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'Fundamentally'

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    Mendonca In AsdasMendonca In Asdas
    In my experience 'leave it with me' means 'I have no interest in helping you, I just want you to stop talking to me'.

    I also despise 'going forward' being put on the end of every sentence in a meeting
    I like the 'leave it with me approach' i'll have to start using that one... leave it with me.. ;-0
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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    Umm..

    .. didn't we do this a while ago?

    http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/37652/corporate-life/p1

    Let's not re-invent the wheel, eh, guys?
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    Saga LoutSaga Lout
    Umm.. .. didn't we do this a while ago? http://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/37652/corporate-life/p1 Let's not re-invent the wheel, eh, guys?


    Carly Burn was just taking a greenfield approach to the problem. Process renewal, as it were.

    I used to work for a guy who used "clearly" to start a lot of sentences - most of the time, it was far from clear!

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    MacronateMacronate

    24/7.

    Anybody who uses "finger quotes".

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    AddicktedAddickted
    Big Hairy Goals is our latest.......

    Whatever.
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    RodneyCharltonTrottaRodneyCharltonTrotta

    Cant go to work nowdays without thinking of "The Office" everytime someone comes out with this sort of blurb. Gervais nailed it.

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    SilentAddickSilentAddick
    I get an impulse to shout "Liar!" when I hear "... to be honest with you..."  
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    carly burncarly burn

    ??????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

    "You really can't fail with compatible reciprocal resources."                                  ?

    "This is no time to bite the bullet with our parallel strategic matrix approaches."    ?

    "We need to cascade memos about our homogenised relative alignment."           ?

    ?   ?    ?   ?????????????????????????????????????????  ?   ?   ?   ?   ?  ?   ?
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    Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    Big Hairy Goals is our latest.......


    Whatever.
    "Big hairy audacious goals" was what I was taught
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    JorgeCostaJorgeCosta
    People who use "clearly" when it patently isn't clear at all.

    "You'll be aware that ..." or its variant "Of course, you'll know that ..."- no I bloody don't so stop trying to make me look stupid.  

    "Heads up" used as a noun, normally by someone whose head's up their own arse.


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    siblerssiblers
    Not quite the same as annoying work sayings, but being called a client by your hairdresser. Pretentious nonsense.
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    Saga LoutSaga Lout
    Not quite the same as annoying work sayings, but being called a client by your hairdresser. Pretentious nonsense.
    Don't get me started! When did "passengers" become "customers" on the railways?!
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    IdleHansIdleHans
    Slightly tangential, but I had to leave a room once when my boss, on the subject of changes in the TV advertising market, used the phrase (deadpan) "digital penetration".


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    MortimerwasgodMortimerwasgod
    'Big ticket' items are all we talk about in meetings, what is a big ticket, i get an image of a 40ft season ticket booklet?!
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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    edited October 2011

    I'm delighted that 'paradigm shift' seems to have run its course, but more than a little worried that it has been replaced by 'quantum leap'.

    Interesting to note that all guidelines, processes and 'ways of working' need periodically to be 'refreshed' (ideally pronounced .. refraaashed).

    And my new, all-time favourite ...."Sorry, in meet.  Catch up later?"

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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    edited October 2011

    Oh, forgot to mention ...

    ... does anyone else have to 'escalate issues'?  According to the 80/20 rule anyway.

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    thai malaysia addickthai malaysia addick
    People who use "clearly" when it patently isn't clear at all.

    "You'll be aware that ..." or its variant "Of course, you'll know that ..."- no I bloody don't so stop trying to make me look stupid.  

    "Heads up" used as a noun, normally by someone whose head's up their own arse.


    The lady who used to run my Malaysian office greeted me one morning with the words "Can I quickly give you a heads up?" It didnt sound right.
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    Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    edited October 2011
    "metrics" - What was wrong with targets/measures?   (although I plead guilty to using KPIs)
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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    "metrics" - What was wrong with targets/measures?   (although I plead guilty to using KPIs)
    That's just your checklist mentality, Henry. You're probably template-driven as well.

    I know I am.
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    Off_itOff_it
    Not quite the same as annoying work sayings, but being called a client by your hairdresser. Pretentious nonsense.
    Don't get me started! When did "passengers" become "customers" on the railways?!
    At least with the railways you have some degree of choice.

    It's when the taxman starts referring to "customers" that really f**ks me off - like there's any choice involved in where I chose to provide my "custom" in that!
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    Saga LoutSaga Lout
    Couldn't agree more - we're signing from the same hymn sheet Off_it!
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    thai malaysia addickthai malaysia addick
    "metrics" - What was wrong with targets/measures?   (although I plead guilty to using KPIs)
    Keep planning inanely?
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    Off_itOff_it
    Couldn't agree more - we're signing from the same hymn sheet Off_it!
    I'd start worrying if I was you then mate - I'm mental!
    ;o)
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    Henry IrvingHenry Irving
    "metrics" - What was wrong with targets/measures?   (although I plead guilty to using KPIs)
    That's just your checklist mentality, Henry. You're probably template-driven as well.

    I know I am.
    Depends on which of my Belbin Hats I'm wearing

    As part of what I do is auditing and another bit assessing I need that process mapping element  in my skills set.   : - )
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    Off_itOff_it
    synergies
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    dabosdabos
    People overusing "essentially" pisses me off

    Essentially, it's put at the beginning of a sentence to allude that the person is dumbing down what they're about to say. It's bloody annoying.
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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    synergies
    Important for 'connecting' with colleagues.

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    Dave RuddDave Rudd
    Anyone else wake up in a cold sweat when thinking about 'The Shadow of the Leader'?
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    Saga LoutSaga Lout
    Couldn't agree more - we're signing from the same hymn sheet Off_it!
    I'd start worrying if I was you then mate - I'm mental!
    ;o)
    What's happening? Why are those guys in white coats coming towards me with that strange jacket? Who's monitoring this site?!
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    Stuart_the_RedStuart_the_Red

    Type Bullshit Bingo as a search in Google Pictures and start playing, it will definitely liven up any meetings.

     

    I used to work for a German company that worked for the European Union in all the EU languages and our internal language was English. Those meetings were especially good for playing Bullshit Bingo. 

     

     

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