetually Sixteen jukeboxes all next to each other The Death Room Cryptic paper-trails launched weekly Only illuminated by aquariums A whole corner devoted to art therapy Pressure pads which, when activated, rain sweets from the ceiling The colour palette is plum and putrid green The only drink is absinthe and sugar Any meat brought into the pub will be ritually incinerated and the culprit painted upon the Wall Of Shame in a Schiele-esque rictus Mist rising from floor Daily pub quiz centred around the Duino Elegies by Rilke Life-size automaton of David Foster Wallace reading out his works The jukeboxes can only play prog
Comments
Bar billiards (maybe even two tables at opposite ends of the bar)
Lots of really wacky bottled Belgian beers in amongst yer standards
Very poorly lit
Weird staircases where you wouldn't expect them, creating strange and poorly-navigable floorspace
Some tables have chairs, some have benches, some have weird frayed stools that are the wrong shape
All the art on the wall is slightly threatening
Dogs wandering around
Cats wandering around
Very quiet music played through what appears to be a slightly detuned longwave radio
Food hand-made in a tiny kitchenette by a local who wants to be a chef. There are two options: meat and vegetarian. It costs £7.50 a pop.
A bookshelf full of extremely old and obscure handbooks, manuals, novelties and romance fiction
Board games that nobody has heard of and would take far too long to play; also chess and Scrabble
Quite dirty
No outside bit except maybe a courtyard for smokers. No tables there.
The owner(s) sitting at a table near the front, permanently plastered
A small weekly quiz based around lateral-thinking exercises. The prize is a rare beer apiece
Snuffbox on every table (usually untouched)
Permanently unplugged TV
Called "The Dauntless Robin"
A year long open wood fire.
AINT NO THING BUT A CHICKEN WING
Fantastic proper pub
Milk on tap for the hundreds of cats (mostly stray) which frequent the pub
Wall-mounted tables reached by ladders and pulleys
A staff which includes resident artists, poets and three fortune-tellers
A basement cinema screening Stan Brakhage and Maya Deren films perpetually
Sixteen jukeboxes all next to each other
The Death Room
Cryptic paper-trails launched weekly
Only illuminated by aquariums
A whole corner devoted to art therapy
Pressure pads which, when activated, rain sweets from the ceiling
The colour palette is plum and putrid green
The only drink is absinthe and sugar
Any meat brought into the pub will be ritually incinerated and the culprit painted upon the Wall Of Shame in a Schiele-esque rictus
Mist rising from floor
Daily pub quiz centred around the Duino Elegies by Rilke
Life-size automaton of David Foster Wallace reading out his works
The jukeboxes can only play prog