Many years ago I was having really bad problems with gout and I was at my wits end so I decided to try some Chinese medicine. To cut a long story short, the Chinese Doctor gave me seven bags full of stuff which vaguely resembled tree bark and deer shit with the instructions to boil up up the contents of a bag each day along with 2 pints of water and have a pint in the morning and a pint in the evening...Fine
The only problem was the side effects were horrendus. All I will say is that I managed to clear a pub completely, not once, but twice in one evening until I was banned by the manager. Haven't had the front to go back to the pub either.
My brother in law managed to evacuate a whole wedding reception with his arse once, the bloke is a legend and is also a hammer so read into that what you will. also there is nothing worse than a packed train and someone drops one, whoever does this vile act has no manners or up bringing whatsoever, it to me is the same as punching people in the face. im 28 years old and still find a good fart gag very very funny, and in the right places can reduce me to tears. i saw a film with the bloke from rising damp in when i was i kid about this french bloke who farts cracked me up, also my dads ivor biggun records includes the track 'Ive Farted' which is so funny. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kY-10i_nEXU
I love farting, sometimes if I'm driving to work on my todd I will do the windows up to get the full benefit of one of my post session efforts.
I will unashamedly crease up over that scene from blazing saddles round the fire.
And was there anything funnier than being in exam or assembly at school and someone letting fluffy off the chain without meaning to? Shoulders shake faces go red and I roll up laughing and get slung out for laughing like a drain
Prime ministers question time it may not be Henry, but this thread as made me laugh a few times through what has been quite a dull and hard working day. after all the CL motto is Live, love, laugh, and be happy.
Henry, chill out, or are you one of these that never farts? Had a mate at school like, would always make a comment if someone dropped one, reminds me of that bloke from American Pie who would not use a public loo.
Agreed adam, this thread has been one of the funniest less serious ones of what has been a boring week or two.
I had bad guts and was trying to hold it in...this apparently made my cheeks rather taut and when a bit crept out it was particularly aggressive sounding.
It made this kid jump and he started crying.
This in turn led me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes and had to explain myself to my wife.
[cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]I love farting, sometimes if I'm driving to work on my todd I will do the windows up to get the full benefit of one of my post session efforts.
I will unashamedly crease up over that scene from blazing saddles round the fire.
And was there anything funnier than being in exam or assembly at school and someone letting fluffy off the chain without meaning to? Shoulders shake faces go red and I roll up laughing and get slung out for laughing like a drain
Anyone remember the Orange chairs that were standard in any ILEA school? If you sat just right you could let a real rumbler out.
I Remember getting sent to stand outside the heads office when I let one go in Maths. Had really bad guts and had been letting go all day then this almighty trump escaped making the biggest rasping noise (sorry Henry). The whole class erupted and the geriatric allegedly teaching us nearly had a heart attack.
Got sent to stand outside the Head's office which wasn't a problem as he was off sick.
Carter, there is an awesome car fart trick i sometimes get my mrs with if i am driving, let one off (it needs to be a good one tho, you know proper gag fest)
well open the passengers window for them, just a lil bit tho, just for like 3 seconds or so, then do it back up, what happens is thus, the stench gets sucked straight straight out of the tiny window opening, but cos you shut it after 3 seconds, the smell will linger right under the nostrils of the passenger, its a real quality way of inflicting maximum guff sharing. You can try it with anyone, you do have to have both window controls on your door tho, and if you manage a silent one, even better!!
My mrs is a lucky one isn't she lol
There is something about gruffing, air biscuits, farts, trumps, grunting and fluffing, that really make me laugh, the smell of a gag fester, or the sound of a wet one, just makes me laugh with shaking shoulders that carter explained!
Don't even reckon i'll stop laughing at farts!! lol
Comments
worked wonders for me!!
Went red then 30 seconds later the smell surfaced again
The only problem was the side effects were horrendus. All I will say is that I managed to clear a pub completely, not once, but twice in one evening until I was banned by the manager. Haven't had the front to go back to the pub either.
As for the cure for gout...It didn't work.
The George in Bexley. This was about 15 years ago
Still makes me chortle ...
Afternoon Delight is the daddy of all farters incha AD
Makes you feel like a palarse fan when your full of wind and any attempt to let it out results in a stinker!!
I will unashamedly crease up over that scene from blazing saddles round the fire.
And was there anything funnier than being in exam or assembly at school and someone letting fluffy off the chain without meaning to? Shoulders shake faces go red and I roll up laughing and get slung out for laughing like a drain
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=evwLzR57wsc Le Petamame
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yiT7MtEG5Do this one gets me eveytime!!!
the stink palm ladies and gentleman...
Agreed adam, this thread has been one of the funniest less serious ones of what has been a boring week or two.
The resulting gas from his backside often forces me to leave the room.
I had bad guts and was trying to hold it in...this apparently made my cheeks rather taut and when a bit crept out it was particularly aggressive sounding.
It made this kid jump and he started crying.
This in turn led me to laugh so hard I had tears in my eyes and had to explain myself to my wife.
Oh, happy days
Now that is funny.
I Remember getting sent to stand outside the heads office when I let one go in Maths. Had really bad guts and had been letting go all day then this almighty trump escaped making the biggest rasping noise (sorry Henry). The whole class erupted and the geriatric allegedly teaching us nearly had a heart attack.
Got sent to stand outside the Head's office which wasn't a problem as he was off sick.
well open the passengers window for them, just a lil bit tho, just for like 3 seconds or so, then do it back up, what happens is thus, the stench gets sucked straight straight out of the tiny window opening, but cos you shut it after 3 seconds, the smell will linger right under the nostrils of the passenger, its a real quality way of inflicting maximum guff sharing. You can try it with anyone, you do have to have both window controls on your door tho, and if you manage a silent one, even better!!
My mrs is a lucky one isn't she lol
There is something about gruffing, air biscuits, farts, trumps, grunting and fluffing, that really make me laugh, the smell of a gag fester, or the sound of a wet one, just makes me laugh with shaking shoulders that carter explained!
Don't even reckon i'll stop laughing at farts!! lol