They all go into the dressing rooms, a select a player per cubicle, and the winning team is the one that does the smelliest poos. A fart would be classed as a miss.
They all go into the dressing rooms, a select a player per cubicle, and the winning team is the one that does the smelliest poos. A fart would be classed as a miss.
Is there the available smellometer technology to measure the stink and ensure that stinkiest prevails ?
I was in a cafe in Frankfurt a few years ago after a particularly heavy session the night before. Went for a poo. In the toilet there was no urinal just a single cubicle. Curled a, what can only be described as putrid one down (it even made me gag) flushed and went outside to the sink. As I was washing my hands a big burly German crashed through the door talking loudly on his phone. He ran into the cubicle slammed the door and after a brief pause, stopped his conversation and shouted "Mein Gotte" at the top of his voice. I was pissing myself.
Well, I agree with Sepp on this one. Football is a team sport, so to decide a game in a one-on-one situation can't be ideal. Sportsmen who relish one-on-one situations go into sports like tennis or snooker.
The problem is finding something better. Good luck with that Franz!
line up sun beds all over the pitch. all the players are in the Home and Away dressing rooms with a towel in their hand. ref blows his whistle and they're off. that would end the German dominanc......
In a previous office I worked in, it was always a bad sign as you were going to the toilet, to see somebody you didn't recognise from another floor coming out. Just got caught out the once, it was like hitting a putrid wall of smell.
If the game is level after Extra time the players should summon their WAGs down from the stands who would then parade round and be judged by Blatter et al.
England would still lose but at least this time it would be the WAG with the bag over her head in the resultant Pizza Hut advert.
I think if you scrapped penalty shoot-outs and just said it's golden goal and we play until someone scores then you'd actually see less extra time than you do currently. I don't think you'd see endless extra time being played. The teams would have to attack, sitting back and waiting for penalties obviously wouldn't be an option, and just sitting back and hoping for a break would be very very risky.
Even if we just said that is for finals only (much like in tennis, it's only the last set of a grand-slam that is played until a clear victory), just so whole tournaments/competitions aren't decided by the luck of a penalty shoot-out.
And I don't think it's just about the CL final that this has come up now. They were saying during the game that English teams have been involved in penalty shoot-outs in Europe on 11 occasions, and the only English team to lose a penalty shoot is Chelsea, twice, both against English opposition. So when it comes to club football at least, English clubs are pretty much unbeatable.
Penalty shoot-outs are now part and parcel with football!! They are part of the game and getting rid of them would make the game somewhat more boring. They tend to liven up boring games.
I'd like to see a situation where instead of a penalty, the "attacking team" have one player take a corner, knocking it into the box to a team mate who has only 1 touch to try to covert it and the keeper must stay on his line. That would be fun..................
It could be argued that penalty shoot-outs make games more boring by allowing inferior teams to sit back and defend and then take their chance with penalties. Forcing the teams to play until someone wins would force both teams to try and win.
IMO penalty shoot outs are fckin brilliant and the most tense exciting conclusion to a game. If you can't take the heat get out the kitchen. £100000 a week and you can't take a pressure pen.
I have long thought it is worth trying having the penalties BEFORE extra-time - then the game is decided in open play - if it's level on goals by the end then the shoot-out winners have won the game.
Would you not have the problem of the winners of the penalties just sitting back for 30 mins?
If that happened, the other team would change their tactics accordingly.
Could end up as 16 players in the penalty box every time a cross comes in, but that could be exciting as well...
in theory it should be similar to the situation of a team winning courtesy of away-goals after an hour of the 2nd leg.
I'd like to see a situation where instead of a penalty, the "attacking team" have one player take a corner, knocking it into the box to a team mate who has only 1 touch to try to covert it and the keeper must stay on his line. That would be fun..................
Queue a pea-roller into the six yard box and a tap in. Unless you are Rob Earnshaw of course.
I like pens and IMO they are the only way to end a game that's in stalemate. FIFA need to look at format of extra time, if they get that right then penalties would become less frequent.
They tried Golden Goal and it didn't really work. I think you need to reduce the players by 3 or 4. Don't see how you can reduce it by more than that otherwise it just becomes 5 a side nonsense.
Words cannot describe the level of utter contempt I feel for this man. He has absolutely zero credibility. How he kept his job after the racism scandal is beyond me, but it probably points to the fact that his cronies are as corrupt as he is. The sooner he resigns, the better. Although I doubt whether his successor will be any better.
Totally agree. I think it would have been different if Chelsea had lost. Didn't he propose penalties to settle drawn world cup group games a few years back?? He's out of control.
Agree with a lot of the points. There's something wrong with the penalty shoot out as decider, but it makes for great viewing. Replays just don't fit in now with the amount of football being played and TV controlling it. The most replays in the FA cup was 6!! 1971/2 qualifying rounds: Alvechurch and Oxford City. Remember a Everton v Villa League cup game going on a bit in the 70s also. Great stuff but couldn't happen today.
Until recently all domestic games were decided with replays. The only games that were settled with penalty shoot-outs were European games and internationals. This made them very exciting and rare. Now there are penalty shoot-outs in just about every round of every cup competition.
I love a penalty shoot-out, but apart from finals (and I'm including the International tournaments) and playoff semis the outcome is meaningless. With another three or four rounds in the competition they mean very little - especially if the team is not really expected to win it.
As for an alternative, the football authorities have been looking for one for years - I don't think there is a better way of settling it.
The penalty shoot-out before the game does, in my view, increase the chances of one team defending where as they might not have done. In International tournaments where one side is out matched they defend the whole game hoping to snatch a goal, but will take penalties if they have to. If they win the shoot-out before the game then it changes very little, but if they lose it then the much better side starts the game with a goal advantage. This would, in my opinion be a disaster. Expecting someone like Republic of Ireland to break down a German team that start with as good as a one goal lead would spoil the whole thing, for me.
Penalties are part of the game. Football is about finding the back of the net even if you feel hard done by because you drew a game where you had the most chances to score.
It can be cruel but everyone knows at the start of the match, if the game is equal on goals after extra time then it's a penalty shoot-out.
Everyone loves pens for the drama, tension and glory.
If the game is level after Extra time the players should summon their WAGs down from the stands who would then parade round and be judged by Blatter et al.
England would still lose but at least this time it would be the WAG with the bag over her head in the resultant Pizza Hut advert.
Comments
The problem is finding something better. Good luck with that Franz!
You're right about pens during a game though - I wouldn't want to see that changed.
If the game is level after Extra time the players should summon their WAGs down from the stands who would then parade round and be judged by Blatter et al.
England would still lose but at least this time it would be the WAG with the bag over her head in the resultant Pizza Hut advert.
This will probably happen by 2018.
Even if we just said that is for finals only (much like in tennis, it's only the last set of a grand-slam that is played until a clear victory), just so whole tournaments/competitions aren't decided by the luck of a penalty shoot-out.
And I don't think it's just about the CL final that this has come up now. They were saying during the game that English teams have been involved in penalty shoot-outs in Europe on 11 occasions, and the only English team to lose a penalty shoot is Chelsea, twice, both against English opposition. So when it comes to club football at least, English clubs are pretty much unbeatable.
Used to have them all the time. Another set of tickets sold, more TV money, OK some fans might be messed about but who cares about them.
£100000 a week and you can't take a pressure pen.
I like pens and IMO they are the only way to end a game that's in stalemate. FIFA need to look at format of extra time, if they get that right then penalties would become less frequent.
They tried Golden Goal and it didn't really work. I think you need to reduce the players by 3 or 4. Don't see how you can reduce it by more than that otherwise it just becomes 5 a side nonsense.
Agree with a lot of the points. There's something wrong with the penalty shoot out as decider, but it makes for great viewing.
Replays just don't fit in now with the amount of football being played and TV controlling it. The most replays in the FA cup was 6!! 1971/2 qualifying rounds: Alvechurch and Oxford City. Remember a Everton v Villa League cup game going on a bit in the 70s also. Great stuff but couldn't happen today.
I love a penalty shoot-out, but apart from finals (and I'm including the International tournaments) and playoff semis the outcome is meaningless. With another three or four rounds in the competition they mean very little - especially if the team is not really expected to win it.
As for an alternative, the football authorities have been looking for one for years - I don't think there is a better way of settling it.
The penalty shoot-out before the game does, in my view, increase the chances of one team defending where as they might not have done. In International tournaments where one side is out matched they defend the whole game hoping to snatch a goal, but will take penalties if they have to. If they win the shoot-out before the game then it changes very little, but if they lose it then the much better side starts the game with a goal advantage. This would, in my opinion be a disaster. Expecting someone like Republic of Ireland to break down a German team that start with as good as a one goal lead would spoil the whole thing, for me.
When I was a kid playing in k'o touraments draws were decided by the number of corners gained by each team ..
It can be cruel but everyone knows at the start of the match, if the game is equal on goals after extra time then it's a penalty shoot-out.
Everyone loves pens for the drama, tension and glory.
Tennis can go on forever.