But to answer your question. I don't fart. Never have, never will.
Can't be true, Wmt !
When I was little , my Dad told me that the only person who doesn't fart is the Queen.
Not sure how he knew that though....
No, I was lying. The only thing that stopped me from rattling the chandeliers was living with Mary. Now I live on my own the walls resound, the chairs shake and all of my musical instruments resonate to my emissions.
Incredibly stereotyped I know. She used to try to stop me shouting and swearing when I was driving as well, bless her. Can't fart, can't swear, what can you do?
serious question, do you fart a lot. i don't mean pull my finger for fun farting, just everyday farting. i asked my doctor once and he said we all fart about 40 times a day but i think i do more than that.
it's particularly aggravating when i go to my meditation group twice a week. i seem to spend my whole evening squeezing my butt cheeks together, so i don't let out a stream of loud farts, makes it near impossible to meditate.
My greatest moment was when I was about 18 and at college, had about 3 pints of beer for midday snack plus some home made thick egg sandwiches. Cleared the classroom
I love doing a good fart... short and slight / loud and proud doesnt matter - thankfully never followed through!!
don't get me wrong. i like a good fart just like the next man. but it's oh so better when you can knock one out and leave the vicinity, leaving those behind to suffer.
a little more tricky when you can't get away and it's obvious where it's come from.
sadly i did once follow through and no i'm not a vegetarian anymore.
I love doing a good fart... short and slight / loud and proud doesnt matter - thankfully never followed through!!
You haven't lived.
One of the few things I can do to a world class level. My nickname at school was "Farmer fartalot of Camelot". The first few bars of Onward Christian Soldiers is a speciality when the conditions are correct.
Forty a day? That's just not trying hard enough...
When they were first married, back in the 1940s , my Dad used to decamp to the bathroom whenever he felt the need to let one go , hence giving my Mum the impression that he had a VERY weak bladder !
Everyone loves the smell of their own brand. Even if its enough to knock out the family pet, still love the smell of my own. Post curry farts are a wonderful thing.
I'm not sure if this is testament to how dull and unadventurous my life has been but one of my proudest moments was when I cleared the gift shop of the Vancouver to Vancouver Island ferry with the cheekiest trump. Still makes me giggle when I think of the little kid who, through a screwed up face, asked her horrified mum what that nasty smell was.
Farting in the bath is awesome as you hope everyone downstairs heard it?
Did that as a kid, followed through and had to tell my mum my legs had loads of mud on them when she asked what all the dark stuff floating in the bath was.
There is nothing funnier than a fart in a quiet classroom - FACT.
I'll raise you a 9 year and his 6 year old brother in the local library, back when you used to get 'shushed' if you so much as rustled a page. It was months before mum had the courage to take us back in...
I am on counting duty tomorrow had a good pre match meal with black and white pudding beans bacon and egg should be effective to win in both quantity and quality classes
Comments
Incredibly stereotyped I know. She used to try to stop me shouting and swearing when I was driving as well, bless her. Can't fart, can't swear, what can you do?
a little more tricky when you can't get away and it's obvious where it's come from.
sadly i did once follow through and no i'm not a vegetarian anymore.
One of life's given pleasures and all for free!
One of the few things I can do to a world class level. My nickname at school was "Farmer fartalot of Camelot". The first few bars of Onward Christian Soldiers is a speciality when the conditions are correct.
Forty a day? That's just not trying hard enough...
But you must fart on every step
Having been married 30 years, I can assure you she lied.
Think that courtesy was soon binned though...
Obviously, he won. But can anyone think of a better pre-match meal than that?
Didnt convince her, sadly.