pork-pie...amusingly we often call Italians bad drivers too...Germans have a bad sense of humour...Americans are thought of as being brash and loud the French as arrogant and pompous....they perceive us in exactly the same way it must be said etc etc...we're talking innocent generalisation here I fancy....why take such offense....asian drivers do have something of a rep as being not very good drivers (the Japanese formula one racing driver who invariably crashes...I've forgotten his name, doesn't exactly help to improve that notion does he?) whether it's 'exactly' true or not is another thing altogether.
It's just a silly and mildly amusing notion and should be thought of as such.
I realise this post is in danger of changing the subject(Tiger Woods) drasticly...that wasn't my intention, so let's leave it at that please.
(Someone reacted to that. Result! Actually I didn't take offence at all)
Back to the jokes
How many of you wished it was the other guy in the Gilette ad? No not Federer.
The damaged tyre that caused dear Tiger to crash. It looks as if he got a hole in one.
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree. Tiger woods dropped by Gillette after admitting in an interview that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had
Obviously dont know how much truth there is in this, but this link was just posted up on SIMB, appears that an adult female has just been removed from Tiger Wood's house in the early hours of the morning in "life support" condition.
Suicide or have we got another OJ Simpson on our hands?
[cite]Posted By: JohnBoyUK[/cite]Obviously dont know how much truth there is in this, but this link was just posted up on SIMB, appears that an adult female has just been removed from Tiger Wood's house in the early hours of the morning in "life support" condition.
Suicide or have we got another OJ Simpson on our hands?
This story is also on Sky News....but it states the woman has now been released. Seems all abit fake at the moment. Now a porn star reckons Tigers been having a bit of her. Wouldnt be suprised if no.8 is Colin Montgomerie, what with his tits.
the intersting one is the affair he had the a well known british female presenter.
She is married (wasnt at the time) and pregnant currently (not his)
does anyone know??? I thought of a certain sky presenter who's father was a ryder cup captain, the other one being a the daughter of the former welsh manager.
I'm not one to mention names but apparently the british tv presenter is someone who likes making HOME VIDEOS, on a weekend likes to watch SPORTS NEWS whilst having a SATURDAY NIGHT TAKEAWAY and apparently likes her men to be a GLADIATOR in the bedroom (and no it's not Ulrika). Oh and could easily be in an OASIS tribute band, if she wished.
I've gained some respect back fot Tiger, some of the others have been really rough, but I've always thought this one could make me RI:SE in the morning...
mmmm another rumour doing the rounds is that he has "courted" a certain Sky Golf Presenter who used to go out with one half of a well known TV "celebrity" partnership.
Read a very interesting conspiracy theory about this the other day.
Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years.
For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes.
For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution.
Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.
[quote][cite]Posted By: carly burn[/cite]Read a very interesting conspiracy theory about this the other day. Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years. For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes. For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution. Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.[/quote]
Yes, they positively forced him into rooting the arse off every cocktail waitress in the US in order to take his halo off him.
Please, be serious.
Tiger Woods has been sponsored to the tune of tens of millions of dollars by some of the biggest blue-chip firms in the US, the corporate world loved him because of his "perfection" - the last thing they wanted was to tear him down, they had a lot invested in him.
There is racism in the "Country Club" golfing world, of that you can be sure, but Tiger Woods brought this on himself.
The only person to come out of this with any dignity is Jesper Parnevik who has had the balls to tell it like it is.
[cite]Posted By: carly burn[/cite]Read a very interesting conspiracy theory about this the other day.
Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years.
For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes.
For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution.
Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.
Best Tiger Woods joke of the day. It's all a conspiracy !
[cite]Posted By: carly burn[/cite]Read a very interesting conspiracy theory about this the other day.
Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years.
For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes.
For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution.
Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.
Yes, they positively forced him into rooting the arse off every cocktail waitress in the US in order to take his halo off him.
Please, be serious.
Tiger Woods has been sponsored to the tune of tens of millions of dollars by some of the biggest blue-chip firms in the US, the corporate world loved him because of his "perfection" - the last thing they wanted was to tear him down, they had a lot invested in him.
There is racism in the "Country Club" golfing world, of that you can be sure, but Tiger Woods brought this on himself.
The only person to come out of this with any dignity is Jesper Parnevik who has had the balls to tell it like it is.
Don't shoot the messenger!Probably complete pish and lies.Maybe i should have put it in the takeover thread.
The gossip is it was one of either KG or Miss Stewart. And seeing as I saw somewhere it was a Scottish woman, with connections in the golfing world, whose currently pregnant and engaged to be married, that's KG to me. Still I'd loved to be linked with either of them, let alone both! Lucky git.....
Still didn't Di Stewart go out with Jonny Wilkinson at uni? Not doing bad in the superstar sportsman game is she. She'll probably bring out her own Top Trumps: all she needs now is Messers Beckham and Hamilton on her bedpost and she'll have the set!
Sharpton Blasts Tiger Woods for Lack of Mistress Diversity
The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem . "What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?"
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, "I'm not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I'm just asking you to give back to your own community."
[quote][cite]Posted By: American_Addick[/cite][b]Sharpton Blasts Tiger Woods for Lack of Mistress Diversity[/b]
The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of supporters in Harlem . "What does it say to young black girls everywhere when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?"
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, "I'm not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I'm just asking you to give back to your own community."[/quote]
Excellent, and probably not too far away from Rev. Sharpton's own thoughts on the matter!
He's never been one to court publicity and says his apologies should be to his family and not in a press-release. As far as I'm concerned the papers should leave him alone. I'm not interested in trying to deconstruct a man and his family.
[quote][cite]Posted By: Chunes[/cite]He's never been one to court publicity and says his apologies should be to his family and not in a press-release. As far as I'm concerned the papers should leave him alone. I'm not interested in trying to deconstruct a man and his family.[/quote]
Not one to court publicity? He may not be in the Beckham-league as far as self-promotion goes but he is certainly no Paul Scholes either.
Look at his blue-chip sponsorts, American Express, Gillette, Accenture, Nike, AT&T and Gatorade - what do you think they are paying him for exactly?
They are not paying him for his golfing skills at all, they are paying to be associated with his ultra-clean, dedicated, honest, professional image because THAT is how they want their brands to be viewed as well. Do you think they would have given him a contract if the world knew he was banging half the loose women of America? Of course not.
He had THE best global sports brand on the planet without doubt and these revelations have wrecked that, especially that voice mail where he asks the cocktail waitress to change her voice-mail in case his wife calls - that went down very, very badly in the conservative US golfing/corporate market which is dominated by the Religious Right.
If Tiger Woods was worried about his family getting hurt then I am thinking maybe he might have tried just a tad harder to keep his Hampton inside his Nike underpants when confronted by cocktail waitresses/porn stars/TV interviewers when temptation was around, bit late complaining about that now.
He will come back as a golfer, no doubt about that, but as a "brand" he is damaged beyond repair outside the core golf gear market. His major sponsors have not run a single TV spot featuring Tiger in the US since this broke and won't do so for a long time yet.
Of course, his sponsors are not going to "drop" him straight away because that would bring more bad PR, but how can the likes of Accenture and American Express, which are brands basically built on trust, have him as their corporate face? Impossible.
If he thinks he can hide behind his website and not come out and face the cameras then he is sorely mistaken and is getting some terrible advice, the only way to begin his redemption is by fronting up and apologising publicly to all concerned in his family and wider circles of friends and associates.
The last sex scandal this big in the US was Clinton/Lewinsky and it was only when Clinton had the courage to front up and apologise - after his initial ridiculous parsing on the issue (deciding that "sexual relations" only referred to full sex rather than oral sex) - that he began to restore his reputation to some degree.
Woods has humilated his wife and family publicly and needs to have the courage to apologise publicly, anything else is a major cop-out and shows a real lack of class on his part, although that is hardly a surprise given his recent form.
He will come back as a golfer, no doubt about that, but as a "brand" he is damaged beyond repair outside the core golf gear market. His major sponsors have not run a single TV spot featuring Tiger in the US since this broke and won't do so for a long time yet.
Of course, his sponsors are not going to "drop" him straight away because that would bring more bad PR, but how can the likes of Accenture and American Express, which are brands basically built on trust, have him as their corporate face? Impossible.
...........
Comments
It's just a silly and mildly amusing notion and should be thought of as such.
I realise this post is in danger of changing the subject(Tiger Woods) drasticly...that wasn't my intention, so let's leave it at that please.
Agreed, back to the jokes
What's the difference between a car and a golf ball?
Tiger Woods can drive a golf ball more than 200 metres
Back to the jokes
How many of you wished it was the other guy in the Gilette ad?
No not Federer.
The damaged tyre that caused dear Tiger to crash. It looks as if he got a hole in one.
After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree. Tiger woods dropped by Gillette after admitting in an interview that his crash was the closest shave he had ever had
Suicide or have we got another OJ Simpson on our hands?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/34323757/ns/sports-golf/
This story is also on Sky News....but it states the woman has now been released. Seems all abit fake at the moment. Now a porn star reckons Tigers been having a bit of her. Wouldnt be suprised if no.8 is Colin Montgomerie, what with his tits.
She is married (wasnt at the time) and pregnant currently (not his)
does anyone know??? I thought of a certain sky presenter who's father was a ryder cup captain, the other one being a the daughter of the former welsh manager.
...some of them are minging. I mean, if your gonna do something wrong, do it right.
I've gained some respect back fot Tiger, some of the others have been really rough, but I've always thought this one could make me RI:SE in the morning...
Though I think this one was a while back before he was married, and she was single....
Woods Rolls The Dice
I think he asked her to clean his balls after he had played around.
Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years.
For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes.
For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution.
Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.
Golf is prodominantly a white middle class game across the world,more so the USA.The thought that the best ever player to hold a club could be Black has been scaring the world golfing hierachy to death for years.
For the record .Tiger,although probably THE best ever,is still a little way behind Jack Niclaus in the major stakes.
For years now,the powers that be have been setting Woods up for a fall.Knowing he has a bit of a wandering eye they have been putting him in situations where temptation has been around every corner.He has been taking the bait.And the clever part is how it has all been kept quiet.Get caught the first time,no problem,buy the missus a new pair of diamond encrusted shoes.Twice,a new yatch.But this extroadinary amount of women and the ability to keep them all quiet until now takes some serious planning and execution.
Don't see any chance of Tiger coming back from this whatsoever.And that is just how the men in green jackets want it.[/quote]
Yes, they positively forced him into rooting the arse off every cocktail waitress in the US in order to take his halo off him.
Please, be serious.
Tiger Woods has been sponsored to the tune of tens of millions of dollars by some of the biggest blue-chip firms in the US, the corporate world loved him because of his "perfection" - the last thing they wanted was to tear him down, they had a lot invested in him.
There is racism in the "Country Club" golfing world, of that you can be sure, but Tiger Woods brought this on himself.
The only person to come out of this with any dignity is Jesper Parnevik who has had the balls to tell it like it is.
Best Tiger Woods joke of the day. It's all a conspiracy !
Don't shoot the messenger!Probably complete pish and lies.Maybe i should have put it in the takeover thread.
Sky's Di stewart
Still didn't Di Stewart go out with Jonny Wilkinson at uni? Not doing bad in the superstar sportsman game is she. She'll probably bring out her own Top Trumps: all she needs now is Messers Beckham and Hamilton on her bedpost and she'll have the set!
The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat
on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of
supporters in Harlem . "What does it say to young black girls everywhere
when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?"
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive
black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, "I'm not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I'm just
asking you to give back to your own community."
"Tiger Woods hit a tree ... and a lot of ladies fell out."
The Rev. Al Sharpton held a press conference today to blast Tiger Woods for the lack of diversity among his mistresses. Sharpton claims that the lack of African-American women among Woods' harem will have a negative effect on the black community, specifically young black girls.
"Why is it that a man who calls himself black can't bring himself to cheat
on his wife with a black woman?" said Sharpton, speaking to a group of
supporters in Harlem . "What does it say to young black girls everywhere
when you pass them over? Shame on you, Tiger Woods. What would your daddy say?"
Sharpton, who has long championed taking black women as mistresses, said that today's black athletes need to stop neglecting black women when it comes to extramarital affairs, and should follow the examples of positive
black role models such as Jesse Jackson and Martin Luther King, Jr., both of whom cheated on their wives with black women. Sharpton also stressed that cheating with African-American women would help the black community financially by giving black girls the chance to sell their stories to tabloids and gossip magazines.
Added Sharpton, "I'm not asking you to not cheat on your wives, I'm just
asking you to give back to your own community."[/quote]
Excellent, and probably not too far away from Rev. Sharpton's own thoughts on the matter!
Not one to court publicity? He may not be in the Beckham-league as far as self-promotion goes but he is certainly no Paul Scholes either.
Look at his blue-chip sponsorts, American Express, Gillette, Accenture, Nike, AT&T and Gatorade - what do you think they are paying him for exactly?
They are not paying him for his golfing skills at all, they are paying to be associated with his ultra-clean, dedicated, honest, professional image because THAT is how they want their brands to be viewed as well. Do you think they would have given him a contract if the world knew he was banging half the loose women of America? Of course not.
He had THE best global sports brand on the planet without doubt and these revelations have wrecked that, especially that voice mail where he asks the cocktail waitress to change her voice-mail in case his wife calls - that went down very, very badly in the conservative US golfing/corporate market which is dominated by the Religious Right.
If Tiger Woods was worried about his family getting hurt then I am thinking maybe he might have tried just a tad harder to keep his Hampton inside his Nike underpants when confronted by cocktail waitresses/porn stars/TV interviewers when temptation was around, bit late complaining about that now.
He will come back as a golfer, no doubt about that, but as a "brand" he is damaged beyond repair outside the core golf gear market. His major sponsors have not run a single TV spot featuring Tiger in the US since this broke and won't do so for a long time yet.
Of course, his sponsors are not going to "drop" him straight away because that would bring more bad PR, but how can the likes of Accenture and American Express, which are brands basically built on trust, have him as their corporate face? Impossible.
If he thinks he can hide behind his website and not come out and face the cameras then he is sorely mistaken and is getting some terrible advice, the only way to begin his redemption is by fronting up and apologising publicly to all concerned in his family and wider circles of friends and associates.
The last sex scandal this big in the US was Clinton/Lewinsky and it was only when Clinton had the courage to front up and apologise - after his initial ridiculous parsing on the issue (deciding that "sexual relations" only referred to full sex rather than oral sex) - that he began to restore his reputation to some degree.
Woods has humilated his wife and family publicly and needs to have the courage to apologise publicly, anything else is a major cop-out and shows a real lack of class on his part, although that is hardly a surprise given his recent form.
Of course, his sponsors are not going to "drop" him straight away because that would bring more bad PR, but how can the likes of Accenture and American Express, which are brands basically built on trust, have him as their corporate face? Impossible.
...........
And Gatorade have dropped him already.