Another thought. Aussies/Kiwis are often at each other’s throats, most of it in good humour. When I first came to NZ in the 1960s Ten Pound Poms were the butt of constant jokes and it wouldn’t have been in my best interests to be offended. Don’t get me on the subject of the laughable rugby teams sent out from the UK in those days, full of teachers and accountants, run over by the burly farmers of Southland and Canterbury.
I think it’s the intent of humour that’s important, not whether it’s racist, sexist or whatever.
Another thought. Aussies/Kiwis are often at each other’s throats, most of it in good humour. When I first came to NZ in the 1960s Ten Pound Poms were the butt of constant jokes and it wouldn’t have been in my best interests to be offended. Don’t get me on the subject of the laughable rugby teams sent out from the UK in those days, full of teachers and accountants, run over by the burly farmers of Southland and Canterbury.
I think it’s the intent of humour that’s important, not whether it’s racist, sexist or whatever.
Please don’t take an adult mature view of the content of the joke, you need to really analysis it, and decide whether you are offended by its content. Then come on here, and educate the rest of us as to why we are “Racist Raving Nazi,s” because we can tolerate a bit of jesting about stereotypes, that we all know are miles off the mark.
A millionaire had a collection of live alligators.
He kept them in a pool at the back of his mansion.
The millionaire also had a beautiful daughter who was single.
One day, he decides to throw a huge party.
During the party he announces,
“My dear guests, I have a proposition to every man here. I will give one million dollars or my daughter to the man who can swim across this pool full of alligators and emerge unharmed!”
As soon as he finishes his last word, there is the sound of a large splash.
The guests all turn to see a man in the pool swimming as fast as he can.
They cheer him on as he keeps stroking.
Finally, the swimming man makes it to the other side unharmed.
The millionaire is so impressed, and says,
“My boy, that was incredible! Fantastic! I didn’t think it could be done! Well, I must keep my end of the bargain. Which do you want, my daughter or the one million dollars?”
The man says,
“Listen, I don’t want your money. I don’t want your daughter, either. All I want is to find the twat that pushed me in that water!”
I just showed my missus this. She said "I'd rather have it up there than down my throat". All I said was "Are we still talking Covid Tests?" She's so touchy these days.
A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching reading, writing, maths and science. One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gives birth to a white child.
The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever seen and this woman gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what happened!”
The professor thinks quickly, “No Chief, you’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence .. what we in the civilised world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion”.
The Chief is silent for a moment, then says “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about the sheep and I won’t say anything more about the baby”.
A young Portsmouth woman was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the sea, but just before she could throw herself from the wharf, a handsome young man stopped her.
"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Australia tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."
With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Australia, the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold.
From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn.
Two weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine
inspection.
"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He
brings me food and I get a free trip to Australia."
"I see," the captain says.
Her conscience got the better of her and she added, "Plus, he's
screwing me."
.
.
.
"He certainly is," replied the captain. "This is the Isle of Wight
Comments
Anna 1 Anna 2.
Words are being had with myself.
He said "it was an age old remedy to help him live longer.
In fact, he lived to the ripe old age of 97 and left his widow, 4 children, 14 Grandchildren and a 50 foot crater where the crematorium used to be!
“What did the doctor say?” her husband asks.
”He said I have the figure of an eighteen-year-old” she replies.
“What did he say about your big fat arse?” quips the husband
”Your name didn’t come up”
I asked the baker why that is £1 when everything else is 50p?
"That's Madeira Cake"
The members of the tribe are shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever seen and this woman gave birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to work out what happened!”
The professor thinks quickly, “No Chief, you’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence .. what we in the civilised world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion”.
The Chief is silent for a moment, then says “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about the sheep and I won’t say anything more about the baby”.