For example, last night I was saying good night to a french girl from work after a quick pint and i kissed her on the cheek once and she went for the 2nd one (maybe should have anticipated it as she is french) but I had pulled my head away already to leave and she ended up kissing thin air and I apologised when maybe I should have just ignored it and left because it just created a bit more awkwardness. Resulting in a big mess.
And this problem simply can't be fixed by remembering how the continental folks kiss, oh no. Just a week ago I was saying goodbye to a girl I used to go to school with and we went in for the hug, I went for the one sided cheek again but she just went for the hug and her cheek wasn't close enough for me to kiss it so i ended up kissing her ear. Once again very messy.
I saw an interesting kissing mistake in a pub recently - thankfully, I was not involved. Man kisses woman on cheek. He pulls back. As he goes to pull back, she offers second cheek. He lunges back forward and gives second kiss just in time. He pulls back. She offers third kiss on the first cheek. She realises that he has pulled back this time. She pulls back. He starts to lunge forward. She sees him coming forward and moves forward. He head butts her. Not badly, thankfully.
Try this for size. I live in Luxembourg where it is traditional to kiss 3 times on alternating (face!) cheeks, in France it is twice and in Germany, where this has recently become fashionable, fashionable.
It can be difficult to coordinate the kissing when you don't what number the opposing kisser is used to...
It all gets very messy.
Two here, unless it Dutch mates, where as you say, it's three.
Never kiss the Germans, a firm handshake seems to suffice...
Dreamland opening when it just ain't ready, hope it doesn't do too much harm in the future, I don't think we will be back in the near future, rides closed, those that worked were Breaking down left right and centre, the food concessions just are not ready for any sort of numbers, no hot donuts at any kiosks available, the staff are great trying real hard I hope it's for a reason and not a hollow future
Shame, had that penciled for later in the month.
Looks like I'll have to do the Grayson Perry thing instead.
Dreamland opening when it just ain't ready, hope it doesn't do too much harm in the future, I don't think we will be back in the near future, rides closed, those that worked were Breaking down left right and centre, the food concessions just are not ready for any sort of numbers, no hot donuts at any kiosks available, the staff are great trying real hard I hope it's for a reason and not a hollow future
Shame, had that penciled for later in the month.
Looks like I'll have to do the Grayson Perry thing instead.
For example, last night I was saying good night to a french girl from work after a quick pint and i kissed her on the cheek once and she went for the 2nd one (maybe should have anticipated it as she is french) but I had pulled my head away already to leave and she ended up kissing thin air and I apologised when maybe I should have just ignored it and left because it just created a bit more awkwardness. Resulting in a big mess.
And this problem simply can't be fixed by remembering how the continental folks kiss, oh no. Just a week ago I was saying goodbye to a girl I used to go to school with and we went in for the hug, I went for the one sided cheek again but she just went for the hug and her cheek wasn't close enough for me to kiss it so i ended up kissing her ear. Once again very messy.
I saw an interesting kissing mistake in a pub recently - thankfully, I was not involved. Man kisses woman on cheek. He pulls back. As he goes to pull back, she offers second cheek. He lunges back forward and gives second kiss just in time. He pulls back. She offers third kiss on the first cheek. She realises that he has pulled back this time. She pulls back. He starts to lunge forward. She sees him coming forward and moves forward. He head butts her. Not badly, thankfully.
Couples that actually kiss in public. Not a peck on a cheek. Full on snogging. No. Under no circumstance.
Dreamland opening when it just ain't ready, hope it doesn't do too much harm in the future, I don't think we will be back in the near future, rides closed, those that worked were Breaking down left right and centre, the food concessions just are not ready for any sort of numbers, no hot donuts at any kiosks available, the staff are great trying real hard I hope it's for a reason and not a hollow future
Shame, had that penciled for later in the month.
Looks like I'll have to do the Grayson Perry thing instead.
Dreamland opening when it just ain't ready, hope it doesn't do too much harm in the future, I don't think we will be back in the near future, rides closed, those that worked were Breaking down left right and centre, the food concessions just are not ready for any sort of numbers, no hot donuts at any kiosks available, the staff are great trying real hard I hope it's for a reason and not a hollow future
Shame, had that penciled for later in the month.
Looks like I'll have to do the Grayson Perry thing instead.
Dreamland opening when it just ain't ready, hope it doesn't do too much harm in the future, I don't think we will be back in the near future, rides closed, those that worked were Breaking down left right and centre, the food concessions just are not ready for any sort of numbers, no hot donuts at any kiosks available, the staff are great trying real hard I hope it's for a reason and not a hollow future
Shame, had that penciled for later in the month.
Looks like I'll have to do the Grayson Perry thing instead.
When you go lane swimming and you have to share a lane with somebody. That's annoying in itself.
But when it's the two of you, and the other person staunchly swims clockwise or anti-clockwise round the lane. It doesn't make sense, you have to keep adjusting your speed and going round each other, because it's so, so, so unlikely you'll be swimming the exact same speed as each other.
The solution is simple: You stick on the left, I'll stick on the right, and we'll NEVER bump into each other.
Another one, when you have a big non-lane swimming section which gets busy yet you find pairs of women wanting to have a slow swim and a good old natter side by side. Fair enough I get it but they don't need to take up the space of 3-4 people at a time especially when the section is busy. Simple solution is for them to swim closer together don't make people have to cut through the pair of you.
When u realise that the lads that work for you and their pals at 26 are very much younger than you and that the night scene has changed and you are an old cunt
Ordering a mix grill and realising when it is served that it is for 2 to share, that weren't the annoying part, the 100 Euros bill for a unplanned Saturday night burger out is the annoying part and trust me, it's very annoying.
Ordering a mix grill and realising when it is served that it is for 2 to share, that weren't the annoying part, the 100 Euros bill for a unplanned Saturday night burger out is the annoying part and trust me, it's very annoying.
Did it say 'pour deux e100' under the item? Or weren't you alerted when they put plates for two on the table? You'd never get robbed like that at the Golden Grill or Wimpy in Woolwich
Ordering a mix grill and realising when it is served that it is for 2 to share, that weren't the annoying part, the 100 Euros bill for a unplanned Saturday night burger out is the annoying part and trust me, it's very annoying.
Did it say 'pour deux e100' under the item? Or weren't you alerted when they put plates for two on the table? You'd never get robbed like that at the Golden Grill or Wimpy in Woolwich
Given the current exchange rate to euro, he probably would.
Ordering a mix grill and realising when it is served that it is for 2 to share, that weren't the annoying part, the 100 Euros bill for a unplanned Saturday night burger out is the annoying part and trust me, it's very annoying.
Presumably, if you didnt notice the mixed grill was for two then niether did the mrs? So the question is, Did you polish off a mixed grill for two on your own?
Comments
Sorted!
Never kiss the Germans, a firm handshake seems to suffice...
But please shave your legs first.
But when it's the two of you, and the other person staunchly swims clockwise or anti-clockwise round the lane. It doesn't make sense, you have to keep adjusting your speed and going round each other, because it's so, so, so unlikely you'll be swimming the exact same speed as each other.
The solution is simple: You stick on the left, I'll stick on the right, and we'll NEVER bump into each other.
And later you find out they were sugared almonds and she's sucked the sugar off.
Post of the decade I don't think I have laughed so loud ever,
The dave Mehmet school of comments is worth its entry fee and working well