Had another bad day, but trust Me, that message is so lovely, think its the 1st time I've smiled today.
Mandys plan was to let us use the flat whilst/until we got our own place...then its a "Valley Express" from Ringwood to SE7, with a bar on it ! (1st class of course !!).
As I said at the beginning of the thread, Should have done it years ago, now the chance is there its the wrong time for Sandra, Mum Dad, Buster & Me (Did you know we've got a puppy ? ;-0 )
And the rest ormy. 4,100 straight train, 4,700 with travelcard
Trainspotter !!
Seriously,I don't know you personally, MOG & reading all the above posts, wish I did . I really feel for you - it must be the hardest decision you've had to take in your life.
Both my & hubby's Mum's are 91 yrs young and widows. Hubby's unfortunately has dementia and is in a care home in Higham , so not too far away but even so, visiting isn't easy with his work, other family stuff, football etc . We're just happy that she's fed & watered , warm & safe.
My Mum on the other hand is all there up top but has little sight and failing hearing making conversation difficult . She has been living with us for the past couple of years and is no trouble...at the moment. However, there may come a time when her mental or physical state makes it impossible for us to cope with her here & we shall have to seek outside help. I am no martyr...And of course we haven't tracked down the elixir of youth ourselves ( yet!) And we're still able to take a week's holiday at a time without too many concerns.But who knows what's round the corner ?
What I'm struggling to say is that you do the best you can , when you can but at the end of the day, you have to retain an element of selfishness in order to keep your sanity- especially if you are prone to depression/anxiety as I have been in the past. I always need "something to look forward to " which currently means seeing the grandkids regularly, 2 or 3 single weeks' breaks a year and of course my Charlton fix ( plus a few Kent matches in the close season) Without those , I would indeed be MOF !
I don't envy you having to make some heartrending decisions but as others have said, don't beat yourself up. In situations where I can't seem to make up my mind, I tend to make 2 lists ...one with all the negatives and the other with all the positives of deciding one way or the other. It's hard being honest with yourself but I find it does help.
Good luck to you & your Sandra in whatever you decide .
Well puppy in a flat (especially a different one) is not a good idea so that's decision made :-p
With all seriousness though, the fact that it was a dilemma for me would mean it's not the right move, I am a great believer that everything happens for a reason and when the opportunity arises and the time is right you will know and won't need to ask.
Best of luck in whatever you do, now and in the future :-))
MOG, I moved away from London in late 1994 to Northampton with my work, which was a tough decision for me at the time because at the start of that year I'd lost my brother in an accident and I felt some guilt for leaving behind my parents (to whom I lived fairly local), considering that they had lost one son and the other was moving quite a distance away (but only an hour and halfs drive though!!). However, at the time it was also a case of needs must, what with facing redundancy if I hadn't moved and given the uncertain future, I took the plunge and made a fresh start in the Midlands.
There were times during the first couple of years that I felt I'd done a wrong'un, what with adjusting to local life, finding it difficult to get out socially due to too much working and also missing my London friends, whom in their early twenties, were leading an active social life and I was missing out on all the fun! I think my parents just accepted my moving away, but I still don't know what they really felt about it at the time.
It soon picked up for me though, work has remained steady despite a couple of redundancy scares, made new friends locally, played for local football teams, and I'm still in contact with some of my oldest friends from London. I also now have a young family; the kids go to school locally in the village and when I make my (now) infrequent trips back through the blackwall tunnel to see my mum (dad died almost 11 years ago now), friends, or charlton, I'm quite glad that I'm not bringing up my kids in mad, bad, south east London!
And the rest ormy. 4,100 straight train, 4,700 with travelcard
Battle to London train only is about £3940. I need to get to Canary Wharf however so train to Lewisham is £3672 plus DLR so altogether about £4100. With two of us doing it that's about £ 8k in train fares. Bloody good job we won't have a mortgage !! Only plan to do it for about another seven years before raiding the pension pot and semi retiring.
And the rest ormy. 4,100 straight train, 4,700 with travelcard
Battle to London train only is about £3940. I need to get to Canary Wharf however so train to Lewisham is £3672 plus DLR so altogether about £4100. With two of us doing it that's about £ 8k in train fares. Bloody good job we won't have a mortgage !! Only plan to do it for about another seven years before raiding the pension pot and semi retiring.
Those prices, considering the state of the service, are quite literally staggering. They must be some of the most expensive train services in the world.
Yes they are - we really do get shafted living down south and commuting. I went to Faversham on Sunday and whitstable afterwards. Spent a bit of time looking in the estate agents windows.... what you can buy for your money down there in comparison to SE7 is staggering, I saw a beautiful 4 bed detached house for 230. So i went back and looked at the fares, 390 a month without tube. I suppose my mortgage would be far less but i begrudge paying that sort of money on fares.
I currently pay 70 quid a month. Now that is nice.
Comments
Trainspotter !!
Seriously,I don't know you personally, MOG & reading all the above posts, wish I did . I really feel for you - it must be the hardest decision you've had to take in your life.
Both my & hubby's Mum's are 91 yrs young and widows. Hubby's unfortunately has dementia and is in a care home in Higham , so not too far away but even so, visiting isn't easy with his work, other family stuff, football etc . We're just happy that she's fed & watered , warm & safe.
My Mum on the other hand is all there up top but has little sight and failing hearing making conversation difficult . She has been living with us for the past couple of years and is no trouble...at the moment. However, there may come a time when her mental or physical state makes it impossible for us to cope with her here & we shall have to seek outside help. I am no martyr...And of course we haven't tracked down the elixir of youth ourselves ( yet!) And we're still able to take a week's holiday at a time without too many concerns.But who knows what's round the corner ?
What I'm struggling to say is that you do the best you can , when you can but at the end of the day, you have to retain an element of selfishness in order to keep your sanity- especially if you are prone to depression/anxiety as I have been in the past. I always need "something to look forward to " which currently means seeing the grandkids regularly, 2 or 3 single weeks' breaks a year and of course my Charlton fix ( plus a few Kent matches in the close season) Without those , I would indeed be MOF !
I don't envy you having to make some heartrending decisions but as others have said, don't beat yourself up. In situations where I can't seem to make up my mind, I tend to make 2 lists ...one with all the negatives and the other with all the positives of deciding one way or the other. It's hard being honest with yourself but I find it does help.
Good luck to you & your Sandra in whatever you decide .
There were times during the first couple of years that I felt I'd done a wrong'un, what with adjusting to local life, finding it difficult to get out socially due to too much working and also missing my London friends, whom in their early twenties, were leading an active social life and I was missing out on all the fun! I think my parents just accepted my moving away, but I still don't know what they really felt about it at the time.
It soon picked up for me though, work has remained steady despite a couple of redundancy scares, made new friends locally, played for local football teams, and I'm still in contact with some of my oldest friends from London. I also now have a young family; the kids go to school locally in the village and when I make my (now) infrequent trips back through the blackwall tunnel to see my mum (dad died almost 11 years ago now), friends, or charlton, I'm quite glad that I'm not bringing up my kids in mad, bad, south east London!
All the best with whatever you decide.
Battle to London train only is about £3940. I need to get to Canary Wharf however so train to Lewisham is £3672 plus DLR so altogether about £4100. With two of us doing it that's about £ 8k in train fares. Bloody good job we won't have a mortgage !! Only plan to do it for about another seven years before raiding the pension pot and semi retiring.
Those prices, considering the state of the service, are quite literally staggering. They must be some of the most expensive train services in the world.
I currently pay 70 quid a month. Now that is nice.
Go through Plaayer for train tickets gets good rates............
I dont know if thats a joke bourne or something?