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Southeastern train disruption (franchise to be taken over by Govt p191)
Comments
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It was MrLargo earlier on this thread, It was one of my favourites ever on Charlton Life so I saved it, I'll repeat it now:ForeverAddickted said:cantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
Seem to remember someone posting on this thread a while back saying that Canters would love the commute back into London for about five minutes... After that he'd lose patience completely and try to take control of the train in his frustrationDaveMehmet said:
you ok hun? xxcantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
I think that day has actually arrived.
You'll be back. You'll finish Uni,and get a great job that you're really excited about in Central London.
A week after starting your new job, everyone in your office will be slagging you off behind your back 'cos you've been late everyday and when you tell them it's because of disruption caused by a signal failure at Erith they just laugh in your face.
You spend the next month trying to redeem your reputation by getting the first train of the day, but still end up being late for work due to a sustained spell of "extreme weather" (light rain and a couple of clouds).
A month further on and South Eastern decide to invoke the infamous "emergency timetable", in response to rumours that strong gales in the Caribbean may lead to the temperature in the South East of England dropping by up to 1C. You start going home from work every evening, having a shower and then turning around and leaving for work again in the hope that allowing 14 hours to get in from Kent will be sufficient to negate even the severest of delays.
By this point you've started drinking heavily, you've forgotten what it's like to have a normal night's sleep and you're on a formal warning at work after assaulting a colleague who innocently asked you "how was your journey into work this morning?". You hate your job, you hate your colleagues, you hate yourself.
Things come to a head around 6 months in, when, after 4 consecutive trains are cancelled on your morning journey due to a displaced train crew and excessive daylight, you are arrested after dragging a train driver from his cabin and attempting to drive the train yourself. The arresting officer claims that he found you naked in the driver's cabin, singing "Come Along and Ride This Train" by Johnny Cash.
Faced with a 6 year prison sentence, you plead not guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility, and are instead detained indefinitely at Maudsley Psychiatric Hospital.
Welcome to the real world, kid.24 -
Thats the one... I did mean to quote the post yet couldnt remember who posted it or whenHarryLime said:
It was MrLargo earlier on this thread, It was one of my favourites ever on Charlton Life so I saved it, I'll repeat it now:ForeverAddickted said:cantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
Seem to remember someone posting on this thread a while back saying that Canters would love the commute back into London for about five minutes... After that he'd lose patience completely and try to take control of the train in his frustrationDaveMehmet said:
you ok hun? xxcantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
I think that day has actually arrived.
You'll be back. You'll finish Uni,and get a great job that you're really excited about in Central London.
A week after starting your new job, everyone in your office will be slagging you off behind your back 'cos you've been late everyday and when you tell them it's because of disruption caused by a signal failure at Erith they just laugh in your face.
You spend the next month trying to redeem your reputation by getting the first train of the day, but still end up being late for work due to a sustained spell of "extreme weather" (light rain and a couple of clouds).
A month further on and South Eastern decide to invoke the infamous "emergency timetable", in response to rumours that strong gales in the Caribbean may lead to the temperature in the South East of England dropping by up to 1C. You start going home from work every evening, having a shower and then turning around and leaving for work again in the hope that allowing 14 hours to get in from Kent will be sufficient to negate even the severest of delays.
By this point you've started drinking heavily, you've forgotten what it's like to have a normal night's sleep and you're on a formal warning at work after assaulting a colleague who innocently asked you "how was your journey into work this morning?". You hate your job, you hate your colleagues, you hate yourself.
Things come to a head around 6 months in, when, after 4 consecutive trains are cancelled on your morning journey due to a displaced train crew and excessive daylight, you are arrested after dragging a train driver from his cabin and attempting to drive the train yourself. The arresting officer claims that he found you naked in the driver's cabin, singing "Come Along and Ride This Train" by Johnny Cash.
Faced with a 6 year prison sentence, you plead not guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility, and are instead detained indefinitely at Maudsley Psychiatric Hospital.
Welcome to the real world, kid.1 -
it is a joke mate, a friend of mine literally just made it to an interview recently despite leaving home an hour earlier than he should have needed to.cantersaddick said:
Yes I did and got in more than 15 mins later than I would usually. Joke.cafcdave123 said:
Did you leave earlier than usual today?cantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
No I didn't take control of the train although I bloody should have. Just had a very stressful morning..
Carry on.
He didn't get it and put it down to being stressed and sweaty having run from the station to the office2 -
Incredibly accurate. I'm nearly at the 4 month point...HarryLime said:
It was MrLargo earlier on this thread, It was one of my favourites ever on Charlton Life so I saved it, I'll repeat it now:ForeverAddickted said:cantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
Seem to remember someone posting on this thread a while back saying that Canters would love the commute back into London for about five minutes... After that he'd lose patience completely and try to take control of the train in his frustrationDaveMehmet said:
you ok hun? xxcantersaddick said:Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canters
I think that day has actually arrived.
You'll be back. You'll finish Uni,and get a great job that you're really excited about in Central London.
A week after starting your new job, everyone in your office will be slagging you off behind your back 'cos you've been late everyday and when you tell them it's because of disruption caused by a signal failure at Erith they just laugh in your face.
You spend the next month trying to redeem your reputation by getting the first train of the day, but still end up being late for work due to a sustained spell of "extreme weather" (light rain and a couple of clouds).
A month further on and South Eastern decide to invoke the infamous "emergency timetable", in response to rumours that strong gales in the Caribbean may lead to the temperature in the South East of England dropping by up to 1C. You start going home from work every evening, having a shower and then turning around and leaving for work again in the hope that allowing 14 hours to get in from Kent will be sufficient to negate even the severest of delays.
By this point you've started drinking heavily, you've forgotten what it's like to have a normal night's sleep and you're on a formal warning at work after assaulting a colleague who innocently asked you "how was your journey into work this morning?". You hate your job, you hate your colleagues, you hate yourself.
Things come to a head around 6 months in, when, after 4 consecutive trains are cancelled on your morning journey due to a displaced train crew and excessive daylight, you are arrested after dragging a train driver from his cabin and attempting to drive the train yourself. The arresting officer claims that he found you naked in the driver's cabin, singing "Come Along and Ride This Train" by Johnny Cash.
Faced with a 6 year prison sentence, you plead not guilty on the grounds of diminished responsibility, and are instead detained indefinitely at Maudsley Psychiatric Hospital.
Welcome to the real world, kid.3 -
Is that before or after the formal warning for assault?3
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Picture 1 - @cantersaddick on his first day in his new job
Picture 2 - the effects of 4 months commuting on South Eastern
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Wait till he sees what they have done to his spreadsheet.7
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cantersaddick said:
Fucking bastard, shitface, twatty, cock sucking, excuse making, lying, shit eating, cunting wankers. The lot of them.
ARGGHGGHGGHGGGG
The one fucking day I need to get to work dead on time and we're 40 mins fucking late. Joke joke joke.
Angry canterscantersaddick said:Going at fucking snails pace all the bloody way.
Of course there are no seats. Love a bit of standing me.
Good thing the guard has decided to hide today as if he came through asking for tickets I reckon he'd have got a punch or three.
Good to see you've joined the rest of us.cantersaddick said:The excuses today keep switching between a broken down train and an object on the tracks. Which suggests to me it's just them lying. And their inability to sort out a schedule is the real problem.
The first 30 years are the hardest.7 -
Before. Just.Alwaysneil said:Is that before or after the formal warning for assault?
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I'll take it as a compliment that you think I looked that good before.MrLargo said:Picture 1 - @cantersaddick on his first day in his new job
Picture 2 - the effects of 4 months commuting on South Eastern4 - Sponsored links:
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That picture of David Moyes is going to give me nightmares - who said your looks go with age.0
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There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.0
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Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
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Told you earlier... Canters has been tipped over the edge with todays Servicecafcdave123 said:
Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
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Yes. On the concourse waiting for delayed trains. Bald bloke & younger guy. Couldn't see too much but provided a bit of entertainment.cafcdave123 said:
Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
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Don't tell me I've missed the "Commuters vs Management Christmas Grand Smackdown"?!Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
I've been training for that since June, bought myself a lycra outfit and perfected my flying windmill kick. Not gonna be impressed if they've rescheduled without telling me.9 -
The younger bloke must be Canters then. Anyone know if Largo is bald?Wilma said:
Yes. On the concourse waiting for delayed trains. Bald bloke & younger guy. Couldn't see too much but provided a bit of entertainment.cafcdave123 said:
Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
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Still a couple of hairs left but well on my way to full slapheadedness!HarryLime said:
The younger bloke must be Canters then. Anyone know if Largo is bald?Wilma said:
Yes. On the concourse waiting for delayed trains. Bald bloke & younger guy. Couldn't see too much but provided a bit of entertainment.cafcdave123 said:
Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
Wouldn't be me fighting Canters though, he's one of us. It saddens me seeing commuters fighting with each other - we should be united against the sadistic incompetence of South Eastern Trains. Instead of scrapping with each other, one of them could have been pinning a revenue protection officer to the floor while the other one forced a wad of delay repay leaflets up his jacksy.10 -
Anyone used this? http://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk/
In my 6th week of working now and only had delays in the morning three times and in the evening twice. Feel like I've really got away with it so far. Seemed worse when I was doing work experience over summer 2015 & 2016.0 -
F@ck me surely South eastern can't take the blame for the trains in leedsLeeds_Addick said:Anyone used this? http://www.recenttraintimes.co.uk/
In my 6th week of working now and only had delays in the morning three times and in the evening twice. Feel like I've really got away with it so far. Seemed worse when I was doing work experience over summer 2015 & 2016.1 - Sponsored links:
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You really do have a special way of writing.MrLargo said:
Still a couple of hairs left but well on my way to full slapheadedness!HarryLime said:
The younger bloke must be Canters then. Anyone know if Largo is bald?Wilma said:
Yes. On the concourse waiting for delayed trains. Bald bloke & younger guy. Couldn't see too much but provided a bit of entertainment.cafcdave123 said:
Between commuters?Wilma said:There was a fight at Cannon Street this evening.
Wouldn't be me fighting Canters though, he's one of us. It saddens me seeing commuters fighting with each other - we should be united against the sadistic incompetence of South Eastern Trains. Instead of scrapping with each other, one of them could have been pinning a revenue protection officer to the floor while the other one forced a wad of delay repay leaflets up his jacksy.
I can neither confirm nor deny I was in a fight at Cannon st this evening.
Hint: I travel from Victoria.2 -
This thread (almost) makes me laugh now. Oh for the days when I had the inconvenience of a delay to my train journey. Now I have to put up with the fucking M61/M60/M62 Nexus Of Evil every poxy day instead. Honestly - I think I prefer the bloody train
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Leroy, I've always thought that you're an extremely intelligent and astute contributor to Charlton Life, but I think you've fallen into a trap, which I'm sure many people do, of having a few months away from South Eastern Trains and convincing yourself that maybe they aren't the worst train operating company in the entire world, and maybe the torturous, feculent, shambolic daily commute wasn't quite as horrific as you used to think it was.Leroy Ambrose said:This thread (almost) makes me laugh now. Oh for the days when I had the inconvenience of a delay to my train journey. Now I have to put up with the fucking M61/M60/M62 Nexus Of Evil every poxy day instead. Honestly - I think I prefer the bloody train
Let me ask you a few questions:
Do you frequently turn up on your driveway in the morning expecting to drive to work only to find that, for no apparent reason, your car's absolutely nowhere to be seen?
Do you frequently open your car door in the morning to find that there are already 15 people squeezed across the five seats with another six crammed into the boot?
Does your car smell of other people's rotting faecae? Do people cough and sneeze on you while you drive to work?
Are you forced to use the bus every weekend and for a fortnight over Christmas because your car is engaged in "Engineering Works", even though you've paid road tax which supposedly enables you to use your car throughout the year?
Do the road signs on your way to work confusingly claim that the next exit is Cardiff, even though you know with absolute certainty that the M60 doesn't go anywhere near Cardiff?
Does your car demand extra money from you every year to cover the costs of supposed improvements to its performance, but then, once you've paid the money, just continues to breakdown every f*%king day of the year, come rain or f*$king shine?
Has atreebranchtwig this size ever resulted in not only your car not being able to get you to work, but also every other bastard car within a 50 mile radius being brought to a complete standstill while you wait for a specialist team of Elite Twig Lifters to drag their fat arses out of bed to remove it for you?
I could go on, but I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure.38 -
On form as always MrLargo... Just one fault; its called an MOT something always new goes wrongMrLargo said:
Leroy, I've always thought that you're an extremely intelligent and astute contributor to Charlton Life, but I think you've fallen into a trap, which I'm sure many people do, of having a few months away from South Eastern Trains and convincing yourself that maybe they aren't the worst train operating company in the entire world, and maybe the torturous, feculent, shambolic daily commute wasn't quite as horrific as you used to think it was.Leroy Ambrose said:This thread (almost) makes me laugh now. Oh for the days when I had the inconvenience of a delay to my train journey. Now I have to put up with the fucking M61/M60/M62 Nexus Of Evil every poxy day instead. Honestly - I think I prefer the bloody train
Let me ask you a few questions:
Do you frequently turn up on your driveway in the morning expecting to drive to work only to find that, for no apparent reason, your car's absolutely nowhere to be seen?
Do you frequently open your car door in the morning to find that there are already 15 people squeezed across the five seats with another six crammed into the boot?
Does your car smell of other people's rotting faecae? Do people cough and sneeze on you while you drive to work?
Are you forced to use the bus every weekend and for a fortnight over Christmas because your car is engaged in "Engineering Works", even though you've paid road tax which supposedly enables you to use your car throughout the year?
Do the road signs on your way to work confusingly claim that the next exit is Cardiff, even though you know with absolute certainty that the M60 doesn't go anywhere near Cardiff?
Does your car demand extra money from you every year to cover the costs of supposed improvements to its performance, but then, once you've paid the money, just continues to breakdown every f*%king day of the year, come rain or f*$king shine?
Has atreebranchtwig this size ever resulted in not only your car not being able to get you to work, but also every other bastard car within a 50 mile radius being brought to a complete standstill while you wait for a specialist team of Elite Twig Lifters to drag their fat arses out of bed to remove it for you?
I could go on, but I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure. 2 -
Forgot the twig picture.....MrLargo said:
Has atreebranchtwig this size ever resulted in not only your car not being able to get you to work, but also every other bastard car within a 50 mile radius being brought to a complete standstill while you wait for a specialist team of Elite Twig Lifters to drag their fat arses out of bed to remove it for you?6 -
Looks similar to one of those giant redwood trees.7
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@MrLargo genius1
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I think you and me were separated at birth...MrLargo said:
Leroy, I've always thought that you're an extremely intelligent and astute contributor to Charlton Life, but I think you've fallen into a trap, which I'm sure many people do, of having a few months away from South Eastern Trains and convincing yourself that maybe they aren't the worst train operating company in the entire world, and maybe the torturous, feculent, shambolic daily commute wasn't quite as horrific as you used to think it was.Leroy Ambrose said:This thread (almost) makes me laugh now. Oh for the days when I had the inconvenience of a delay to my train journey. Now I have to put up with the fucking M61/M60/M62 Nexus Of Evil every poxy day instead. Honestly - I think I prefer the bloody train
Let me ask you a few questions:
Do you frequently turn up on your driveway in the morning expecting to drive to work only to find that, for no apparent reason, your car's absolutely nowhere to be seen?
Do you frequently open your car door in the morning to find that there are already 15 people squeezed across the five seats with another six crammed into the boot?
Does your car smell of other people's rotting faecae? Do people cough and sneeze on you while you drive to work?
Are you forced to use the bus every weekend and for a fortnight over Christmas because your car is engaged in "Engineering Works", even though you've paid road tax which supposedly enables you to use your car throughout the year?
Do the road signs on your way to work confusingly claim that the next exit is Cardiff, even though you know with absolute certainty that the M60 doesn't go anywhere near Cardiff?
Does your car demand extra money from you every year to cover the costs of supposed improvements to its performance, but then, once you've paid the money, just continues to breakdown every f*%king day of the year, come rain or f*$king shine?
Has atreebranchtwig this size ever resulted in not only your car not being able to get you to work, but also every other bastard car within a 50 mile radius being brought to a complete standstill while you wait for a specialist team of Elite Twig Lifters to drag their fat arses out of bed to remove it for you?
I could go on, but I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure.4 -
And is your aircon always turned up full heat in the summer?MrLargo said:
Leroy, I've always thought that you're an extremely intelligent and astute contributor to Charlton Life, but I think you've fallen into a trap, which I'm sure many people do, of having a few months away from South Eastern Trains and convincing yourself that maybe they aren't the worst train operating company in the entire world, and maybe the torturous, feculent, shambolic daily commute wasn't quite as horrific as you used to think it was.Leroy Ambrose said:This thread (almost) makes me laugh now. Oh for the days when I had the inconvenience of a delay to my train journey. Now I have to put up with the fucking M61/M60/M62 Nexus Of Evil every poxy day instead. Honestly - I think I prefer the bloody train
Let me ask you a few questions:
Do you frequently turn up on your driveway in the morning expecting to drive to work only to find that, for no apparent reason, your car's absolutely nowhere to be seen?
Do you frequently open your car door in the morning to find that there are already 15 people squeezed across the five seats with another six crammed into the boot?
Does your car smell of other people's rotting faecae? Do people cough and sneeze on you while you drive to work?
Are you forced to use the bus every weekend and for a fortnight over Christmas because your car is engaged in "Engineering Works", even though you've paid road tax which supposedly enables you to use your car throughout the year?
Do the road signs on your way to work confusingly claim that the next exit is Cardiff, even though you know with absolute certainty that the M60 doesn't go anywhere near Cardiff?
Does your car demand extra money from you every year to cover the costs of supposed improvements to its performance, but then, once you've paid the money, just continues to breakdown every f*%king day of the year, come rain or f*$king shine?
Has atreebranchtwig this size ever resulted in not only your car not being able to get you to work, but also every other bastard car within a 50 mile radius being brought to a complete standstill while you wait for a specialist team of Elite Twig Lifters to drag their fat arses out of bed to remove it for you?
I could go on, but I don't think it would be good for my blood pressure.3
