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Knowing you're getting old - # Number 326

245

Comments

  • MrLargoMrLargo
    You have to get up in the middle of the night for a piss, even though you had one just before you got in bed. After your 4am tinkle, whilst washing your hands in the bathroom basin, you glance into the bathroom mirror and realise that your nasal hair is in urgent need of attention. You then look at the rest of your ugly, haggard old face and realise that you have a small forest growing out of each ear and eyebrows like Norman Lamont.

    I am 31 - why is this happening to me already?!
  • Oliver StreetOliver Street
    Remembering the grotesque own goal by Dave Shipperley in the 1-2 defeat to Orient on 31st March 1972 as you stand there waiting to pee.
  • oohaahmortimeroohaahmortimer
    having a piss and a quick shake and then some dribble still comes out after you've put the old boy back in your pants
  • davydavy
    edited March 2011
    Wanting to Squeeze out a fart but instead squeezing out a turd!
  • paulbaconsarniepaulbaconsarnie
    struggling to remember the last time your team got 3 points.
    it's either dementia or you're charlton.
  • ElthamaddickElthamaddick
    employing people young enough to be your kids !
  • Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    Hope I die before I get old
  • GranpaGranpa
    It's going up the stairs, remembering what you went for, but not doing it because you spotted something else to do.
  • GranpaGranpa
    It's realising that all the people you work with are younger than your kids !
  • ChunesChunes
    edited March 2011
    When trying to relate to a young person, you use the words 'street cred'.

    Weekends aren't for getting drunk, they're for watching countryfile and sorting the garden out.out.
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  • kimbokimbo
    Amazing that this has popped up when i am 49 today and have been told that 50 is the new 40 so officially still in my 30's!
  • ValleyGaryValleyGary
    when you still think young people, or yoof as you call them, still wear their jeans down past their arse to try and look cool.

    This is not mid 90's america.
  • McLovinMcLovin
    You will see some clown dressed like that every day in early 21st Century London. I don't know if they think they look cool or not though.
  • McLovinMcLovin
    I think there's one main thing that really lets you know you're on the back 9 and that's when your criteria for what makes a great bar is no longer that it's full to bursting with braying idiots shouting rubbish at each other about Hollyoaks - in fact it's the opposite suddenly applies, the perfect boozer contains ample seats, good beer, no wait for service while some tosswit with a ridiculous gel filled hairdo tries to pay for three strawberry mojitos half on a debit card half in luncheon vouchers and no bass heavy "music" shat out by a computer.
  • Saga LoutSaga Lout
    When you meet people and they ask "Are you retired?"! I'm 52 FFS!
  • RedmidlandRedmidland
    When you look in the mirror and realise that you now have more than 1 chin to shave!!
  • Penfolds PermPenfolds Perm
    When you discuss with your wife how enjoyable Midsomer Murders was.

    Hangs head in shame.....
  • Oggy RedOggy Red
    [cite]Posted By: kimbo[/cite]Amazing that this has popped up when i am 49 today and have been told that 50 is the new 40 so officially still in my 30's!


    Brilliant, Kimbo.

    Happy Birthday!
  • RedmidlandRedmidland
    edited March 2011
    .
  • RedmidlandRedmidland
    [cite]Posted By: kimbo[/cite]Amazing that this has popped up when i am 49 today and have been told that 50 is the new 40 so officially still in my 30's!


    If you can still get it to 'pop up' when your 49 then you are indeed sir still in your 30's!!

    Happy birthday!!
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  • Oggy RedOggy Red
    I'll think you'll find Kimbo is a lady, RedMid ....!
  • GreenieGreenie
    [cite]Posted By: Oggy Red[/cite]I'll think you'll find Kimbo is a lady, RedMid ....!

    When you can't tell male from female!!
  • StefcoStefco
    White hairs in weird places.
  • Addick AddictAddick Addict
    When you remember seeing the grandfather of a current pro footballer playing.
  • RossRoss
    As a 22 year old I find myself moaning about how Curly Wurlys have gone from 15p to 23p, yet have decreased in size. And Cadbury's Animals have less chocolate on now than when I was a kid.
  • Friend Or DefoeFriend Or Defoe
    [cite]Posted By: Ross[/cite]As a 22 year old I find myself moaning about how Curly Wurlys have gone from 15p to 23p, yet have decreased in size. And Cadbury's Animals have less chocolate on now than when I was a kid.
    You're not the only one!
  • davydavy
    Whenever im out on a piss up my first prefered pub is always an old mans pub because you can always get served quickly. There are no young idiots asking for mojitos or cocktails just good honest ale. There is nothing worse than waiting 30 mins to be served whilst stone cold sobre! Im 29 by the way......
  • charente addickcharente addick
    When you look at Daphne from Eggheads and think 'there's something about you woman. if I was 10 years younger I'd........'
    '
  • March51March51
    when a 'Would ya?' becomes a 'Can ya?'.
  • Oggy RedOggy Red
    [cite]Posted By: March51[/cite]when a 'Would ya?' becomes a 'Can ya?'.

    When you prefer to talk about trams and trains, rather than totty?
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