Priorities have to change - simple as that, the time demands and financial pressures can wear you down, but in return you will have someone new on the planet that thinks you are "100% the bees knees" for the rest of their life.
Good luck.
This
And also, make time for yourselves when you can. That can go to one side a bit.
It's easy to be envious of mates who aren't tied down but put all that to one side, cherish every moment with your child. You won't see it at the time but in hindsight it'll have gone all too quickly and the other side of this is that you'll still be young when they're older and you can catch up on what you missed out on then.
Congratulations, enjoy it as there's nothing better!
My girls are 12 & 9 now and fight like cat & dog all the time, my throat is sore constantly from shouting at them and sending them to their rooms, spending hundreds of pounds every month on dance lessons, school trips, new shoes, missing out on my football most weeks as can't afford it or too knackered from all the overtime just to keep up with their spending, no crafty pints after work as you need to pick them up from here and drop them there,
I love my two to bits and wouldn't change a thing!
If you love your girlfriend and you are ready for a life long commitment then happy for you. If not having a child is not something to be taken lightly and there are options still available.
Congratulations mate, you'll get your head round it and you'll just man up and get on with it. There's two things I'll add -
Make allowances for your good lady. Her hormones are going to be all over the place and there's every chance you're going to bear the brunt. Breathe deep and roll with it. Cherish her and tell her she's beautiful even if she hasn't washed her hair for three days because she's exhausted and she's all bloated. Put her first, no matter how irrational she's being and resist the temptation to just leg it out of there to have a few beers with the boys. After all, she's carrying the greatest gift you'll ever get in life.
If you have a girl, you have about thirteen years to perfect your thousand yard stare and prepare to despise every yoot who shows an interest. No one will truly be good enough for your little princess.
If you have a boy you're laughing ;-)
Good luck and hope you keep us informed of how things are going.
Also if you're not precious about new gear you'll be given sooo much stuff. I think the only stuff we have bought has been a baby monitor and a few sets of clothes-literally everything else was given to us by mates.
Give me a shout nearer the time and you can have the pick of our stuff
Cheers everyone all these comments are reassuring everything's going to be fine! Hoping it's a boy because I want him to be well into his football! ;-)
Doesn't sound easy at all but well worth the ride as everyone has said!
Congratulations mate, I have just found out too that my girlfriend is about 5 weeks pregnant, completely unexpected. I am 23 and my girlfriend is 21, im lucky enough to be in a good job and have my own place but am still as scared as hell! But I cant wait to be able to cuddle both my Babes and take him/her to their first addicks match, only problem is the missus and her fam are millwall/arsenal and will do everything to turn them =(
If you and your girlfriend realise that decisions need to be made putting the interests of the baby before your own, if there is a conflict of interest, then the pair of you will manage just fine.
Its bloody hard work but worth it, although I would have found it much harder at 19 than I did at 34, mainly for financial reasons.
On the plus side though you will be a young enough Dad to really enjoy the children and not be so knackered you can't do anything with them.
Let's be clear here, financially you are going to find it very, very tough, there is no point in soft-soaping it, kids are bloody expensive for a number of reasons.
However, money is absolutely not everything and anyone who thinks it is is a damned fool.
We are very lucky to be financially comfortable and to give our kids the best of everything BUT I have to say that from my coaching football/cricket to loads of kids (in the nine and under age bracket) that the most important thing a parent can give their children is NOT material possessions but their time and attention.
You would not believe some of the little pricks who I coach that turn up with all the gear but whose behavior is shocking because their parents let them rum amok and could not give a toss about them.
About the happiest family I know around here is a family on a sole-income with two boys (8 and 6), they have not got much in the way of material stuff but they are the most polite and well-behaved boys imaginable and they are an incredibly close family that loves each other very much - and that matters more than anything.
Willmore , just give them both as much love as you can , and you won't go far wrong (however you interprete that) be a good dad, they'll thank you in the long run.
< class="Quote" rel="mrbligh">Mate it's amazing. My boy was born 11 days ago and I don't think I've ever been happier.
The middle of the night can be tough but NOTHING beats holding him in your arms knowing he's yours. By the morning all is forgiven.
All the worries you are feeling will disappear as soon as your nipper is born, money and stuff doesn't come into it, you'll do what you've got to do to support your family. You'll be fine
Congratulations! My lil man was born 3 weeks ago but I'm in my dirty 30's. (Any typos will be blamed on his wiggling & lack of sleep). Pretty much agree with everything you said.
I hadn't intended on having children but was ground down & convinced by my OH (Spud unfortunately but he's a very good Dad so far - as long as my side of the family wins the battle over who he supports). Plenty of my friends had them earlier, don't think any of them regretted it & they still managed to juggle everything & adore being parents. Good luck you'll surprise yourself.
There isn't a set age - but having a kid means you have somebody that you both have to put first from now on. At 19 that can be too young a responsibility for some, but not all. If you embrace it, it has it's advantages and the cost is massive but it comes in steps so you notice it more if you sit down afterwards and total it all up rather than at the time. All the best.
@WillmoreTheRed I hope you realise that since you have posted your news on here we are going to expect to know everything from 1st scan, to sex of baby, the birth and 1st Charlton game! :-))
Thanks again everyone for the reassuring comments, don't worry il keep you all informed! Praying it's a boy and he's mad about charlton... ;-)
Some of us girls were also mad about Charlton, I have a daughter that is and plays football too, most daddy's want daddy's girls, boys tend to be closer to their mums, anyway just hope for a healthy baby whatever sex. Best of luck.
Finances - look at long-term ISAs and other financial options with your bank. If you set aside a grand today it can give you the boost you really need 10/15 years down the line. Especially important if you fancy sending them to Uni!
My daughter's first game was a friendley Vs Welling aged 3 and since then a season ticket holder for 10 years!!! She gets more excited going Charlton more then me!!!
Comments
And also, make time for yourselves when you can. That can go to one side a bit.
It's easy to be envious of mates who aren't tied down but put all that to one side, cherish every moment with your child. You won't see it at the time but in hindsight it'll have gone all too quickly and the other side of this is that you'll still be young when they're older and you can catch up on what you missed out on then.
Good luck and congratulations
My girls are 12 & 9 now and fight like cat & dog all the time, my throat is sore constantly from shouting at them and sending them to their rooms, spending hundreds of pounds every month on dance lessons, school trips, new shoes, missing out on my football most weeks as can't afford it or too knackered from all the overtime just to keep up with their spending, no crafty pints after work as you need to pick them up from here and drop them there,I love my two to bits and wouldn't change a thing!
Make allowances for your good lady. Her hormones are going to be all over the place and there's every chance you're going to bear the brunt. Breathe deep and roll with it. Cherish her and tell her she's beautiful even if she hasn't washed her hair for three days because she's exhausted and she's all bloated. Put her first, no matter how irrational she's being and resist the temptation to just leg it out of there to have a few beers with the boys. After all, she's carrying the greatest gift you'll ever get in life.
If you have a girl, you have about thirteen years to perfect your thousand yard stare and prepare to despise every yoot who shows an interest. No one will truly be good enough for your little princess.
If you have a boy you're laughing ;-)
Good luck and hope you keep us informed of how things are going.
Give me a shout nearer the time and you can have the pick of our stuff
Can't add much more than already said. Its the most frightening/exhilarating thing. You'll be fine.
Doesn't sound easy at all but well worth the ride as everyone has said!
If you and your girlfriend realise that decisions need to be made putting the interests of the baby before your own, if there is a conflict of interest, then the pair of you will manage just fine.
On the plus side though you will be a young enough Dad to really enjoy the children and not be so knackered you can't do anything with them.
Let's be clear here, financially you are going to find it very, very tough, there is no point in soft-soaping it, kids are bloody expensive for a number of reasons.
However, money is absolutely not everything and anyone who thinks it is is a damned fool.
We are very lucky to be financially comfortable and to give our kids the best of everything BUT I have to say that from my coaching football/cricket to loads of kids (in the nine and under age bracket) that the most important thing a parent can give their children is NOT material possessions but their time and attention.
You would not believe some of the little pricks who I coach that turn up with all the gear but whose behavior is shocking because their parents let them rum amok and could not give a toss about them.
About the happiest family I know around here is a family on a sole-income with two boys (8 and 6), they have not got much in the way of material stuff but they are the most polite and well-behaved boys imaginable and they are an incredibly close family that loves each other very much - and that matters more than anything.
Good luck.
The middle of the night can be tough but NOTHING beats holding him in your arms knowing he's yours. By the morning all is forgiven.
All the worries you are feeling will disappear as soon as your nipper is born, money and stuff doesn't come into it, you'll do what you've got to do to support your family. You'll be fine
Congratulations! My lil man was born 3 weeks ago but I'm in my dirty 30's. (Any typos will be blamed on his wiggling & lack of sleep). Pretty much agree with everything you said.
I hadn't intended on having children but was ground down & convinced by my OH (Spud unfortunately but he's a very good Dad so far - as long as my side of the family wins the battle over who he supports). Plenty of my friends had them earlier, don't think any of them regretted it & they still managed to juggle everything & adore being parents. Good luck you'll surprise yourself.
:-)
Some of us girls were also mad about Charlton, I have a daughter that is and plays football too, most daddy's want daddy's girls, boys tend to be closer to their mums, anyway just hope for a healthy baby whatever sex. Best of luck.