Follow him to the kahzi and let him know that if he touches anything of yours or tries to have football related banter with you then you will kick the shi out of him
I got my Palace work mate back for his very annoying antics by furtively borrowing his keys one day and sticking a Charlton sticker in the back of his car. He drove off oblivious....
1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.
2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel
3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.
In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.
I work with a Palace fan and I have never, in the entire time I've known him, addressed him as anything other than Nigel
I have to agree that turning the Chris Powell mask on his fist day is a shocking bit of behaviour. Part of me would veer towards AFKA's mars bar solution however you could try:
You are his trainer, tell him it is necessary to qualify, so you want a 5000 word essay on a subject in your field, based on an out of print book, by the next day. When he gives you the work, mark it wildly with a bright red pen, and fail it of course, then set another one. Tell him everybody has had to do it in your field of work.
1 - Ride it out, its probably only a one year season ticket, if they go down he will return to supporting his local Surrey team United.
2 - Only address him using the correct social etiquette of Nigel
3 - if he is a true Palace fan then be reassured that all things in football move in cycles (except losing against Millwall & drawing Huddersfield in the cup) so your time for smugness will return.
In honesty I know a couple of Palace ST and get on very well with them, we do not see eye to eye football wise but outside of that have no problems at all. One who has missed only a handfull of games in the last 20 years says he is really missing the games that count, us, Brighton and Millwall.
I work with a Palace fan and I have never, in the entire time I've known him, addressed him as anything other than Nigel
Me too! Although in this case it's because he's called Nigel...
If you are not flying.solo on this then stick a mars bar in the freezer for the afternoon. If the boss leaves before everyone else then get a couple of others to pin him down and then smash the frozen mars bar up his backside with the heel of your shoe.
Tomorrow mention to your boss you are a.bit concerned about the new kids chocolate intake.
Jeez...I'd hate to know what you'd do if you weren't a moderator!!!!! ;-)
What I cant understand is; how the heck did he get passed the interview. I've always asked the question. The most important attribute any new employee has to have is, will he fit in. You can wing the rest.
I was going to be all reasonable and say how I've got some really good mates who are Palace fans (one of whom really is from Surrey). Then I reread the bit about the CP mask. So... at the very least you have to call him Nigel and get it to stick. Does he still live in Surrey or has he emigrated somewhere else? And if he's like the Palace fans I know, he'll squirm at them being called Crystal Pulis as they have this mad idea they play attractive attacking football and aren't going to become Stoke Mark 2.
During one of your `one on one' training periods with him, suddenly pause for a second....then place a hand on his knee. Squeeze tenderly but with purpose, turn to face him getting close and personal....look deep into his eyes and say `Tell me young man, have you ever experienced the true love of our Lord Jesus Christ?'
Comments
I got my Palace work mate back for his very annoying antics by furtively borrowing his keys one day and sticking a Charlton sticker in the back of his car. He drove off oblivious....
You are his trainer, tell him it is necessary to qualify, so you want a 5000 word essay on a subject in your field, based on an out of print book, by the next day. When he gives you the work, mark it wildly with a bright red pen, and fail it of course, then set another one.
Tell him everybody has had to do it in your field of work.
I only use mine in my man cave.
That should set the tone.
I've always asked the question. The most important attribute any new employee has to have is, will he fit in. You can wing the rest.
Another one for this. Never refer to him as anything other than Nigel and it'll definitely stick.
then when he tries to give banter back, stick your fingers in your ears and shout 'Nigel' repeatedly!