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New lad @ work - Palace Season ticket holder.

2

Comments

  • nth_london_addick
    nth_london_addick Posts: 35,919
    Follow him to the kahzi and let him know that if he touches anything of yours or tries to have football related banter with you then you will kick the shi out of him

  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    edited January 2014
    Tell him every Wednesday in the office is 'nude day'.
  • WSA
    WSA Posts: 1,911
    Does he drive to work?

    I got my Palace work mate back for his very annoying antics by furtively borrowing his keys one day and sticking a Charlton sticker in the back of his car. He drove off oblivious....
  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,358
    Just refer to him as Nigel. If you do this for the first 2 weeks it will become his nick name used by everyone.
  • alan dugdale
    alan dugdale Posts: 3,076
    Trap 4 all day long.
  • CAFCsayer
    CAFCsayer Posts: 10,223
    Shrink-wrap his car
  • AddickUpNorth
    AddickUpNorth Posts: 8,325
    Just kick him in the cock and resign. You don't really need the job do you.............
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Start coming on to him :-)
  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,591
    AFKABartram said:

    Oh, and tell him if he ever mentions football again then next time it is a coke can and a cricket bat.

    Might be difficult to ram a cricket bat up just using a coke can though.
  • sillav nitram
    sillav nitram Posts: 10,160
    kill him now
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  • MuttleyCAFC
    MuttleyCAFC Posts: 47,728
    Garrymanilow said:

    SE7toSG3 said:

    1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.

    2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel

    3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.

    In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.

    I work with a Palace fan and I have never, in the entire time I've known him, addressed him as anything other than Nigel
    Is that because his name is actually Nigel?
  • seth plum
    seth plum Posts: 53,448
    I have to agree that turning the Chris Powell mask on his fist day is a shocking bit of behaviour. Part of me would veer towards AFKA's mars bar solution however you could try:

    You are his trainer, tell him it is necessary to qualify, so you want a 5000 word essay on a subject in your field, based on an out of print book, by the next day. When he gives you the work, mark it wildly with a bright red pen, and fail it of course, then set another one.
    Tell him everybody has had to do it in your field of work.
  • C_Jensens_Love_Child
    C_Jensens_Love_Child Posts: 1,598
    You have to go with the calling him Nigel and Charltonkeston is right it will stick!!!!
  • stonemuse
    stonemuse Posts: 33,995
    C_Jensens_Love_Child said:

    You have to go with the calling him Nigel and Charltonkeston is right it will stick!!!!

    This is the one
  • EastTerrace
    EastTerrace Posts: 3,961
    You have a Chris Powell cut out mask at work?

    I only use mine in my man cave.
  • Leroy Ambrose
    Leroy Ambrose Posts: 14,435
    Garrymanilow said:

    SE7toSG3 said:

    1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.

    2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel

    3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.

    In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.

    I work with a Palace fan and I have never, in the entire time I've known him, addressed him as anything other than Nigel
    Me too! Although in this case it's because he's called Nigel...
  • PL54
    PL54 Posts: 10,757
    Piss in the kettle and then have him make everyone a cup of tea for everyone.

    That should set the tone.
  • creepyaddick
    creepyaddick Posts: 6,152
    Def the Nigel nickname then don the said mask and make him kneel before you and praise the lord....then kick the F%*k out of him
  • mrbligh
    mrbligh Posts: 3,056
    Punch him in the balls
  • TelMc32
    TelMc32 Posts: 9,043
    AFKABartram said:

    If you are not flying.solo on this then stick a mars bar in the freezer for the afternoon. If the boss leaves before everyone else then get a couple of others to pin him down and then smash the frozen mars bar up his backside with the heel of your shoe.

    Tomorrow mention to your boss you are a.bit concerned about the new kids chocolate intake.

    Jeez...I'd hate to know what you'd do if you weren't a moderator!!!!! ;-)
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  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 57,823
    I've not.progressed very far work wise....
  • charltonkeston
    charltonkeston Posts: 7,358
    What I cant understand is; how the heck did he get passed the interview.
    I've always asked the question. The most important attribute any new employee has to have is, will he fit in. You can wing the rest.
  • MickeyBennett
    MickeyBennett Posts: 676
    Find out where he lives and send sexually aggressive post to his loved ones.
  • DA1
    DA1 Posts: 182
    Make everyone that cup of tea and then when he asks where his is - throw the remaining water in his face laced with sugar.
  • Chris_from_Sidcup
    Chris_from_Sidcup Posts: 35,994
    C_Jensens_Love_Child said:

    You have to go with the calling him Nigel and Charltonkeston is right it will stick!!!!


    Another one for this. Never refer to him as anything other than Nigel and it'll definitely stick.
  • man_at_milletts
    man_at_milletts Posts: 5,620
    Circumcise him with a rusty pen-knife.
  • hawksmoor
    hawksmoor Posts: 2,608
    My son's football manager is a Palace fan. I feel a bit sullied when I admit that he's all right.
  • rananegra
    rananegra Posts: 3,689
    I was going to be all reasonable and say how I've got some really good mates who are Palace fans (one of whom really is from Surrey). Then I reread the bit about the CP mask. So... at the very least you have to call him Nigel and get it to stick. Does he still live in Surrey or has he emigrated somewhere else? And if he's like the Palace fans I know, he'll squirm at them being called Crystal Pulis as they have this mad idea they play attractive attacking football and aren't going to become Stoke Mark 2.
  • Athletico Charlton
    Athletico Charlton Posts: 14,273
    When ever he talks about Palace just say 'oh are they the team who ripped off the st johns ambulance?

    then when he tries to give banter back, stick your fingers in your ears and shout 'Nigel' repeatedly!
  • Draizetrain
    Draizetrain Posts: 801
    edited January 2014
    During one of your `one on one' training periods with him, suddenly pause for a second....then place a hand on his knee. Squeeze tenderly but with purpose, turn to face him getting close and personal....look deep into his eyes and say `Tell me young man, have you ever experienced the true love of our Lord Jesus Christ?'

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