Had a bit of a surprise last week, my girlfriend announced to me she was 3 weeks pregnant and keeping it. Now I am only 19, I still live with Mum and she lives with hers. We both work admittedly I earn alot more than her at the moment, its all a bit of a mind blower really not sure where to start, how much this is going to cost (a hell of alot I am expecting for). Just seeing if anyone else on here had their first child early and how they dealt with it and if they got any support with it?
Advice anyone!?
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A child not only costs a lot but means you end up losing a lot income if a parent has to give up work.
Lots of advantages of having children younger. You're fitter and more able to cope with the physical side of chasing after them etc and your parents will be younger and more able to help now that then if you waited a long time.
Can't give much more advice than that. Whatever age you have children it's a big upheaval but can be the most wonderful thing too.
How do you feel about it? How does your girlfriend feel about it? Have you spoken to your parents about it?
Ive got a 1 year old girl and although I'm now 30, i was the most immature 29 year old on the planet. 19 is a young age to be a dad, but, as soon as your child comes into the world you will get a feeling like nothing else. Its like a wave comes over you, and you immediately grow up. You feel like a real man, and instinct kicks in. Ive never held a really young child before and was worried I was going to be too heavy handed…but I wasn't. It was perfect.
Its expensive, you will get tired and ratty, argue with your girlfriend at times…but one look at your child, something you created, and everything is fine again.
I ask about your parents because the one thing more important than anything else in my case has been their support. I was living with friends, partying, going out, no savings and then suddenly my girlfriend got pregnant. We moved in with my parents and saved to move out.
As long as you are responsible, age is just a number. Be prepared for many nights in and being skint, which will be a lot harder for a 19 year old who has mates who are out partying most weekends.
CL is a great place for advice from people mate, I'm sure you'll be fine!!
We both now say how great it would have been to have kids when we were younger.
Having a baby whilst you’re young will make a man of you! Yes, it is daunting and Yes it will be tough, but the positives outweigh the negatives 1,000 to 1.
Congratulations, good luck and enjoy your new addition.
And don't forget the most important thing : -)
But congratulations. Best wishes & enjoy.
The plan is for the baby to stay with the girlfriends house until we have enough saved to move out for our own place.
And I am glad i put it on here, some reassuring advice/comments!
Having a support structure in place i.e. grandparents willing to help etc is vital so the two of you can share some 'us' time occasionally. Don't forget that that there is still a relationship amongst it all which, especially for her, is so important. It can become so hard if you don't work as a team.
Rely on your instincts. There will be so many people offering advise but you are the parent, you will know your child best in time. If it doesn't feel natural to begin with, it will come.
Life will never be the same, sometimes its bloody tough but its still the most amazing thing that will ever happen to you.
Congratulations.
I'm quite a young dad myself and love it
And then to be told your other half was already over 6 months pregnant!!
That turned my world upside down that I tell ya but wouldn't change it for the world!
Just get your nut down and crack on thats all you can do fella you will enjoy it!!
P.s he's 6 now.
I had a son
CAFC
The team for me
Just one thing concerns me and that is if I am reading the above right your girlfriend and the baby are staying at her house, you did not mention what you are doing?
If you are not going to be living with them make sure you spend as much time as you can with them and get involved, if all the feeding, changing, crying, rocking to sleep and caring for the baby are done by your girlfriend and her parents (who will now be grand parents) you will soon find yourself out of the loop.
You want your child to recognise your voice, smell and touch as soon as possible and know that you are the dad so get stuck in and make sure you are around as much as possible.
However, it is well worth it
was in my mid 30s so looking it at from a completely different viewpoint. if i could offer any advice its that if you are going to be a good dad, your life is going to change in a thousand and one different ways and you need to be prepared to accept that.
You are young and will naturally make loads of mistakes, but the important thing is to learn from them and not repeat them. You will gain so many more potentially positive things, nothing can ever prepare you for the sheer love and connection of that being your child.
Sure, if you are going to do it properly you will not be able to live the same lives as your mates, but you don't have to miss out on anything, you just need to plan a bit more, be sensible with your money, fair to your girlfriend and not be so reckless. You are no longer the priority in your life but that doesn't mean in any sense that you can't still have your own life !
Have some sensible chats with close family that you trust. Get them onside, they will be vital to you, particularly being young.
Good luck.
Priorities have to change - simple as that, the time demands and financial pressures can wear you down, but in return you will have someone new on the planet that thinks you are "100% the bees knees" for the rest of their life.
Good luck.
So the message I offer is that I wish you every success and hope you and your partner are happy for years to come-but should this not happen, never ever lose touch with your Son/Daughter. Good Luck
but there will be times that when the little un is crying it's brains out in the middle of the night and you've done everything you can to try and settle them down that you will be at your wits end and will go mad(der), stay calm and the good times will arrive
The middle of the night can be tough but NOTHING beats holding him in your arms knowing he's yours. By the morning all is forgiven.
All the worries you are feeling will disappear as soon as your nipper is born, money and stuff doesn't come into it, you'll do what you've got to do to support your family. You'll be fine