Getting married on Sunday... what's your one bit of advice for a happy marriage?
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Don't marry a bloke. Unless you are a woman.GreenWithEnvy said:So I am finally getting hitched after having dithered so long in the past. Have been with my fiance for 5 years and we are very happy indeed. But what one piece of advice can my fellow lifers share to ensure the magic stays alive?
Spelling police rool.
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Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.0 -
Brides never walk down the aisle. The aisle in a Church runs along each side and in fact Brides are always taken down the central passage.Off_it said:Why does a bride smile when she walks down the aisle .............. you know the rest.
Anyway I remember my wedding day as if it were yesterday, I wish it were tomorrow as I'd still have time to cancel it.
In the words of Mr Davidson just find a woman you don't like and buy her a house. It saves both time and money.
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Best advice that I can give is pick your battles, made it much easier for me.0
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Taken many brides up the central passage have you?JWADDICK said:
Brides never walk down the aisle. The aisle in a Church runs along each side and in fact Brides are always taken down the central passage.Off_it said:Why does a bride smile when she walks down the aisle .............. you know the rest.
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"Brides are always taken down the central passage". Some of them prefer it up the rear.JWADDICK said:
Brides never walk down the aisle. The aisle in a Church runs along each side and in fact Brides are always taken down the central passage.Off_it said:Why does a bride smile when she walks down the aisle .............. you know the rest.
Anyway I remember my wedding day as if it were yesterday, I wish it were tomorrow as I'd still have time to cancel it.
In the words of Mr Davidson just find a woman you don't like and buy her a house. It saves both time and money.
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I will hand you the advice my father gave me 35 years ago, and may I say it has been indispensable:
1. On the first time she insists you do your share of ironing, burn her best bra.
2. Similar for the washing up, but drop a part of her favourite dinner set or similar.
I followed his advice to the letter, and we stayed quietly married for 35 years, had 3 kids and I remember enjoying at least 1 day of it :-)
Have a great life together.0 -
My third marriage ended three years ago when my wife left me for another man...same with the first two, so maybe I should have applied these rules back then. My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.Off_it said:
Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.
My guidelines that you so thoughtlessly damned were born out of my f*ck ups.0 -
Enjoy your marriage whilst it lasts. Every second of it - you'll only regret it later when it inevitably goes tits up.0
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have fun with her and don't have any children0
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I rest my case, m'lud.maybe_baby said:
My third marriage ended three years ago when my wife left me for another (more macho) man...same with the first two, so maybe I should have applied these rules back then. My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.Off_it said:
Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.
ps. All three ex wives have asked to come back.0 -
You have no case, as in my three marriages I was a selfish self opinionated arsehole.Off_it said:
I rest my case, m'lud.maybe_baby said:
My third marriage ended three years ago when my wife left me for another (more macho) man...same with the first two, so maybe I should have applied these rules back then. My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.Off_it said:
Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.
ps. All three ex wives have asked to come back.0 -
I am pissing myself here after that off it nail on headOff_it said:
I rest my case, m'lud.maybe_baby said:
My third marriage ended three years ago when my wife left me for another (more macho) man...same with the first two, so maybe I should have applied these rules back then. My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.Off_it said:
Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.
ps. All three ex wives have asked to come back.
teach her sign language so she does not interfere with the footie on the tellybox
and do not accept beer or cider at room temp, if served as such shake can and open in her face0 -
the first time you have an argument when married, punch her square in the face and say "things are changing round here c#nts-mouth"
and you should live happily ever after ...........0 -
Nice edit.maybe_baby said:
You have no case, as in my three marriages I was a selfish self opinionated arsehole.Off_it said:
I rest my case, m'lud.maybe_baby said:
My third marriage ended three years ago when my wife left me for another (more macho) man...same with the first two, so maybe I should have applied these rules back then. My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.Off_it said:
Tell me, how long have you been married?maybe_baby said:1. Never tell a lie, not even a white one.
2. Let her have her opinions.
3. Always remember she's not your possession.
4. Never play down or make jokes about menstruation.
5. Be the best friend she's ever had.
I'm not your average macho geezer so realize these rules can be tough for some. I wish you everything you wish yourself. Have a great day.
With those values you may as well add ;
6. let her walk all over you and treat you like a c*** - because that's what will happen with that attitude.
ps. All three ex wives have asked to come back.0 -
pmsflcafcdave123 said:the first time you have an argument when married, punch her square in the face and say "things are changing round here c#nts-mouth"
and you should live happily ever after ...........0 -
My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.
My guidelines that you so thoughtlessly damned were born out of my f*ck ups.
Are you sure your present gf isn't actually a bloke0 -
What do you say to your wife with a black eye?
Nothing, you've already told her once.0 -
p.s. that is a joke by the way.0
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Are you sure your present gf isn't actually a blokeJWADDICK said:My present gf never lies to me, isn't opinionated, spends most of her time with me, doesn't flirt with other men and is definately the best friend I've ever had.
My guidelines that you so thoughtlessly damned were born out of my f*ck ups.
that was going to be my advice^0 - Sponsored links:
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cheat with brasses not women in pubs etc, win win then0
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But remember to wrap up0
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Congrats and good luck0
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creatine powder around knackers is good enough0
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only do really good quality gear off her titties0
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what the wife?0
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let it go nolly. let it go.0
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When she says jump, don't even bother with 'how high?' Just cut straight to 'was that high enough?'
And never respond to an argument and 'you're in the spare room' threats with the words 'Bothered - we've got cable'.
Apart from that, have a great day and congrats to you both!0 -
Place a leek on the bed before running in and telling her there's a massive leak in the bedroom.0
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Just do as she says and you'll be alright.0