My son is now 11 and is starting to want indepedance, this summer holiday, he wants to go Bromley and into Orpington. I know I did at his age but I am shit scared for him.
can't say I've ever felt threatened but if I see any chance of trouble I would make sure to get well out of the way. Problem is you could wander around dodgy areas all the time and be ok and then find yourself attacked by some madman in Tescos. Generally though if you want trouble you can find it but keep yourself to yourself and you will be ok.
scary but true, saw a nutter who must have been on something kick off in a Mcdonalds in Holland last week. Throwing innocent peoples food behind the counter and tried to throw a chair throw the window. Missed the outcome as I decided to turn my meal into a takeaway!
can't say I've ever felt threatened but if I see any chance of trouble I would make sure to get well out of the way. Problem is you could wander around dodgy areas all the time and be ok and then find yourself attacked by some madman in Tescos. Generally though if you want trouble you can find it but keep yourself to yourself and you will be ok.
scary but true, saw a nutter who must have been on something kick off in a Mcdonalds in Holland last week. Throwing innocent peoples food behind the counter and tried to throw a chair throw the window. Missed the outcome as I decided to turn my meal into a takeaway!
Have had more trouble outside our own front door (as mentioned in other threads) than on trips to london. That said we would avoid any trouble spots. Was outside a hotel in brighton at 5am on sat morning and for the first hand I witnessed modern culture with my own eyes. Glad I'm old and past it. Got a 15 year old daughter she has never been allowed to wonder the streets and fortunately shows no interest in doing so (at the moment).
I haven't felt scared in London since 4 years ago when I was 12 and some bloke tried to mug me and I simply ran away. Since then I've sort of felt like I can get out of a tight situation like that even though thats the one and only time I've been part of an attempted mugging and I guess I'll feel this away until something bad happens to me.
Never really felt unsafe in any environment not that I am a hard bastd or anything
I know that there are people who would knock me over in a heart beat and I know there are others I would knock over
I don't go looking for trouble and I am quite savy about situations before they unfold and I can get out of them if I want too as I see them early enough
I have walked home to Enfield through 7 sisters and rotten ham at 3 In the morning and not just through the high street the mrs goes mental but I think sometimes being a lump and walking with purpose would put some off tbh
I have encountered a few issues on the trains from Liverpool street to Enfield and considering the stations it passes through its not surprising
I had a couple of young hoodies with a staff try to intimidate me and out loud talk to people on the phone about how they were going to jack this fat guy on the Train
I laughed very loud and told them I was game if they wr and that he better say good bye to his staff as of they try it I will send the dogs back legs inTo its heart
In the camp of be confident walk and act like you can hold yourself but don't do it drunk get a cab
Only once have I felt really scared out and about and that was with two men in their thirties maybe forties who kicked off with me literally outside my house. My housemate had it on his toes and left me to either follow him and show the two coked up drunks the house to smash up or to stand my ground. Pissed, I would not have thought twice. Sober different story. As luck, and I mean luck, would have it one aimless right cross dropped the younger one and a bit of aggressive shouting scared the other one off. This was a school night too! Proper bricked it for the next few nights on guard duty indoors as these two saw my car and what house I lived in. This was a couple of years ago I've seen one of them since in asda speaking like the most polite man in the world with a couple of angelic looking kids in tow (this is sarcasm).
Neighbours didn't come and help nor did my housemate so I wasn't left with much choice but I would absolutely advise against doing this again, especially on your own doorstep.
In London though I feel safe, as long as you keep the radar and steer clear of say, stoke newington after lunchtime you should be all gravy
Yeh Tom, I think if you're reasonably aware of your surroundings you'll be unlucky to get into something. If you go lurching around the place p*****d or stoned on whatever you're more likely to get into something, more worryingly if you signal anxiety every time you go past a bunch of lads you're more likely to attract attention you don't want. You're also more likely to "feel" that you've been in a dangerous situation when you haven't and therefore build up a perception that somehow these dangerous situations are all around and regular occurences.
I'm a London cabbie and work nights and See all sorts of stuff going on but Honestly haven't seen that much trouble in 3 years in job . Ns never had ounce of trouble in Cab.
More worried about the Missus coming home from work than myself.
Only thing is, most young 'uns want to pull a blade at every chance whereas the majority of the time in a pub or at football...you'd end up with a kicking at worse.
Tell her to get a taxi I'm available most nights lol
martial arts wont stop you getting plunged,the amount of waffle i hear from people who do them who think they can stave off attacks. we are infested with knife merchants sadly
Make you right there. Many years ago I went on a personal safety course run by Essex police, they taught us two things: 1. Think ahead - do everything possible not to make yourself a victim in the first place (avoid dodgy areas, travel in pairs, never run your car on empty, don't advertise the fact that you are wearing/carrying anything expensive and loads more little tips that I've probably forgotten). 2. If you get into trouble try to talk your way out of it, if that fails create a distraction an run like the wind.
They said that there were three no-nos that people say they'd do before attending the course. They strongly advised against them all: 1. "I'd punch them with my keys in my hand". Bad error because if your assailant gets your keys you've lost your safe haven. 2. "I'd kick him in the balls" (popular with the ladies apparently). Bad error because most people can't kick hard enough, high enough and quickly enough. The most likely outcome is that your assailant will counter attack causing you to lose your balance. Once you're on the ground you've had it. 3. "I'd poke him in the eyes". Bad error because the thought of potentially blinding someone is something so abhorrent to most people that they just can't do it in reality and end up freezing, no matter what they said before-hand.
No London is not safe. Just like any city especially a capitol. But a bit of trouble, or the fear of it shouldn't ruin your life. If it happens it happens so be it. And a bit of confidence go's a long way to preventing it.
I worked and socialised in London for nearly forty years and in all that time was neither involved in nor saw any trouble. Consequently I don't have any fear about walking around anywhere in central London. But then I'm nearly sixty years old and don't frequent night clubs any more. I spent a number of years working in the Criminal Injuries Compensation Authority and that taught me (a) that violence is most commonly carried out by young men on other young men and (b) how dangerous pubs and clubs have become and how often violence can flare up over nothing, not just in the clubs but in the streets and kebab/burger shops outside. There is violence in all cities but London is generally regarded as one of the safest cities in the world.
I have had two good friends seriously assaulted and both ended up in coma's, one was bashed up in Pompey by some local thugs and the other in York by two muggers.
I have never felt that unsafe in London, every time I go back it seems very safe because there are so many people around the place and you are rarely alone.
Having said that there are obviously areas which you know to avoid, any outsider walking across a sink estate at 1AM is taking a huge risk.
After my mate was murdered in the middle of Ashford town centre after a night out a few years ago I can say that I don't trust anyone anymore. Fair enough I'm not going to walk on the opposite side of the road etc, but I try not to make eye contact, and if they speak to me I'm polite, try and have a laugh with them etc so not to provoke anything. It's amazing how people can turn in a split second.
As a "unit" with a penchant for people watching I've learned to try to avoid situations where I might get into bother. Thankfully living in leafy North Essex it's fairly rural and not much trouble happens (plus I rarely go out nowadays)
I had seven bells knocked out of me in Dartford once but that was about wrong place wrong time. I try very hard to avoid confrontation
Nowadays I don't feel threatened per se but my genuine concern is what I would do if I, or more importantly my family, were genuinely threatened. I'm not sure if I'd beat someone to death or if I'd freeze. Pretty sure I'd go mental on someone but having never been in the situation I'm just not sure
Never had a problem anywhere in the world but I don't put myself in bad situations to often and if needs be can handle myself to point.
Now for the plug - If any of you live near Tunbridge wells or Mayfield and feel the need for self defense classes then my brother teaches Krav Maga http://www.sussexurbankravmaga.com/)
I can't think of the last time i felt scared or uneasy in London but i tend to stick to areas i know but you have to use your common sense and anyway as i'm only 5ft 6ins tall i'm not exactly built for violence.
I have lived most of my life in London and travel a great deal with my work and I can say from my experience that all large cities have their dangerous areas and times of day when it is not a good idea to be on your own. A good example of this is Rotterdam central railway station after 10 o'clock at night that is a place to avoid. If you know this then fine but I have always fronted it out, walked briskly without making eye contact and by and large it has worked for me. The one thing I do agree about is that this is generally a problem for young men not an older guy like me that said I still wouldn't go to a kebab shop in Bexleyheath at night. My advice is try to get to know thearea you are in and avoid the known trouble spots. If trouble does come try and talk it down, not always easy though.
The only time I've felt threatened was walking back to Liverpool St from a comedy gig with a woman friend. A couple of pond life decided to take exception to the fact that I am white and my friend is black and became threatening. I'd had a few beverages, so decided to tell them that if they wanted to carry on being able to use their eyes, they'd piss off and, remarkably, they did. Oh, I once got very frightened indeed watching a black cab meter come to its final conclusion!
When I lived in Floyd road in the mid 90s I got approached by 3 black yoots who wanted my jewellery when I replied the only way they would get my rings off was if thay had an axe to chop my fingers off they laughed and walked off! Now don't get me wrong I was shi*ing myself but just blagged it and got away with it. But if I had given my rings to them they would have taken them! The funny thing is a week later when Charlton were at home I was with a few pals and bumbed into one of the yoots who tried it on when he saw me coming with my pals he smiled and said "Alright mate"!!!!!!!!
We could have been a tosses and kicked 7 bells out of him but then why bow down to there standards? I used to see him about quite a lot then found out he lived 5 doors down from me....LOL
i was almost the same with the the yoot that attempted to mug me a few doors away from my hse. After he had his free wack and was bouncing about moving rapidly away (as i didnt hitthe floor) i thought " get in the car and run the c++t over"----then " grab the baseball bat and beat the crap outer him" ----but i thought its doors away from the hse what sort shit will come back? I stood there a little dazed as he started to run off and said "was that your best shot ?" Next day i was waiting for him at end of the road tho with a little present which he wouldnt have liked !! never saw him ever again he must have saw the lap top and thought he would have a go.
I used to feel scared of youths and chavvy types on the streets up until the age of about 17 in London.
However, as if overnight, I managed to just grow out of the fear.
I was recently out in San Francisco on business, and that is a whole different kettle of fish at night-time. I must have had about 4-5 different homeless people threaten me for not giving them money. Very frightening.
The best advice that I was ever given when living in London was, when you walk past a group of kids on a street corner, smile and say good morning to them. Do not immediately put the barriers up, grab your bag close to your chest, skulk past them with a scowl, or mutter at them to 'stop hanging around'. Why bring tension to a situation where it is not needed?
I am not at all saying that everyone who gets mugged in some way provoked it - that is clearly not true - but I firmly believe that taking a pleasant approach will give you a better chance on average.
Live on my own, get the train on my own and prefer to walk than wait for buses, never really feel scared, whatever time of the day or night - but then I'm a woman so less likely to attract agro from gangs of youths!
I've been on personal safety courses so have some idea of ways to protect myself. Most worrying thing to me is the amount of women (my sister included) that insist on walking around late at night with headphones in, they have no awareness of their surroundings. Stay alert and you'll be fine.
You can't let fear run your life, you'll never go/do/see anything.
Comments
Yeah, right!!!
I know that there are people who would knock me over in a heart beat and I know there are others I would knock over
I don't go looking for trouble and I am quite savy about situations before they unfold and I can get out of them if I want too as I see them early enough
I have walked home to Enfield through 7 sisters and rotten ham at 3 In the morning and not just through the high street the mrs goes mental but I think sometimes being a lump and walking with purpose would put some off tbh
I have encountered a few issues on the trains from Liverpool street to Enfield and considering the stations it passes through its not surprising
I had a couple of young hoodies with a staff try to intimidate me and out loud talk to people on the phone about how they were going to jack this fat guy on the Train
I laughed very loud and told them I was game if they wr and that he better say good bye to his staff as of they try it I will send the dogs back legs inTo its heart
In the camp of be confident walk and act like you can hold yourself but don't do it drunk get a cab
Neighbours didn't come and help nor did my housemate so I wasn't left with much choice but I would absolutely advise against doing this again, especially on your own doorstep.
In London though I feel safe, as long as you keep the radar and steer clear of say, stoke newington after lunchtime you should be all gravy
Tell her to get a taxi I'm available most nights lol
1. Think ahead - do everything possible not to make yourself a victim in the first place (avoid dodgy areas, travel in pairs, never run your car on empty, don't advertise the fact that you are wearing/carrying anything expensive and loads more little tips that I've probably forgotten).
2. If you get into trouble try to talk your way out of it, if that fails create a distraction an run like the wind.
They said that there were three no-nos that people say they'd do before attending the course. They strongly advised against them all:
1. "I'd punch them with my keys in my hand". Bad error because if your assailant gets your keys you've lost your safe haven.
2. "I'd kick him in the balls" (popular with the ladies apparently). Bad error because most people can't kick hard enough, high enough and quickly enough. The most likely outcome is that your assailant will counter attack causing you to lose your balance. Once you're on the ground you've had it.
3. "I'd poke him in the eyes". Bad error because the thought of potentially blinding someone is something so abhorrent to most people that they just can't do it in reality and end up freezing, no matter what they said before-hand.
I have never felt that unsafe in London, every time I go back it seems very safe because there are so many people around the place and you are rarely alone.
Having said that there are obviously areas which you know to avoid, any outsider walking across a sink estate at 1AM is taking a huge risk.
I had seven bells knocked out of me in Dartford once but that was about wrong place wrong time. I try very hard to avoid confrontation
Nowadays I don't feel threatened per se but my genuine concern is what I would do if I, or more importantly my family, were genuinely threatened. I'm not sure if I'd beat someone to death or if I'd freeze. Pretty sure I'd go mental on someone but having never been in the situation I'm just not sure
Now for the plug - If any of you live near Tunbridge wells or Mayfield and feel the need for self defense classes then my brother teaches Krav Maga http://www.sussexurbankravmaga.com/)
Oh, I once got very frightened indeed watching a black cab meter come to its final conclusion!
The funny thing is a week later when Charlton were at home I was with a few pals and bumbed into one of the yoots who tried it on when he saw me coming with my pals he smiled and said "Alright mate"!!!!!!!!
We could have been a tosses and kicked 7 bells out of him but then why bow down to there standards? I used to see him about quite a lot then found out he lived 5 doors down from me....LOL
I stood there a little dazed as he started to run off and said "was that your best shot ?"
Next day i was waiting for him at end of the road tho with a little present which he wouldnt have liked !! never saw him ever again he must have saw the lap top and thought he would have a go.
However, as if overnight, I managed to just grow out of the fear.
I was recently out in San Francisco on business, and that is a whole different kettle of fish at night-time. I must have had about 4-5 different homeless people threaten me for not giving them money. Very frightening.
I am not at all saying that everyone who gets mugged in some way provoked it - that is clearly not true - but I firmly believe that taking a pleasant approach will give you a better chance on average.
I've been on personal safety courses so have some idea of ways to protect myself. Most worrying thing to me is the amount of women (my sister included) that insist on walking around late at night with headphones in, they have no awareness of their surroundings. Stay alert and you'll be fine.
You can't let fear run your life, you'll never go/do/see anything.