farting

sillav nitram

serious question, do you fart a lot. i don't mean pull my finger for fun farting, just everyday farting. i asked my doctor once and he said we all fart about 40 times a day but i think i do more than that.

it's particularly aggravating when i go to my meditation group twice a week. i seem to spend my whole evening squeezing my butt cheeks together, so i don't let out a stream of loud farts, makes it near impossible to meditate.

ads

Drop the kids off at the pool before going to meditation?

Redvalleyeast

I love farting

Callumcafc

Better out than in.

Talal

I think 40 a day is stretching it....

Nadou

I wonder who measured the 40 farts a day? Do you think it's a government statistic backed up by research and confirmed by a select committee?

Callumcafc

It was part of their happiness survey.

SuedeAdidas

Regulated by Offguff

ForeverAddickted

I love doing a good fart... short and slight / loud and proud doesnt matter - thankfully never followed through!!

nth_london_addick

It's a male ritual


1 2 3 4 I declare far War

Great fun in a lorry cab where you can lock the passenger window


Bad when the guy next to you can fast on demand and find a smell Satan would rebuke as to evil

Jayajosh

Possibly something you are eating which is affecting you so badly. My wife avoids eating onions which causes her to have massive amount of flatulence.

JollyRobin

SuedeAdidas

I would say that I am a fairly clumsy milliner - but don't think I reach the heady heights of 40 a day.

ForeverAddickted

Jayajosh said:

Possibly something you are eating which is affecting you so badly. My wife avoids eating onions which causes her to have massive amount of flatulence.

Onions really do set me off as well... Wasnt able to enjoy a fart when I had one, now I eat them deliberately at times

MrOneLung

There is nothing funnier than a fart in a quiet classroom - FACT.

scidbox

I fart loads and love it, especially in the morning during first pee. Out of interest I am going to record how many per day for the next week. Any more takers for this study group? The more people involved will give us a truer answer and make sillav feel better (or maybe worse).

guinnessaddick

When you fart and let out 2 or 3 notes, is that counted as one fart?

ForeverAddickted

scidbox said:

I fart loads and love it, especially in the morning during first pee. Out of interest I am going to record how many per day for the next week. Any more takers for this study group? The more people involved will give us a truer answer and make sillav feel better (or maybe worse).

Yup I'm in...

Apologies to those around me at Charlton tomorrow when I do a fart and have a lil giggle followed by quietly going 35... Its a Science project!!

Dave2l

if your a woman then youve turned me on

Hornchurch

How many do you do in your sleep?

floydroadfaithfull

Farting in the bath is awesome as you hope everyone downstairs heard it?

ForeverAddickted

Dave2l said:

if your a woman then youve turned me on

Nope fraid Im a fella!!

Fumbluff

I'm trying to reduce my 40-a-day-habit by using a rechargeable USB-electronic farter

Six-a-bag-of-nuts

Don't know if I should be admitting this but I once considered compiling a C60 tape of farts and belches to playback during times of depression.

As a kid, nothing could beat the sheer hysterical, subversive pleasure of farting in Church

Oliver Street

Have you tried fart tennis? Person 1 farts to serve, Person 2 returns serve with a fart, back to Person 1... play continues until one player can't summon a fart or shits his/her pants/knickers. A great game that calls for strategy and control.

O-Randy-Hunt

I downloaded a sleep talk app that records any noise made during the night but when listening to it the next morning it would appear I had spent the night talking out my arris.

You can't beat a good old morning jam tart. Best of the day and usually my loudest.

Wheresmeticket?

My ex lives not far from a tidal river (West Looe) where seaweed sometimes lies and rots for a while. The first night I slept with her the wind was in the right direction, and in the middle of the night I woke up and there was this overwhelming stench. I wondered how I could raise the subject as she clearly needed to see a doctor. I chickened out, and didn't find out until next time it happened and she mentioned it herself.

Wheresmeticket?

But to answer your question. I don't fart. Never have, never will.

Sillybilly

Love farting. Love the word "fart" - beautifully expressive. I know its childish but dropping a really offensive one just before you get out of a lift and someone elese gets in is wonderfully satisfying. Similary on escalators.

Fanny Fanackapan

Wheresmeticket? said:

But to answer your question. I don't fart. Never have, never will.

Can't be true, Wmt !

When I was little , my Dad told me that the only person who doesn't fart is the Queen.

Not sure how he knew that though....

RedChaser

Fanny Fanackapan said:

Wheresmeticket? said:

But to answer your question. I don't fart. Never have, never will.

Can't be true, Wmt !

When I was little , my Dad told me that the only person who doesn't fart is the Queen.

Not sure how he knew that though....

Could it have been a term of endearment for your mum? :-)