[cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]
the fact that she is my age, has no kids and seemingly very little baggage seems too good to be true.
There is a word for it my friend and that word is lesbian.
Ha ha ha quality.
Ketman - if you don't mind me asking, what do you and this girl work as? Are you literally side by side every day in the same office, or do your paths just cross from time to time?
How well do you know her and her interests? And have you been given any hint hat she might like you?
She works downstairs in a seperate office, we chat most days when I bump into her at the Tea area, I have no reason to think she may be interested, she's probably just a really friendly person. Got to know a little about her over the last year or so.
It seems like the most easiest thing in the world to just go up to her & ask her out for a drink after work one day & when you type it out like that it is. Thing is stuff like that I find probably the hardest thing to do in the world, would rather sing in front of 10,000 people (I cannot sing BTW) than do something like this. She's so nice she would probably really let me down in a nice way at worst, but it still makes it tough to do.
Fair enough, if you worked alongside her every day then i'd have been a bit cautious but as you only see her in the tea area, i'd go for it and just ask her out for a drink face to face.
If its a confidence thing then read 'The Game'. Just finished it and it strangely gives you a bit of confidence to approach people. Dont use the magic tricks tho ;-)
It sounds to me like you need some coaching. I'm not talking "the game". The only end result of this is that either you're going to get a date, or you wont but she'll still be flattered that you asked her out.
As said above dont make a big deal about it (whether she says yes or no) , make it casual. Tell her you got a spare ticket to something and ask her if she wants to come. (That way is seems less like you went out of your way to ask her out and it was more chance that you got the ticket).
I know that it can be really difficult sometimes to do things like asking people out but let's put it another way.
You ask her out. The worse situation can be a little awkwardness if she says no.
But the other option is you dont ask her out, and every time you see her you regret not having the balls to do it, and you keep regretting it right up until the point she starts dating that idiot Steve who works in accounts, with the bad haircut, and realising that all you had to do was man up and do it.
So yeah, in short, man up, and do it. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, and the single biggest piece of advice I can offer. BE COOL AND TELL YOURSELF THAT IT DOESNT MATTER WHETHER SHE SAYS YES OR NO!
It still means you get to spend a bit of time together find out a bit more about her but you haven't got the pressure that it might be some kind of 'date' and maybe drop it into the conversation casually that you should go out for a drink together while your at lunch, see how she reacts to that?
Failing that just text her when your p*ssed, how does she fancy coming round for a bit of the other? :-)
Go for a bite to eat together at lunchtime .........firstly it's time limited as you both have to get back to work, so if you chat well together and the time just whizzes by, it could easily leave each of you looking forward to a next time.
If she feels okay with you, she'll reveal a little about herself - and you might find it very natural to say that you'd like to meet up again. After all, you would have already broken the ice.
Or she might tell you that she's married, her ex is a psycho, she's got 3 kids and asks if you'll take her to the pub right now ....(!)
[cite]Posted By: Ketman[/cite]She works downstairs in a seperate office, we chat most days when I bump into her at the Tea area, I have no reason to think she may be interested, she's probably just a really friendly person. Got to know a little about her over the last year or so.
It seems like the most easiest thing in the world to just go up to her & ask her out for a drink after work one day & when you type it out like that it is. Thing is stuff like that I find probably the hardest thing to do in the world, would rather sing in front of 10,000 people (I cannot sing BTW) than do something like this. She's so nice she would probably really let me down in a nice way at worst, but it still makes it tough to do.
I'm not advocating stalking...just find out which bar she drinks in/whose leaving do she'll be going to next, make sure you are there and use the opportunity to start chatting, offer to buy her a drink etc - I doubt she'll say no and you'll have a few minutes with her in an uncontrived social setting away from work to suss out whether she's being nice but unavailable or nice and available.
Kets, i think you should walk up to her desk, stick your tongue out as far as it will go, curl it up and start licking your eyebrows, nod and say 'i know', give her a wink and walk away.
wear a white linen suit, pair of hush puppys and pull up outside work in a ford cortina. stroll over to her and open up a bottle of blue nun, light a rothmans and sit back. She'll want you.
[cite]Posted By: Weegie Addick[/cite]I worked with someone for 18 months before he finally asked me out. We've been married for years now...
So you waited for a year and a half like a wallflower thinking, "Come on, sonny ......chop chop, get your act together!!"
At last he finally did.
And they lived happily ever after, once Mr Weegie was converted to Charltonanity.
;o)
Something like that, Oggy, yeah...;-)
It took an evening training course, several evenings of drinks afterwards, him getting chucked, a day at Newbury Races, the Christmas do, him getting off with someone else at New Year, me having a brief fling with an ex Charlton mate to get that out of my system (hope he's not on here!!), a works trip to Spain, me bursting into tears, and finally he got the message and asked to come to Charlton v Kettering...
Ketman get up right now march over there and do it
tell her
Look i have fancied you for ages after work tonight i am going to be in ........... bar and i will wait till 7 if you want to meet me then do if not dont waste my tea breaks any more you teasing beatch
Comments
PMSFL
even more reason to get her mate a 3 up would be on the cards
Explains everything ! .......ha ha.
Ha ha ha quality.
Ketman - if you don't mind me asking, what do you and this girl work as? Are you literally side by side every day in the same office, or do your paths just cross from time to time?
How well do you know her and her interests? And have you been given any hint hat she might like you?
It seems like the most easiest thing in the world to just go up to her & ask her out for a drink after work one day & when you type it out like that it is. Thing is stuff like that I find probably the hardest thing to do in the world, would rather sing in front of 10,000 people (I cannot sing BTW) than do something like this. She's so nice she would probably really let me down in a nice way at worst, but it still makes it tough to do.
and iof she spurns you put it down to the booze
Can we have a Poll on this?
It sounds to me like you need some coaching. I'm not talking "the game". The only end result of this is that either you're going to get a date, or you wont but she'll still be flattered that you asked her out.
As said above dont make a big deal about it (whether she says yes or no) , make it casual. Tell her you got a spare ticket to something and ask her if she wants to come. (That way is seems less like you went out of your way to ask her out and it was more chance that you got the ticket).
I know that it can be really difficult sometimes to do things like asking people out but let's put it another way.
You ask her out. The worse situation can be a little awkwardness if she says no.
But the other option is you dont ask her out, and every time you see her you regret not having the balls to do it, and you keep regretting it right up until the point she starts dating that idiot Steve who works in accounts, with the bad haircut, and realising that all you had to do was man up and do it.
So yeah, in short, man up, and do it. You've got nothing to lose and everything to gain, and the single biggest piece of advice I can offer. BE COOL AND TELL YOURSELF THAT IT DOESNT MATTER WHETHER SHE SAYS YES OR NO!
Good luck.
It still means you get to spend a bit of time together find out a bit more about her but you haven't got the pressure that it might be some kind of 'date' and maybe drop it into the conversation casually that you should go out for a drink together while your at lunch, see how she reacts to that?
Failing that just text her when your p*ssed, how does she fancy coming round for a bit of the other? :-)
If she feels okay with you, she'll reveal a little about herself - and you might find it very natural to say that you'd like to meet up again. After all, you would have already broken the ice.
Or she might tell you that she's married, her ex is a psycho, she's got 3 kids and asks if you'll take her to the pub right now ....(!)
I'm not advocating stalking...just find out which bar she drinks in/whose leaving do she'll be going to next, make sure you are there and use the opportunity to start chatting, offer to buy her a drink etc - I doubt she'll say no and you'll have a few minutes with her in an uncontrived social setting away from work to suss out whether she's being nice but unavailable or nice and available.
Go from there, bon chance etc.
Do you share any interests eg music, comedy? You could say you've got a spare ticket for such and such, and would she like to come along?
I worked with someone for 18 months before he finally asked me out. We've been married for years now...
Good luck, and do keep us posted ;-)
lol
After how many dates do i tell her i'm married ?
1 time out of 50 this works...and i like those odds.
You do when Ketman waits until she's going for a cuppa then stops whatever he's doing and legs it to the tea area
She'll be emailing you within the hour
True, but then she will probably have worked that out, and isn't trying to avoid him....
So you waited for a year and a half like a wallflower thinking, "Come on, sonny ......chop chop, get your act together!!"
At last he finally did.
And they lived happily ever after, once Mr Weegie was converted to Charltonanity.
;o)
Or the fact that you'll fall asleep on the job. Dead giveaway you've been up all night changing nappies.
Obviously a ladies man back in the day Oggy! :-)
What d'you mean, "Back in the day ..." ?
I'm not put out to grass just yet, thanks. *Smoothes tousled hair*
Something like that, Oggy, yeah...;-)
It took an evening training course, several evenings of drinks afterwards, him getting chucked, a day at Newbury Races, the Christmas do, him getting off with someone else at New Year, me having a brief fling with an ex Charlton mate to get that out of my system (hope he's not on here!!), a works trip to Spain, me bursting into tears, and finally he got the message and asked to come to Charlton v Kettering...
But anyway, back to Ketts. Has he done it yet???
Ketman get up right now march over there and do it
tell her
Look i have fancied you for ages after work tonight i am going to be in ........... bar and i will wait till 7 if you want to meet me then do if not dont waste my tea breaks any more you teasing beatch