It's obviously the biggest drawback of being a animal/dog lover.
We lost our French Bulldog almost exactly a year ago, not through illness but due to him choking on something our Lab had got from the bin whilst we were in bed.
It's bloody hard losing a much loved pet and to see our Lab visibly grieve was heartbreaking.
We rescued a young mongrel from South East Dog Rescue, primarily, because we thought that our Lab would pine away. It's fair to say that it took her a good 7 months to accept him but now they're inseparable, which in turn has helped us to get through our grieving.
I still can't watch any footage of our little Frenchie, not yet anyway but our new little rascal has certainly helped us.
Our Lab is 11 this year and still very active but I'm sort of preparing myself for the day when we have to say goodbye but I know I will also be in bits when it comes.
In conclusion, I would never have dreamed of getting another dog so soon after losing one if it wasn't to help our grieving Lab but we are extremely glad we did, he has helped us all (me, my wife and 3 kids) get through our loss and he is a very much loved member of our family.
I mentioned I knew how you felt when we swapped emails earlier Prague. We lost our dog when I was in my early 20s. We'd had her from a pup and she was 12 when I came down one morning and found her.
We buried her under the pear tree in the garden and I cried my eyes out as I dug the grave for her. My dad and sister were in bits as well as we wrapped her in her favourite blanket, with her favourite toys and laid her to rest.
I couldn't bring myself to get another dog after that. I just didn't ever what to feel that way again, so I can well imagine what you are going through. I hope you get some hope on Monday but, there's a lot of good advice on here already and all you can do is remember all the wonderful memories he has given you both.
As others have said, your plight brings back memories I thought were long buried but I guess a much loved pet never really departs.
We bought a cocker spaniel puppy after I had suffered a traumatic 24 week miscarriage nearly 40 years ago and Oliver was the baby I had lost. He had a good life and our subsequent 2 children thought the world of him. In hindsight, we did not let him go when he was "ready" and I beat myself up when I remember his plight which finally led us to the vet for our goodbyes.
The saddest loss was that of our son's dog, Abby, who he rescued when living on Long Island , NY. A year or so after she joined the household, our son & his American wife separated and Tim was left in a "strange" country & pretty alone. Abby became his salvation - she was always there to welcome him after a day's work and to get him out of the house when he might have otherwise hidden away. After a year or so, he was able to bring Abby home to England via France with the help of a humane group to avoid quarantine which he knew should would not survive as she was pretty frightened of people.
Until he was able to save the deposit to buy a small house of his own, Tim & Abby moved in with us and she became very close to us. When he & Penny were married in 2007, Abby became a "Timeshare" dog and spent lots of time with us whilst they were working. Then one morning, 5 years ago we had a call to say that Abby appeared to have suffered a stroke overnight - she was bumping into things and very disorientated. We rushed to Dorking & Mr F and Tim took her to the local vet where she was put to sleep. We brought her home to our garden in Dartford where she is buried alongside Oliver with their name discs on a tree above them. There is a possibility we may seek to move to East Sussex where our daughter & her family are about to relocate but Mr F has stated that this would mean leaving Oliver & Abby behind...such is the impact that pets, and in our case, dogs, have on our lives.
I just wanted to mention our experiences of sharing our lives with much loved pets & to say that we know how you must feel at this time. I have been reduced to tears whilst posting this ....but then I look at the photos on the shelf of both dogs and remember how much fun & love was shared during those precious years that we were privileged to have them as part of our family. As others have said, do what you have to do to make your dear pal's last days comfortable & cherish the time you have left together. Of course you will grieve and there will be an empty space in your hearts which no future pet will completely fill but I would urge you to consider giving a home and your love to another when you feel able....one who needs you as much as you need him.
It amazes me when people say 'it was only a dog/cat'. Only those who have never had a much loved pet would say that. It's great that we have such a great forum where we can discuss such issues and touching that people can feel able to discuss difficult and sensitive issues, such as Fanny above. My thoughts are with Prague at this moment. All I can say is that if it gets to the point whereby you need to make the agonising decision to have a much loved pet put down you just know when the right time is. You just know that your pet is suffering and that their quality of life has reached the point where it is kinder to have them put down. It's not easy and it's heartbreaking but you do in a way have a sense of relief.
We have had, over the years, four cats, three of them rescue cats. Each have been very different and each have been fantastic characters. We have one cat at the moment and she is approaching about 16/17 now. Of the others, two we had to have put down through ill health whilst the other was run over after very uncharacteristically straying from our little cul de sac. Last year we had to make the agonising decision to put down little Blaze who we had had for about 15 years. We were gutted.
I can understand where Fanny is coming from regarding leaving the house where beloved pets are buried. We have always had our little un's cremated with their ashes returned to us in a small casket. We bury them in the garden, wrapped in plastic, and always take them with us when we move. Our three are currently buried together next to a Red Robin tree with a little stone house above marking the spot. It may seem silly but whenever we are gardening nearby, or mowing the grass, we always have a little chat and say hello and tell them to play nicely together.
Thoughts are with Prague and anyone rose in this situation. Mush dash, need to blow my nose for some reason.
Hi Prague. Sorry to hear your very sad news. My eyes are welling up as I commit my thoughts to paper.
I am now "on" my third Border Collie (Wilson). I was in the same position 6 years ago when my then BC (Jasper) was diagnosed with Cancer after a very short illness, which we were told was incurable. The first decision we had to make revolved around his quality of life during his remaining time on this planet. The decision to have him put down was made for us with immediate effect because he was so poorly. I laid next to him on the floor all night, of his last night with us. My wife would not let me go to the vets to have Jaz put down because of the state I was in.
We then discussed having another dog. I was undecided, partly because I was 60 at the time. I said I would defer the decision for one month, hoping the time lapse would allow me to make an informed decision. Within 2 weeks I was searching for a new Border Collie. The passing of Jaz had created a much bigger void in my day-to-day life than I could ever imagine. Ironically "Wilson" was born on the same day as "Jaz" died.
All dogs are different and "Wilson" has some great traits and certainly helps to fill the void left by "Jaz". I never compare any of my three dogs. I knew within a week that I personally made the right decision to move on and get another dog early.
So 6 years later, Wilson and I go and watch the local youths play football. He is a local star in that he dribbles and heads a football. When I was still refereeing youths uptil last year, Wilson would come to the middle of the park for the toss and I would brandish a red card; he would slink off of the park, to the delight of youth players and their parents. Dogs can bring some much pleasure to one's life!
Large, you have helped answer questions in my head about where we will lay him to rest.
Tomorrow it will be clearer how much time he has left. My wife spoke to an oncology specialist, and she explained that dogs are resilient and this can explain how a cancer can advance so much without any outward signs of distress. While I was in London my wife took him for a 10km walk with which he appeared to be fine. And then he had an epileptic fit on the night of the 2nd, and it has all developed with bewildering speed. We just hope that we have some time to try some of the the remedies to make him more comfortable. We are looking into CV247 as Peanuts suggested, although one of the UK vets I contacted said that they had not seen the 'miracle' results claimed (but we are not expecting miracles) . On the other hand she mentioned experience with small doses of aspirin, which of course is already noted for its cancer-fighting qualities in human. I am taking a regular dose myself.
We are preparing for the worst. Thank you all for being with us. Give your pet an extra hug from us.
it's just so awful when you're faced with this dilemma. thankfully my last dog died at home, unfortunately not when I was there, I came back to find she had gone, she was 16 but I still beat myself up for not being there for her.
my latest dog came from battersea 12 years ago, three months after my last passed away. so i was surprised to get another so soon but i took it as fate as he was the same breed but male instead of female. he was 1 when I got him, so thirteen now and his health is not great, kidney, liver problems, plus anaemic and dodgy hind legs, and I fear having to make a decision at some point but you'd never no he was I'll, he just gets on with it, if it was me I'd be whinging and moaning.
I don't think I'd introduce another dog into our lives at his stage, I think it would be unfair on him, he's very terratorrial and I really don't think he'd put up with it.
Hello everyone. I just wanted to let you know that after the visit to the vet we believe that we have some time. And his physical condition has greatly improved in the last 48 hours. We are grateful for that, and it gives us time to prepare. He might celebrate his 12th birthday after all, and if we had been offered a guarantee when we got him that he would reach 12, and not be afflicted by the hip problems so many Labs have, we'd have happily signed up for that. The vet said what several of you have said, that while the dog is eating, walking, playing normally, happy to see you, it is worth fighting to keep him, but you know when it is no longer so, and that may be the time to help him to his next life.
I'll drop a line separately to a couple of you who mailed me privately.
Hi Prague, only just seen this thread however I am sorry to hear the news. A friend of mine has 2 Weimaraner's who are both the same size, if not bigger than Labs. One of his dogs was diagnosed with stomach cancer last year and the vet seemed resigned to the fact that his time had come. My friend refused to accept there was nothing he could do and after a lot of research he discovered Flaxseed.
Since the dog has been taking the Flaxseed as part of his daily diet not only is he still alive he is bounding around the garden and seems very happy. If you Google 'pet grade Flaxseed' you will find plenty on the web.
The reason I say 'pet grade' is it looks cheaper to buy in bulk for a pet rather than your local health shop that will charge you a fortune for a small bottle.
Glad to hear that things have improved in the last couple of days, Prague - hopefully you have a good while yet to enjoy each other's company. I haven't had a pet for years, due to living / work circumstances, but still remember losing our cats when I was a child - comforting one as it died in front of me of old age when I was first home, the other being traumatically run over as a kitten on our very quiet road one Sunday evening. So not a topic I can offer much advice on, but fortunately there are many here well-placed to do so. Thoughts with you.
We had to have our golden retriever put down when i was about 9. I just remember my dad driving off with him and then pulling back onto the drive without him. The whole family were in tears in the front room.
Now i live with with the mrs she talked me into getting a cat. We have had him for about 2.5 years now after getting him at 6 weeks old. I've never been a cat person but I love the little fella now. Even If he is swinging on the curtains at 2 in the morning or throwing up at our feet or licking his arris in front of our guests, he is part of the family now and I dread the day that he has to leave us.
Good luck prague and try to enjoy the rest of his life and cherish the memories you have.
I have often had to take strength from these words;
If it should be that I grow weak And pain should keep me from my sleep, Then you must do what must be done, For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad, I understand. Don't let your grief then stay your hand. For this day, more than all the rest, Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years. What is to come can hold no fears. You'd not want me to suffer so; When the time has come -- please let me go.
Take me where my need they'll tend, And please stay with me till the end. Hold me firm and speak to me, Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see The kindness that you did for me. Although my tail its last has waved, From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve -- it must be you Who had this painful thing to do. We've been so close, we two, these years; Don't let your heart hold back its tears.
Also just to say Prague that cancer in dogs isn't always an immediate death sentence. We had a lab diagnosed with mammary gland cancer when she was ten. Vet said it was aggressive and she reached the age of 15. Also cancer in dogs is very treatable today with chemotherapy. More than anything you know your dog, you know when he's happy,sad,hungry and you will know when the time is right to say good bye, you will see it in his eyes. Also when the time comes one of the hardest things is having to leave them for the vet to cremate. You have options,but your not there yet,but don't be bullied into things, remember he is your mate and you must be the one to call the shots..good luck
Prague. Very moving thread. Cherish your time with him. When the time comes, remember fondly the "longish" 12+ years you've had with him, and the fine quality of life you've given him. Been in this situation a couple of times. The only one that still hurts is when I lost a cat who was pretty young. She didn't have much of a life. Regards
That's sad news Prague, i really feel for you. The only advice i can give is listen to the vet, they really do know best.
Can't say I really agree with that. Ironically, my sister lost her golden lab a couple of months back to cancer. When the lump was discovered, she asked the vet if the tests came back as terminal, to let her know, as there's really no point in prolonging the agony. The vet assured her it was operable, so my sister went ahead with it. Within a month, the vet then informed her it was terminal and the dog only had a month or so left. She was put to sleep a couple of weeks later when she was showing signs of pain & discomfort.
Cynical maybe, but I felt the vet pretty much knew who this was going to end, but wanted to squeeze another £600 out of her.
Enjoy your remaining time with your family member, and as hard as it will be, recognise the signs when it's time for him to go with dignity.
I can't say I envy your situation Prague. My dog is coming up to 12 yrs old now and when the time comes for her to go, I will be in bits, as will my son who has grown up with her.
Our beloved Arry passed away this morning. He had another fit. we called the emergency service but he was gone before they could do anything. hey think the cancer got to his nervous system. We hope that at least the illness did not cause him great pain too long. We will see him again at the Rainbow Bridge.
Comments
Truly sorry to hear your news.
It's obviously the biggest drawback of being a animal/dog lover.
We lost our French Bulldog almost exactly a year ago, not through illness but due to him choking on something our Lab had got from the bin whilst we were in bed.
It's bloody hard losing a much loved pet and to see our Lab visibly grieve was heartbreaking.
We rescued a young mongrel from South East Dog Rescue, primarily, because we thought that our Lab would pine away. It's fair to say that it took her a good 7 months to accept him but now they're inseparable, which in turn has helped us to get through our grieving.
I still can't watch any footage of our little Frenchie, not yet anyway but our new little rascal has certainly helped us.
Our Lab is 11 this year and still very active but I'm sort of preparing myself for the day when we have to say goodbye but I know I will also be in bits when it comes.
In conclusion, I would never have dreamed of getting another dog so soon after losing one if it wasn't to help our grieving Lab but we are extremely glad we did, he has helped us all (me, my wife and 3 kids) get through our loss and he is a very much loved member of our family.
All the very very best.
We buried her under the pear tree in the garden and I cried my eyes out as I dug the grave for her. My dad and sister were in bits as well as we wrapped her in her favourite blanket, with her favourite toys and laid her to rest.
I couldn't bring myself to get another dog after that. I just didn't ever what to feel that way again, so I can well imagine what you are going through. I hope you get some hope on Monday but, there's a lot of good advice on here already and all you can do is remember all the wonderful memories he has given you both.
All the best
Terry
As others have said, your plight brings back memories I thought were long buried but I guess a much loved pet never really departs.
We bought a cocker spaniel puppy after I had suffered a traumatic 24 week miscarriage nearly 40 years ago and Oliver was the baby I had lost. He had a good life and our subsequent 2 children thought the world of him. In hindsight, we did not let him go when he was "ready" and I beat myself up when I remember his plight which finally led us to the vet for our goodbyes.
The saddest loss was that of our son's dog, Abby, who he rescued when living on Long Island , NY. A year or so after she joined the household, our son & his American wife separated and Tim was left in a "strange" country & pretty alone. Abby became his salvation - she was always there to welcome him after a day's work and to get him out of the house when he might have otherwise hidden away. After a year or so, he was able to bring Abby home to England via France with the help of a humane group to avoid quarantine which he knew should would not survive as she was pretty frightened of people.
Until he was able to save the deposit to buy a small house of his own, Tim & Abby moved in with us and she became very close to us. When he & Penny were married in 2007, Abby became a "Timeshare" dog and spent lots of time with us whilst they were working. Then one morning, 5 years ago we had a call to say that Abby appeared to have suffered a stroke overnight - she was bumping into things and very disorientated. We rushed to Dorking & Mr F and Tim took her to the local vet where she was put to sleep. We brought her home to our garden in Dartford where she is buried alongside Oliver with their name discs on a tree above them. There is a possibility we may seek to move to East Sussex where our daughter & her family are about to relocate but Mr F has stated that this would mean leaving Oliver & Abby behind...such is the impact that pets, and in our case, dogs, have on our lives.
I just wanted to mention our experiences of sharing our lives with much loved pets & to say that we know how you must feel at this time. I have been reduced to tears whilst posting this ....but then I look at the photos on the shelf of both dogs and remember how much fun & love was shared during those precious years that we were privileged to have them as part of our family. As others have said, do what you have to do to make your dear pal's last days comfortable & cherish the time you have left together. Of course you will grieve and there will be an empty space in your hearts which no future pet will completely fill but I would urge you to consider giving a home and your love to another when you feel able....one who needs you as much as you need him.
Stay strong for each other and take care.
We have had, over the years, four cats, three of them rescue cats. Each have been very different and each have been fantastic characters. We have one cat at the moment and she is approaching about 16/17 now. Of the others, two we had to have put down through ill health whilst the other was run over after very uncharacteristically straying from our little cul de sac. Last year we had to make the agonising decision to put down little Blaze who we had had for about 15 years. We were gutted.
I can understand where Fanny is coming from regarding leaving the house where beloved pets are buried. We have always had our little un's cremated with their ashes returned to us in a small casket. We bury them in the garden, wrapped in plastic, and always take them with us when we move. Our three are currently buried together next to a Red Robin tree with a little stone house above marking the spot. It may seem silly but whenever we are gardening nearby, or mowing the grass, we always have a little chat and say hello and tell them to play nicely together.
Thoughts are with Prague and anyone rose in this situation. Mush dash, need to blow my nose for some reason.
I am now "on" my third Border Collie (Wilson). I was in the same position 6 years ago when my then BC (Jasper) was diagnosed with Cancer after a very short illness, which we were told was incurable. The first decision we had to make revolved around his quality of life during his remaining time on this planet. The decision to have him put down was made for us with immediate effect because he was so poorly. I laid next to him on the floor all night, of his last night with us. My wife would not let me go to the vets to have Jaz put down because of the state I was in.
We then discussed having another dog. I was undecided, partly because I was 60 at the time. I said I would defer the decision for one month, hoping the time lapse would allow me to make an informed decision. Within 2 weeks I was searching for a new Border Collie. The passing of Jaz had created a much bigger void in my day-to-day life than I could ever imagine. Ironically "Wilson" was born on the same day as "Jaz" died.
All dogs are different and "Wilson" has some great traits and certainly helps to fill the void left by "Jaz". I never compare any of my three dogs. I knew within a week that I personally made the right decision to move on and get another dog early.
So 6 years later, Wilson and I go and watch the local youths play football. He is a local star in that he dribbles and heads a football. When I was still refereeing youths uptil last year, Wilson would come to the middle of the park for the toss and I would brandish a red card; he would slink off of the park, to the delight of youth players and their parents. Dogs can bring some much pleasure to one's life!
I hope for comments are helpful.
Best of luck.
Large, you have helped answer questions in my head about where we will lay him to rest.
Tomorrow it will be clearer how much time he has left. My wife spoke to an oncology specialist, and she explained that dogs are resilient and this can explain how a cancer can advance so much without any outward signs of distress. While I was in London my wife took him for a 10km walk with which he appeared to be fine. And then he had an epileptic fit on the night of the 2nd, and it has all developed with bewildering speed. We just hope that we have some time to try some of the the remedies to make him more comfortable. We are looking into CV247 as Peanuts suggested, although one of the UK vets I contacted said that they had not seen the 'miracle' results claimed (but we are not expecting miracles) . On the other hand she mentioned experience with small doses of aspirin, which of course is already noted for its cancer-fighting qualities in human. I am taking a regular dose myself.
We are preparing for the worst. Thank you all for being with us. Give your pet an extra hug from us.
my latest dog came from battersea 12 years ago, three months after my last passed away. so i was surprised to get another so soon but i took it as fate as he was the same breed but male instead of female. he was 1 when I got him, so thirteen now and his health is not great, kidney, liver problems, plus anaemic and dodgy hind legs, and I fear having to make a decision at some point but you'd never no he was I'll, he just gets on with it, if it was me I'd be whinging and moaning.
I don't think I'd introduce another dog into our lives at his stage, I think it would be unfair on him, he's very terratorrial and I really don't think he'd put up with it.
I wish you well prague at a difficult time .
I'll drop a line separately to a couple of you who mailed me privately.
Since the dog has been taking the Flaxseed as part of his daily diet not only is he still alive he is bounding around the garden and seems very happy. If you Google 'pet grade Flaxseed' you will find plenty on the web.
The reason I say 'pet grade' is it looks cheaper to buy in bulk for a pet rather than your local health shop that will charge you a fortune for a small bottle.
If you give it a go good luck, no harm in trying.
Now i live with with the mrs she talked me into getting a cat. We have had him for about 2.5 years now after getting him at 6 weeks old. I've never been a cat person but I love the little fella now. Even If he is swinging on the curtains at 2 in the morning or throwing up at our feet or licking his arris in front of our guests, he is part of the family now and I dread the day that he has to leave us.
Good luck prague and try to enjoy the rest of his life and cherish the memories you have.
If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done,
For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad, I understand.
Don't let your grief then stay your hand.
For this day, more than all the rest,
Your love for me must stand the test.
We've had so many happy years.
What is to come can hold no fears.
You'd not want me to suffer so;
When the time has come -- please let me go.
Take me where my need they'll tend,
And please stay with me till the end.
Hold me firm and speak to me,
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I've been saved.
Please do not grieve -- it must be you
Who had this painful thing to do.
We've been so close, we two, these years;
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.
Thinking of you Prague, all the best..
Cynical maybe, but I felt the vet pretty much knew who this was going to end, but wanted to squeeze another £600 out of her.
Enjoy your remaining time with your family member, and as hard as it will be, recognise the signs when it's time for him to go with dignity.
I can't say I envy your situation Prague. My dog is coming up to 12 yrs old now and when the time comes for her to go, I will be in bits, as will my son who has grown up with her.
Thoughts are with you Prague.
Strength without Insolence,
Courage without Ferocity,
And all the Virtues of Man without his Vices.
Our thoughts go with you both xx
i feel for you and yours Prague. i hope you're ok
Thinking of you & Mrs P at this sad time.
Run free, Arry.