Dying painfully Rotating heads Blood splattering everywhere Rex the dog sinking his teeth in Drinking Wanting to be Rogered And your door(s) always being open.
Dying painfully Rotating heads Blood splattering everywhere Rex the dog sinking his teeth in Drinking Wanting to be Rogered And your door(s) always being open.
I'm very concerned for your welfare (:
Thanks for you concern @ricky_otto. I guess my life outside Charlton needs reviewing......!
Man breaks into Heathrow (airside) and locks himself in the cockpit of a BA plane.
Heathrow spokesman says " safety and security are our primary concern"
What he means is............
That's very embarrassing for us, especially when we ask all those passengers to strip half-naked to go through a metal detector after putting their bottle of water and aftershave in the bin first.
The lie = We want a room in our house converted into a utility room and shower room and would like you to supply labour and all the materials; and we'll pay you 500 Euros a week until the bill is settled.
The truth = We want a room in our house converted into a utility room and shower room and would like you to supply labour and all the materials; and we'll pay you a bit of money here and there as and when we can afford it as something's gone wrong with our pentions in the UK. Didn't stop you gong Ile de Re for a week though did it.
Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.
What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.
Dying painfully Rotating heads Blood splattering everywhere Rex the dog sinking his teeth in Drinking Wanting to be Rogered And your door(s) always being open.
I'm very concerned for your welfare (:
Thanks for you concern @ricky_otto. I guess my life outside Charlton needs reviewing......!
On reflection I think you could be right - might make an interesting video though.
Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.
What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.
A similar one: Mr Tatters and I go out to work. I have a good day (no sick animals, no mucking out to be done, animals all fed and watered) and manage to get home about lunchtime. Enjoy an afternoon nap, lounging around, logging into CL. Then when Mr Tatters arrives home I say "I've only just got in too. Can you go and get a takeaway, I'm too tired to cook."
Wife - take it easy today, just going shopping and will be a few hours, no need to do anything, put your feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet.
What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.
A similar one: Mr Tatters and I go out to work. I have a good day (no sick animals, no mucking out to be done, animals all fed and watered) and manage to get home about lunchtime. Enjoy an afternoon nap, lounging around, logging into CL. Then when Mr Tatters arrives home I say "I've only just got in too. Can you go and get a takeaway, I'm too tired to cook."
I guess its to teach him to give you a better rogering lol!
Comments
= 'Steve is a wanker'
My boss uses this quite frequently.
(I'm not called Steve BTW)
'He really is a master of the detail.'
= 'Boring bastard'
= He couldn't find another bunch of mugs to pay him anywhere near the same money.
"I hear what you're saying" (but I'm not going to take any friggin notice)
'I think he'll be disappointed when he sees the replay'.
= 'That was the most blatant and embarrassing piece of play acting ever' or ' He has clearly just attempted to end a fellow professional's life'
☺
I wonder how that investigation's going then
You're insane and you frighten me. I'm off...
Cue excruciating pain.
Dying painfully
Rotating heads
Blood splattering everywhere
Rex the dog sinking his teeth in
Drinking
Wanting to be Rogered
And your door(s) always being open.
I'm very concerned for your welfare (:
No it isn't it's bloody cancelled.
Heathrow spokesman says " safety and security are our primary concern"
What he means is............
That's very embarrassing for us, especially when we ask all those passengers to strip half-naked to go through a metal detector after putting their bottle of water and aftershave in the bin first.
The truth = We want a room in our house converted into a utility room and shower room and would like you to supply labour and all the materials; and we'll pay you a bit of money here and there as and when we can afford it as something's gone wrong with our pentions in the UK. Didn't stop you gong Ile de Re for a week though did it.
What she really means is - if you've not hoovered and unloaded the dishwasher by the time I get in I'm going to huff and puff, walk around with a face like a smacked arse for 2 hours and crash plates and cups down on the kitchen work tops.
"We are not expecting any gifts from you"
However....