I was out with a mate this weekend in town and he seemed quieter than normal and he kept looking behind my shoulder. I turned around and saw a group of chavy types walking towards us. They were a bit drunk and shouting at each other but as far as I could tell, they weren't up to any trouble.
As they passed us my friend looked like he would pass out, he was borderline having a panic attack about them. He eventually told me that he feels this all the time and is scared he will get attacked/ mugged most days, especially when he is on a train or the tube.
I've never really felt unsafe in London, I have wondered into some areas or been in a few situations where I felt uneasy but not a daily occurrence by any means. I am not a fighter at all ( never been in a fight) and I know I would get battered if I tried, so I keep myself to myself and don't look for it.
I tried to tell him that he was overreacting and London was a safe place but he is convinced it isn't. I suggested maybe some cognitive therapy or something could help but he didn't go for it. Really felt a bit sorry for him as he was clearly not enjoying himself.
Was he overreacting to how bad London is or am I naive? As far as I can see and I grew up in lewisham, if you don't go looking for it and use a bit of common sense you should be fine, or have I got it wrong? How safe do you feel?
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As for London being unsafe i went backpacking in SE Asia and the first time i felt slightly vulnerable at all was back on the London Underground.
Certainly feel safer in London than i did in Miami
My motto is live & let live - just go on your way & if you don't get involved, don't cuase any trouble then you will probably be ok. I think your mate needs to get things into perspective and sort himself out - he'll more likely get into trouble by keeping looking back at them rather than just ignoring them.......
Me and my mates seem to have loads of little incidents in and around London over the past two years, and it always seems as though its because we are quite young and vulnerable.
Put it this way, by the time i'd turned 16 i had been mugged in Upminster and my best mate had been mugged at knife point in Hornchurch. Both of us were on our own on those occasions and we'd been both been done by two kids who were older than us.
They're two normal towns, both proving that anything can happen anywhere.
Another group of the chav breed then threatened us in trafalgar square last year for being on 'their manor', to which we politely told them to do one and learn to speak like their born in London, not Kingston.
In the past year though in Romford we seem to have found ourselves in trouble more than ever.
Another close mate was attacked with his cousin there by 10 black youths. They never took anything or justified why they did it, was just an unprovoked attack. He had his face completely ruined, was away from school for about 3 weeks, had to have countless operations and now has a plate permanently in his jaw.
Another time this March on results day we were out again. And another group of us were attacked after being randomly challenged outside a nightclub. Mate of mine was hit round the head with a crow bar, and another had to have his face sorted out with countless operations in the coming weeks.
These are just a few of the things i've known to have happen in the areas where i live. All much safer places than some of the inner city places and where i used to live in Ilford, but in a way it makes you much more blind to the fact that there is always potential for something bad to go wrong.
People will say why do you bother going these areas, but simply we're not the type to ever go looking for trouble, just average boys living a normal life.
I'd hate to ever be in a position where i'm scared to go out, and to be honest none of those incident has ever affected us because we're just not the type to let ourselves be overly concerned by past experiences, just looking to have a good time on nights out.
I think that being around 18/19/20 and male, is always going to mean we're in for more trouble than most other groups of society.
I don't want to play the racial card, but i think its only fair that i point out that in all those incidents i've mentioned and can think off, that theres only ever been one white person carrying out the attack, and that was my mate who was threatened with a knife outside Mcdonalds in Hornchurch.
I do think that London has become a victim of its increasing diversity in terms of crime rates, and that theres still definitely racial tension between young people of different cultures.
Most of us can get along perfectly in normal life, but i've always felt more vulnerable in areas where people of different cultures mix heavily, and i don't know why but especially at night in/around London theres more friction and we've had to learn to become more aware of who is around us.
you can be anywhere in the world and if you luck runs out and someone decides to stick a knife in ya back then there is f**k all you can do about it!
dont let fear grab hold of ya, just get on with living my old cocka!
keep'em peeled and dont have nightmares ;~)
Never had anything serious happen to me or friends touch wood but had some close calls/handbags etc
Only thing is, most young 'uns want to pull a blade at every chance whereas the majority of the time in a pub or at football...you'd end up with a kicking at worse.
One reason may be that as you get older, you get a bit wiser and learn to see the warning signs and avoid trouble before it happens. Sorry to hear about your grief, Folev, just try and learn what lessons you can from what happened to you and your mates - if it means avoiding a certain type of person, then so be it. All we can ever do is try to learn from our experiences in life. However, most people, whatever they look like, are OK, so you need to keep things in proportion. There is no need to be scared - it may be that your mate is just having a hard time mentally; he might well need to talk to professional people about it who can help (they will have seen it all before).
However, one thing I learned early in life, is that someone who looks scared will attract a lot of trouble. Acting like a victim will increase your chances of being one. I know that it's easier said than done, but try to look and act confident (your body language sends out a lot of signals to others) - that way a lot of the street vermin that look for easy targets will think twice before having a pop; they won't want to take on targets that look problematic. It might be easier for me, because I'm a big bloke, but it works just as well for anyone. Good luck out there and stay safe.
Only time i have been a "victim" (attempted)was 6 doors away from my own hse at 6.30 in the morning in day light.
Mind you, back then you were just teased or humiliated or chased or at worst you got a smack in the mouth.
Now they seem to want to kick you unconscious or pull out a knife.
Like Seth, I worry for my 19 year old son
But i fear for someone. My fiancé gets scared on nights out in London, I'd protect her with my life and she knows it. I think that's a part of her fear.
It is ridiculous that after 7pm on a Friday/weekend all the knob heads come out, all game for a bit of fisticuffs. In the last two years I had my nose broken at a new years party and then I got attacked by two fellas on my own as they wanted my phone... Funny a years training does. Held them both until the police came, felt like hours but was apparently 5 mins from when the CCTV showed it kicking off to the police arrival. My new buddies got 6 and 9 months respectively thanks to the CCTV evidence.
Jiu Jitsu teaches safe incapacitating of your opponent. Failing that it gives you the focus to at least cause delay while you peg it to some where safe.
I have to go with the former as the latter would see me caught in seconds!
Lovely stuff Geoff.
If you walk like a big Lion then you will be attacked by fools who want to score points and knock you down! If you walk like a frightened lamb then everyone will have a pop at you! If you walk like a goat then the big tough guys won't have a go cos there's not much to gain but a lot to lose and the people who might attack the weakest people (the lamb) will think twice cos a goat looks like it might hurt! So there you have it people, 'walk like a goat'!
You have to be a bit wary on a night in the centre because the city attracts a lot of stag and hen do's, especially Geordies. If the races are on it can get tasty but I don't go out much now anyway, would rather stay in with the missus, DVD and a takeaway.
Working in a maximum security prison I should, I guess, feel unsafe but I don't. I've seen some pretty disturbing stuff in my time, intervened in gang fights and attended near riots but I don't feel under threat when I'm on the landings. It helps that the prisoners are content to squabble amongst themselves rather than bother staff but the threat of disorder is always there.
Like others have said though I fret about those I know. My good lady when she's out and perhaps more so my daughter who has just started living her life from under the watchful eyes of her mum and me. She's off to University in September so that will be a worry for sure especially as I know all too well exactly what kind of creatures are out there. I've drummed it into her the dangers out there and she's not a daft kid so I'm not too unduly worried but I'll still be dreading the phone call in the middle of the night.
Anyway, don't have nightmares.