'jokes' about child abuse
wannabee gangsters
wannabee geezers
jars that are impossible to open and make you feel like your arm is coming out of its socket
clothes creasing the minute you put on a seat belt
crisp packets getting smaller
people
Oh yes....putting your feet on seats just 'never' happened a few years back....practicly unheard of you just wouldn't have shown yourself up in public doing that.
Some perpetrators even give you a dirty look when you want to sit down and they have their feet up on the very place you need or want to occupy....The f'ing nerve of 'em!!
People who bring their children into work in some bizarre and uneccessary form of show and tell.
When and more importantly why did this modern, gut- wrecnhing phenomenon start? Im not talking about people who HAVE to bring the kids into work occasionaly but the ones who deliberatly choose to parade their offspring as some kind of status symbol. Barely a fortnight passes in my place without a young Timmy or toddler Tabitha being paraded around the open plan like some kind of minature show pony. Suddenly every woman in the immediate vicinity are making cooing noises as they dote over these poor bewildered brats....including the Miss Havisham bint who normally shows no emotion or sign of life for the other 364 days of the year.
And then,even worse, you have the slimy bloke from HR who will go over and pander to this circus a) to curry favour if the parading parents in question are somewhat senior in rank or b) even more cringingly in a thinly- veiled attempt to convince the fauining ladies that they are in fact a sensitive guy, who would be great father- material one day (and not the sad, lonely bike saddle- sniffing loser who still lives at home with mother watching re- runs of Heartbeat on UK Gold every night) in a futile attempt to gain some kind of future contact with a lady that does not have staples through her midriff or doesnt require access to braodband.
It somewhat grates. It's nothing to do with the children as they have no choice and probably if they had the awareness of what ma and pa were doing would cringe with embarrassment and require some kind of post- trauma therapy to get over the humiliation it is more the smug, self- satisfied looks plastered across the parent's idiotic grinning faces.
Ive nothing against kids - I was mates with loads of them when i was at school (to pilfer a quote) but this whole practice must cease post haste.
Well done Connie, Julian you have managed to pro- create but please there is no need to do the human equivalent of David Brent bringing his dog to the office as people have been having children for millions of years (or 2000+ if you're religious) and it aint worth distracting me from my internet browsing.
I would also throw in the whole people buying cakes for their birthdays and also the berk sat a few rows behind me speaking loudly in plummy tones to a gaggle of cackling ladies about how "my friends have man bags" and other such Putney/Clapham- esque related sh1te that comes out of his mouth.
some bint who had her huge suitcase in front of a seat during rush hour, this old fella gets on asks me if he can sit down. I said "sure if you can negotiate this suitcase". He says "I am sure it didn't buy a ticket".. the bint moved with suitcase, but I got the grief and not even any recognitition by this old fart that it wasn't mine.
gobby teenage girls who walk 3, sometimes 4, abreast on the pavement, and then screech obscenities at you when you walk straight through them. Which I do!
"Its not the kids fault tho. All parents that think 400 people should have to put up with their screaming kids on a long haul flight shuld be strapped to a chair for 14 hours and have people they have never met scream in their ear at 10 min intervals,knock their chair every 15 mins , and run up the side of them every 20 mins."
That was the initial point I made, but some people are either too thick, or too self righteous to get it. If you take a baby on a long haul flight IT suffers for your lovely holiday. Why is this not seen as socially unacceptable? It is child abuse.
Re; Rodney C.T's post (sorry I can't do quoting), you might like to mention to your management or the smarmie HR man that such visitors probably aren't covered by the company's liability insurance and should anything untoward happen, e.g they slip and fall down the stairs they'll be suing as soon as they find a phone!
Irritating: drivers that pull out in front of you even though there is nothing for miles behind you, then they drive really, really slowly. And drivers that stop dead at roundabouts even though there is absolutely nothing else in sight anywhere!
Oh, boy never realised you were all so uptight ; - )
I can agree with what Sparrows Lane said about people in queues who wait until they reach the counter to decide what to get and what AFKA said "jokes" about child abuse
but the real biggies for me are not being able to quote from one page to another on Charlton Life and crisp packets being the wrong colour. Cheese & Onion crisps come in green bags and Salt & Vinagar in blue bags. Anything else is just not natural.
When toilet gets blocked and turds float on the top, cos daughter has overdone the toilet paper and muggins here has to unblock the mess with a coathanger.
The garden hose tap leaks, no matter what I do and sometimes comes off, soaking me!
[cite]Posted By: thewolfboy[/cite]When toilet gets blocked and turds float on the top, cos daughter has overdone the toilet paper and muggins here has to unblock the mess with a coathanger.
The garden hose tap leaks, no matter what I do and sometimes comes off, soaking me!
Quote....'No matter what I do'.....answer....call a plumber!
When you go to the Petrol station and the person infront of you can quite clearly see you waiting to use the pump yet they always seem to take forever to pull away
e.g Women will come up to the car, take forever finding her keys, then once inside the car will check her hair, put some lipstick on, put her seatbelt on and THEN decide to slowly pull away..
as a driving instructor, people who beep learners - as if that's going to suddenly spur them into action. people that drive right up the backside of learners - it won't make them go quicker fuckers people who block side roads in traffic so you can't join the major road. people's lack of correct/correctly timed signals. people that get into the right hand lane at traffic lights then realise that someone in front is turning right (big surprise) and push themselves out. people that cover crossings. people that insist on rolling back and forth when stopped on a hill instead of just keeping their bloody feet still at the biting point and the car will stay still. and many more
2 many shit drivers out there, people should be made to resit the test after so many years argh need a new job
[cite]Posted By: Talal[/cite]as a driving instructor,
people who beep learners - as if that's going to suddenly spur them into action.
people that drive right up the backside of learners - it won't make them go quicker fuckers
people who block side roads in traffic so you can't join the major road.
people's lack of correct/correctly timed signals.
people that get into the right hand lane at traffic lights then realise that someone in front is turning right (big surprise) and push themselves out.
people that cover crossings.
people that insist on rolling back and forth when stopped on a hill instead of just keeping their bloody feet still at the biting point and the car will stay still.
and many more
2 many shit drivers out there, people should be made to resit the test after so many years
argh need a new job
Just a little thing here...have you ever thought that drivers are maybe sounding their horn at 'you' because you just might have got the learner driver into a poor situation...only a thought, as I seem to remember me doing that at some stage once many years back...i.e. I was annoyed at the instructor 'not' the learner driver.
[cite]Posted By: Talal[/cite]as a driving instructor,
people who beep learners - as if that's going to suddenly spur them into action.
people that drive right up the backside of learners - it won't make them go quicker fuckers
people who block side roads in traffic so you can't join the major road.
people's lack of correct/correctly timed signals.
people that get into the right hand lane at traffic lights then realise that someone in front is turning right (big surprise) and push themselves out.
people that cover crossings.
people that insist on rolling back and forth when stopped on a hill instead of just keeping their bloody feet still at the biting point and the car will stay still.
and many more
2 many shit drivers out there, people should be made to resit the test after so many years
argh need a new job
Driving through Upper Belveredere and Bexleyheath, bloody learners everywhere
[cite]Posted By: Talal[/cite]as a driving instructor,
people who beep learners - as if that's going to suddenly spur them into action.
people that drive right up the backside of learners - it won't make them go quicker fuckers
people who block side roads in traffic so you can't join the major road.
people's lack of correct/correctly timed signals.
people that get into the right hand lane at traffic lights then realise that someone in front is turning right (big surprise) and push themselves out.
people that cover crossings.
people that insist on rolling back and forth when stopped on a hill instead of just keeping their bloody feet still at the biting point and the car will stay still.
and many more
2 many shit drivers out there, people should be made to resit the test after so many years
argh need a new job
Just a little thing here...have you ever thought that drivers are maybe sounding their horn at 'you' because you just might have got the learner driver into a poor situation...only a thought, as I seem to remember me doing that at some stage once many years back...i.e. I was annoyed at the instructor 'not' the learner driver.
not really, don't get them into poor situations that's what my controls are for. At the end of the road a learner on their 2nd or 3rd lesson is not gonna be able to progress at the speed a normal driver would, when they get 'beeped' it just makes them more nervous and more likely to slow things down. It baffles me that people don't get this
Pedestrians who walk on the side of the path with the painted white bicycle (i.e the cycle path) instead of the other side of the white line with the painted white man(i.e where you should freaking be)
No amount of glaring at me is going to make you right; pushchair dog or whatever, just makes you doubly dense.
Grrrr.
Students and day trippers who think it's okay to spend all day on 'our' beach drinking and eating then get up and walk off leaving dozens of Breezer bottles and the remains of their KFC for someone else to clear up. I couldn't count the amount of times I've pulled these ignorant, effing, oxygen thieves up for it. One day I will get a battering for it but it drives me nuts...
[cite]Posted By: Six-a-bag-of-nuts[/cite]Pedestrians who walk on the side of the path with the painted white bicycle (i.e the cycle path) instead of the other side of the white line with the painted white man(i.ewhere you should freaking be)
No amount of glaring at me is going to make you right; pushchair dog or whatever, just makes you doubly dense.
Grrrr.
I hate cyclists but, to be fair, this gets my goat too, because the cyclists have to swerve into the pedestrian bit to avoid the idiots who can't follow a very basic instruction. That's a theme for a lot of these...
Comments
(just kidding)
wannabee gangsters
wannabee geezers
jars that are impossible to open and make you feel like your arm is coming out of its socket
clothes creasing the minute you put on a seat belt
crisp packets getting smaller
people
Some perpetrators even give you a dirty look when you want to sit down and they have their feet up on the very place you need or want to occupy....The f'ing nerve of 'em!!
When and more importantly why did this modern, gut- wrecnhing phenomenon start? Im not talking about people who HAVE to bring the kids into work occasionaly but the ones who deliberatly choose to parade their offspring as some kind of status symbol. Barely a fortnight passes in my place without a young Timmy or toddler Tabitha being paraded around the open plan like some kind of minature show pony. Suddenly every woman in the immediate vicinity are making cooing noises as they dote over these poor bewildered brats....including the Miss Havisham bint who normally shows no emotion or sign of life for the other 364 days of the year.
And then,even worse, you have the slimy bloke from HR who will go over and pander to this circus a) to curry favour if the parading parents in question are somewhat senior in rank or b) even more cringingly in a thinly- veiled attempt to convince the fauining ladies that they are in fact a sensitive guy, who would be great father- material one day (and not the sad, lonely bike saddle- sniffing loser who still lives at home with mother watching re- runs of Heartbeat on UK Gold every night) in a futile attempt to gain some kind of future contact with a lady that does not have staples through her midriff or doesnt require access to braodband.
It somewhat grates. It's nothing to do with the children as they have no choice and probably if they had the awareness of what ma and pa were doing would cringe with embarrassment and require some kind of post- trauma therapy to get over the humiliation it is more the smug, self- satisfied looks plastered across the parent's idiotic grinning faces.
Ive nothing against kids - I was mates with loads of them when i was at school (to pilfer a quote) but this whole practice must cease post haste.
Well done Connie, Julian you have managed to pro- create but please there is no need to do the human equivalent of David Brent bringing his dog to the office as people have been having children for millions of years (or 2000+ if you're religious) and it aint worth distracting me from my internet browsing.
I would also throw in the whole people buying cakes for their birthdays and also the berk sat a few rows behind me speaking loudly in plummy tones to a gaggle of cackling ladies about how "my friends have man bags" and other such Putney/Clapham- esque related sh1te that comes out of his mouth.
Yes, I'm talking about you TM Lewin, DFS and MFI (RIP)
Seems to be an acronym based phenomenon
CAFC Superstore?
wayne sleep....
oh yes and every single speed-bump in swanscombe
It sounds as though you have a sleep disorder, kigelia.
Wayne Sleep and Sleeping Policemen.
That was the initial point I made, but some people are either too thick, or too self righteous to get it. If you take a baby on a long haul flight IT suffers for your lovely holiday. Why is this not seen as socially unacceptable? It is child abuse.
Irritating: drivers that pull out in front of you even though there is nothing for miles behind you, then they drive really, really slowly. And drivers that stop dead at roundabouts even though there is absolutely nothing else in sight anywhere!
I can agree with what Sparrows Lane said about people in queues who wait until they reach the counter to decide what to get and what AFKA said "jokes" about child abuse
but the real biggies for me are not being able to quote from one page to another on Charlton Life and crisp packets being the wrong colour. Cheese & Onion crisps come in green bags and Salt & Vinagar in blue bags. Anything else is just not natural.
The garden hose tap leaks, no matter what I do and sometimes comes off, soaking me!
Quote....'No matter what I do'.....answer....call a plumber!
e.g Women will come up to the car, take forever finding her keys, then once inside the car will check her hair, put some lipstick on, put her seatbelt on and THEN decide to slowly pull away..
people who beep learners - as if that's going to suddenly spur them into action.
people that drive right up the backside of learners - it won't make them go quicker fuckers
people who block side roads in traffic so you can't join the major road.
people's lack of correct/correctly timed signals.
people that get into the right hand lane at traffic lights then realise that someone in front is turning right (big surprise) and push themselves out.
people that cover crossings.
people that insist on rolling back and forth when stopped on a hill instead of just keeping their bloody feet still at the biting point and the car will stay still.
and many more
2 many shit drivers out there, people should be made to resit the test after so many years
argh need a new job
Just a little thing here...have you ever thought that drivers are maybe sounding their horn at 'you' because you just might have got the learner driver into a poor situation...only a thought, as I seem to remember me doing that at some stage once many years back...i.e. I was annoyed at the instructor 'not' the learner driver.
Driving through Upper Belveredere and Bexleyheath, bloody learners everywhere
not really, don't get them into poor situations that's what my controls are for. At the end of the road a learner on their 2nd or 3rd lesson is not gonna be able to progress at the speed a normal driver would, when they get 'beeped' it just makes them more nervous and more likely to slow things down. It baffles me that people don't get this
Here we go :
*Edited due to lack of space*
No amount of glaring at me is going to make you right; pushchair dog or whatever, just makes you doubly dense.
Grrrr.
Nah in living rooms, mates houses, that sort of thing