[cite]Posted By: addick&chips[/cite]what a great thread.
my first day of senior school, sitting in the second row from the back in geography lesson. im brewing up a right beauty. while i contemplate whether or not i should let rip or hold it in, the thought alone makes me chuckle. as i giggle i let out a thunderous fart which is followed by a few more as my body shakes with laughter. i'll never forget the look of sheer disgust on some of the pupils faces as they turned round to see who had made such a noise. clearly it was I, sniggering at my own fart. 17 years on and it still cracks me up
[cite]Posted By: addick&chips[/cite]what a great thread.
my first day of senior school, sitting in the second row from the back in geography lesson. im brewing up a right beauty. while i contemplate whether or not i should let rip or hold it in, the thought alone makes me chuckle. as i giggle i let out a thunderous fart which is followed by a few more as my body shakes with laughter. i'll never forget the look of sheer disgust on some of the pupils faces as they turned round to see who had made such a noise. clearly it was I, sniggering at my own fart. 17 years on and it still cracks me up
Hahaha - I've got a similar one to that. I brewed one up and let rip in a French lesson once - my mate pissed himself and we both got sent out. As I was passing the teacher's desk I farted again (completely unplanned) - which led me to fart even more as I laughed myself silly. Farts are hilarious! Though I did once have a girl start crying in the sack when she fanny farted. Like the true bastard I am, I couldn't help laughing.
dear me .reminds me of getting those lewis coaches,and people finding it funny to make the coach stink,then after being beat 4.0 at chester or something they done the same on the way back,no class
Never ever wear your headphones with Pink Floyd on full volume and think you are letting out a silent one....the whole shop could hear the racket, except me who was comfortably numb to it all...
First time I've come across this thread and cried with laughter!
My favourite gadget in my car is the button that locks the electric windows. This is frequently deployed on matchdays with my dad and nephew in the car. Despite their cries of anguish, I'm sure that deep down they enjoy the gag inducing stench that I share with them, particulalry if our home games fall the day after the monthly curry night at work!
I was at Lakeside on Sat and i saw this electronic fart machine in the Gizmo Shop. It was a figure of a fat bloke with his trousers around his ankles bending over. I haven't taken it out the packet yet but when you switch it on and go near it it then farts - quality! Great stocking filler ;)
Going to a meeting in 10 mins i have windy pops this morning and i intend to let rip lock the office door behind me and await the response of the 1st person who opens it after me
Peter Sellers in an out take from 1 of the Pink Panther films.
He is in a lift scene and lets 1 go. Not in the script and ruins the take but had everyone cracking up.
Its always good value to drop your guts in the lift when you are alone, do it just before you reach your floor, then exit quickly. Also experienced the downside of letting rip whilst caving, there is nowhere for it to go.. so when you come back thorugh that way later its still there!
[cite]Posted By: Carter[/cite]My mate Darren was telling me how he tried to tear one out when he was in Sri Lanka on holiday with his fiancee.
They were at dinner on a beautiful seaside terrace, he was wearing linen trousers.
Cut a long story short, his sphynctal control wasn't as good as he thought, he followed through.
Very embarrasing I'm sure but his comment to me describing this finished me
'Dan, I tell you what, it's amazing how quickly warm shit turns cold by the time it's hit your ankle'
I got the trotts when I was on honeymoon in the far east. Was in the open air restaraunt in the hotel and got caught short. Just made it to the bog. It was a single cubicle with slatted doors, so not too much privacy. Sat down and exploded in a wall of noise and splattering. After a few minutes of eruption, I realised there was someone outside waiting and I thought poor bloke he's got to follow this! It was only when I looked up and saw a tampax machine, that I realised I may not have been in the gents!! To make it worse, the bird who was waiting outside was fit!
When i went on a lads holiday to Greece 2 years ago I got lucky with some sort from Huddersfield. I took her back to my hotel room and as we was just about to get it on she farted right in my face! It didn't smell but it was loud and for the next 10 mins i couldn't stop laughing. We both ended up having a good night and the memory of her farting will last forever! When we play Huddersfield away I wanna see if i can meet up with her. We're friends on facebook and her name is Katrina or as I like to call her Fartrina lol
Went on a date last night. We said we would meet at 7, but she was waiting for a cab to arrive so was running about 5-10 minutes late. I've ordered a beer and sat down waiting for her to arrive. Nerves could be partly to blame but im gonna say it was the large Big Mac meal with a Chicken Sandwich at lunch that done it, but i really needed a crap. And i knew it was gonna be a shocker. So i gambled on her being that little bit later than she said. I go to the gents and absolutely explode, proper pebble-dash the place out!...but it keeps coming....for 10 minutes. Feeling alot better i sort myself out, make myself look cool in the mirror and stroll out the gents feeling good. Only to see my date standing there with a drink, having been waiting there for 10 minutes. God knows what she thought...probably ''this fella does biiiig shits.''
I am always doing power dumps at work. Those double sausage Mcmuffins turn me into a shitting monster in the mornings! I usually get a rumble at about 10am so I rush to the toilet and i usually spend more than 10 mins having a good old clear out! My colleagues have even started to time me and the record is 23 mins. They have even done a chart labbled DPD (Dave's power dumps) as if they don't have better things to do!
Comments
Brilliant !!!!
Sandras just leaving for work, looks over my shoulder and see's "Fanny farts crease me up" !!
You're in trouble mate !
;-)
It's all just hot air, MoG
;o)
My favourite gadget in my car is the button that locks the electric windows. This is frequently deployed on matchdays with my dad and nephew in the car. Despite their cries of anguish, I'm sure that deep down they enjoy the gag inducing stench that I share with them, particulalry if our home games fall the day after the monthly curry night at work!
He is in a lift scene and lets 1 go. Not in the script and ruins the take but had everyone cracking up.
Here's one of my all-time favourite website: http://www.fart.com/
Or you may just find yourself sitting next to one.
;o)
It comes from the island of bum
It travels down the valley of trouser leg
And comes out with a musical hum
They were at dinner on a beautiful seaside terrace, he was wearing linen trousers.
Cut a long story short, his sphynctal control wasn't as good as he thought, he followed through.
Very embarrasing I'm sure but his comment to me describing this finished me
'Dan, I tell you what, it's amazing how quickly warm shit turns cold by the time it's hit your ankle'
I got the trotts when I was on honeymoon in the far east. Was in the open air restaraunt in the hotel and got caught short. Just made it to the bog. It was a single cubicle with slatted doors, so not too much privacy. Sat down and exploded in a wall of noise and splattering. After a few minutes of eruption, I realised there was someone outside waiting and I thought poor bloke he's got to follow this! It was only when I looked up and saw a tampax machine, that I realised I may not have been in the gents!! To make it worse, the bird who was waiting outside was fit!
I've been almost crying with laughter at this thread but that tops it off!!
Yes we did. I guess the fart made me want her even more lol
I am always doing power dumps at work. Those double sausage Mcmuffins turn me into a shitting monster in the mornings! I usually get a rumble at about 10am so I rush to the toilet and i usually spend more than 10 mins having a good old clear out! My colleagues have even started to time me and the record is 23 mins. They have even done a chart labbled DPD (Dave's power dumps) as if they don't have better things to do!