This morning , the B.O is again in session with Dr Fuckoff (who has kindly agreed to return to do his bit to relieve the B.O from the weighty burden of his current account)
Fuckoff: And zo....let us now turn and consider ze problem of ze hat on ze bench.
( The B.O and Dr. Fuckoff turn and look at the hat on the bench for some moments in silence)
Fuckoff: Zo.... zis hat is vun of your hats. But zis hat is of no use to you. Your head is zimply too big for zis hat. And ze hat is requiring ze shitty shit attention all ze time, it needs ze new brim and ze bit of ribbon round ze crown and you only hef ze 2% of ze time to spend on zis fucking hat. Yes?
( The B.O nods)
Fuckoff: And vee hef discussed at length ze possibility of building a hotel on zis hat, and vee hef both agreed that zis is not practical at zis time. Yes?
( The B.O nods)
Fuckoff : Good. Now, zis is a nice hat. Zis hat vood look good on someone else. Zo vee can sell zis hat. Now. How much can vee sell zis hat for?
The B.O : 70 mill——
( Dr. Fuckoff holds up a finger sternly and looks firmly at the B.O over his glasses. The B.O gives a little cough)
The B.O : £3.50
( Dr. Fuckoff raises his fists in triumph)
Fuckoff : YES!! Vee hef finally got somevaire!
( The B.O looks at him in bewilderment)
The B.O : But there’s a sell on clause, right? And I still own the fucking brim!
Well, let’s leave it there, with some small sign that maybe something is getting through to the B.O finally, and let’s have a jolly decent weekend and hold on to YOUR hats in this wind.
This is great. When the cockwomble finally sells up, are you going to publish this thread? I would buy a copy. You could call it 'The B.O's Diary (Aged 72 3/4)', although by the time he's sells, he could well be 98 3/4 !!!!
This is great. When the cockwomble finally sells up, are you going to publish this thread? I would buy a copy. You could call it 'The B.O's Diary (Aged 72 3/4)', although by the time he's sells, he could well be 98 3/4 !!!!
Book deal, film deal, album deal, musical, docu - The Making of -, website, merchandise, fashion range, guided tours, the lot!
Today we are pleased, this morning to have a world exclusive - the latest statement from the B.O. :
This statement what I am writing right now is a new statement from me, and I am sure you will agree already what a jolly good statement, this statement is. I mean, what an opening, huh! Like, wow, who just wrote that! In fact I reckon this statement is prolly going to be one of the best statements anyone has ever written in the history of statements, and fuck me, it’s only just started! Cheesus, I’m great! Anyway almost certainly by the end of this statement, I will have invented something fucking amazing as well, just by the act of writing this! Like hover dancing shoes or a new type of balloon made out of turnip! Shit u not, I really am a fucking genius! How DO I do all this stuff!
Anyway, it has come to my attention that some people - stupid people with no sense of decency - have been mocking my previous statements and calling them daft old bollocks made up by a complete arse. Well, these people probably piss vinegar for a LIVING, and they are prolly just fed up and really jealous that they are not as great as what I am.
Anyway I’m getting a bit tired now, what with all this statement writing so I’m going now.
Well, thank you to the B.O for another world class statement. Let’s all have a coffee/tea/comfort break, and then get on with our lives.
Day 2075 and 2076. As there is nothing else on for him today, the B.O. he is attending The Annual Billionaire Rivet and Garden Nail Collectors Convention later. They are expecting a packed house and plenty of high spirits, but hopefully not a repeat of last year’s drunken riot and fighting near the end. The B.O said last year’s event ‘absolutely nailed it’, and he believes this one also promises to be equally ‘riveting’. Well, it’s lovely to see a man with an interest to fill his day, eh. Let’s hope we have a productive weekend too. He’s still here. Ohfuckadoodle.
Another fine win, but still the same lack of vision from the top. Another fine win, but still the same old mess behind the scenes. Another fine win, but still frantically papering over the cracks. Ohforcryingoutloudjustsell!
Another fine win, but still the same lack of vision from the top. Another fine win, but still the same old mess behind the scenes. Another fine win, but still frantically papering over the cracks. Ohforcryingoutloudjustsell!
Another fine win does Roland live in sin Another fine win is Roland on the gin Another fine win and Roland isn't a hero Another fine win and Roland is still a zero He’s still here Ohforcryingoutloud
It’s yet another Saturday morning and today Mrs B.O finds the B.O in good spirits as she pops another coffee with special additives along to the shed. ” My dear! “ he says, brightly, “ WONDERFUL NEWS! Some old club I’ve never heard of, have gone to the wall! For once there’s a football story out there that makes me seem ever so slightly less shit! Rejoice! Rejoice at that news!” He does a little dance of joy. ( health warning : do not dwell on that image, side effects include dizziness, vomiting and diarrhoea) Mrs B.O eyes him rather coldly. ” So, to help foster this new shiny image of you as a Less Crap Owner Than It Seemed Last Week, are you going to watch the game today?” The B.O stops and stares at her in amazement. “Oh do fuck off woman!” He exclaims. “What’s wrong with you! I’ve got a new box of rivets to count!”
Well, let’s leave the B.O to count away, and feel some real sympathy for fellow fans in a worse situation than we are. He’s still here, and so are we. Ohthankfuckforthatatleast.
Comments
” Until the 12th of Never....”
This morning , the B.O is again in session with Dr Fuckoff (who has kindly agreed to return to do his bit to relieve the B.O from the weighty burden of his current account)
Fuckoff: And zo....let us now turn and consider ze problem of ze hat on ze bench.
( The B.O and Dr. Fuckoff turn and look at the hat on the bench for some moments in silence)
Fuckoff: Zo.... zis hat is vun of your hats. But zis hat is of no use to you. Your head is zimply too big for zis hat. And ze hat is requiring ze shitty shit attention all ze time, it needs ze new brim and ze bit of ribbon round ze crown and you only hef ze 2% of ze time to spend on zis fucking hat. Yes?
( The B.O nods)
Fuckoff: And vee hef discussed at length ze possibility of building a hotel on zis hat, and vee hef both agreed that zis is not practical at zis time. Yes?
( The B.O nods)
Fuckoff : Good. Now, zis is a nice hat. Zis hat vood look good on someone else. Zo vee can sell zis hat. Now. How much can vee sell zis hat for?
The B.O : 70 mill——
( Dr. Fuckoff holds up a finger sternly and looks firmly at the B.O over his glasses. The B.O gives a little cough)
The B.O : £3.50
( Dr. Fuckoff raises his fists in triumph)
Fuckoff : YES!! Vee hef finally got somevaire!
( The B.O looks at him in bewilderment)
The B.O : But there’s a sell on clause, right? And I still own the fucking brim!
Well, let’s leave it there, with some small sign that maybe something is getting through to the B.O finally, and let’s have a jolly decent weekend and hold on to YOUR hats in this wind.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryinghatsoutloud.
Another fine win.
He’s still here.
ohfacryingoutloud
He’s still here with his life affirming statements.
Ohforcryingoutwhat???
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
Today we are pleased, this morning to have a world exclusive - the latest statement from the B.O. :
This statement what I am writing right now is a new statement from me, and I am sure you will agree already what a jolly good statement, this statement is. I mean, what an opening, huh! Like, wow, who just wrote that! In fact I reckon this statement is prolly going to be one of the best statements anyone has ever written in the history of statements, and fuck me, it’s only just started! Cheesus, I’m great! Anyway almost certainly by the end of this statement, I will have invented something fucking amazing as well, just by the act of writing this! Like hover dancing shoes or a new type of balloon made out of turnip! Shit u not, I really am a fucking genius! How DO I do all this stuff!
Anyway, it has come to my attention that some people - stupid people with no sense of decency - have been mocking my previous statements and calling them daft old bollocks made up by a complete arse. Well, these people probably piss vinegar for a LIVING, and they are prolly just fed up and really jealous that they are not as great as what I am.
Anyway I’m getting a bit tired now, what with all this statement writing so I’m going now.
Well, thank you to the B.O for another world class statement. Let’s all have a coffee/tea/comfort break, and then get on with our lives.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud.
AAARRRRGH! HE STILL IS!
Another good point.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
We don't want him to be here.
He's been offered double the amount what he paid not to be here.
Why is he still here ?
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
Egotwat
Delusionelusion
KnobbyMcNasty
Wrongbollox
Talkshitester
All words i have just made up thinking about that daft Belgian prick.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
As there is nothing else on for him today, the B.O. he is attending The Annual Billionaire Rivet and Garden Nail Collectors Convention later. They are expecting a packed house and plenty of high spirits, but hopefully not a repeat of last year’s drunken riot and fighting near the end.
The B.O said last year’s event ‘absolutely nailed it’, and he believes this one also promises to be equally ‘riveting’.
Well, it’s lovely to see a man with an interest to fill his day, eh. Let’s hope we have a productive weekend too.
He’s still here.
Ohfuckadoodle.
Another fine win.
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingrolandoutloud
Another fine win, but still the same old mess behind the scenes.
Another fine win, but still frantically papering over the cracks.
Ohforcryingoutloudjustsell!
He’s still here.
ohforcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingburyoutloud
He’s still here.
ohforcryingoutloud
He’s still here.
Ohforcryingoutloud
Another fine win does Roland live in sin
Another fine win is Roland on the gin
Another fine win and Roland isn't a hero
Another fine win and Roland is still a zero
He’s still here
Ohforcryingoutloud
It’s yet another Saturday morning and today Mrs B.O finds the B.O in good spirits as she pops another coffee with special additives along to the shed.
” My dear! “ he says, brightly, “ WONDERFUL NEWS! Some old club I’ve never heard of, have gone to the wall! For once there’s a football story out there that makes me seem ever so slightly less shit! Rejoice! Rejoice at that news!”
He does a little dance of joy. ( health warning : do not dwell on that image, side effects include dizziness, vomiting and diarrhoea)
Mrs B.O eyes him rather coldly.
” So, to help foster this new shiny image of you as a Less Crap Owner Than It Seemed Last Week, are you going to watch the game today?”
The B.O stops and stares at her in amazement.
“Oh do fuck off woman!” He exclaims. “What’s wrong with you! I’ve got a new box of rivets to count!”
Well, let’s leave the B.O to count away, and feel some real sympathy for fellow fans in a worse situation than we are.
He’s still here, and so are we.
Ohthankfuckforthatatleast.