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Long Distance Relationships

It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.

Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!

I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
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Comments

  • I assume you live in North or South America or in the Asia Pacific region. Because Birmingham isn't a long distance. Sadly.
  • Birmingham is an hour by train. I know someone who commutes both ways 3-4 times a week from Sidcup.

  • Birmingham is an hour by train. I know someone who commutes both ways 3-4 times a week from Sidcup.


    they need a new job then!
  • Yeah, I know it's not like she's gone to live on Mars but when you're not used to it it's still not exactly "okay, I'll be round in a sec" close.

    Appreciate advice though guys.
  • It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.

    Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!

    I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!

    At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.

    I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.

    My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations
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  • It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.

    Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!

    I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!

    At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.

    I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.

    My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations
    Yes, fair dos. It may well do.

    Yeah, I'm not pushy or anything and get that she will be having the time of her life. Trust me, sometimes I wish we could go a day or two without speaking :-)

    Wow, ouch!
  • I had a long distance relationship when my then girlfriend moved to Japan for a year. The relationship survived but then she decided to stay another year. Then it didn't.

    My experience and of people I know who also had long distance relationships is that they don't survive. Despite improving comms technology today like Skype etc. you can't replace the need for close contact.

    Also if she is off to uni, there is a chance she will be having a great time meeting lots of new friends in a new part of the country for her and whether people admit it or not, this does also have a huge impact. Maybe not the first few weeks or months but over time it changes. I remember going out with a girl in my first term up in Edinburgh and found out she had a boyfriend back in her home town of Cheltenham.

    Sorry to be on the negative side but I have seen it from both angles and, well you wanted some advice.

    On the plus side, Brum isn't too far away (well it's not Japan) and you could keep visiting quite easily.

    Good luck anyway.
  • Ditch her, let her experience Uni life in all its glory

    I did.

    Ended in anticipation of Uni on good terms.

    It lasted 3 weeks then we couldn't do it and have decided to give it a go...
  • I had a long distance relationship when my then girlfriend moved to Japan for a year. The relationship survived but then she decided to stay another year. Then it didn't.

    My experience and of people I know who also had long distance relationships is that they don't survive. Despite improving comms technology today like Skype etc. you can't replace the need for close contact.

    Also if she is off to uni, there is a chance she will be having a great time meeting lots of new friends in a new part of the country for her and whether people admit it or not, this does also have a huge impact. Maybe not the first few weeks or months but over time it changes. I remember going out with a girl in my first term up in Edinburgh and found out she had a boyfriend back in her home town of Cheltenham.

    Sorry to be on the negative side but I have seen it from both angles and, well you wanted some advice.

    On the plus side, Brum isn't too far away (well it's not Japan) and you could keep visiting quite easily.

    Good luck anyway.

    Cheers mate.
  • Stayed with my girlfriend at the time, while i went uni in The States and she was in Southampton. It was hard and probably would have been better for both of us if we were single, as uni life is too be enjoyed to the maximum. Especially when a year after i came back we split up!
  • After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )
  • It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.

    Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!

    I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!


    At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.


    I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.

    My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations
    It's a potential situation that may occur if you're not meant to be, it is not a fact that it will happen.

    Thai's other advice is good though. It is sometimes hard to fit time in to catch up, so make the most of the time you can.
  • I think there is a difference between meeting someone who lives a fair way away, and someone you are with, moving away.

    Having being used to seeing someone all the time, can see that being a lot more difficult.
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  • After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )

    Hahaha.

    I was right last time, she was stringing me along and using a heart condition to do it. Very unique. However, Henry Irving in getting it wrong shocker. : - )
  • Every single person who came to Uni in a long distance relationship broke up with their respective partners, including me

    Sorry
  • After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )

    Hahaha.

    I was right last time, she was stringing me along and using a heart condition to do it. Very unique. However, Henry Irving in getting it wrong shocker. : - )
    That's your version of events, she tells me a different tale. ; - )
  • se9addick said:

    I had a long(ish) term girlfriend when I went to Uni. It didn't work out but that was mainly because we weren't prepared for one thing - people change (plus I was a dick, but let's not focus on that).

    She's going to go through a major personal development phase, don't expect her to be exactly the same person that she is today in six months or a years time. I'm not saying she's going to become a completely different person but people grow, they have to and and there's a good chance you'll still love who she is, but be prepared for that so it doesn't shock you.

    Oh, and whatever you do, definitely don't break up with her before Freshers week!

    I took time off work every now and then to stay with the other half when she was at uni, usually if she asked me to or said she was missing me or family alot.

    The laptop, ps3 and a few other bits came with me to pass time whilst she was in lectures etc, then as soon as her day was done I'd meet up with her and her friends (get on well with them and it improves chances of survival) we'd go out to dinner or drinking etc.

    Remember she'll be dividing time between you, her family and uni. Make some of the time with her family and you mixed and it makes life easier.

    Me and my other half are something of an anomoly these days having been together from a young age. As I said before it will be tough but if you're meant for each other you'll make it work.

    Freshers week I was there at her request, I enjoyed it with her, so much booze, so many laughs and so many memories. I can guarantee that is where many are led astray.

    If she's in halls as opposed to rented accommodation you may find it harder to visit her.

  • The other issue is that I work in the ski industry and can't take time off work between October and March which makes things trickier.

    I suppose the flip side of that is that in the summer when she gets back I can take all my 28 days in one go if I so wish.
  • It won't be so much the long distance that will be the problem - but, just as many have said, she will get into a completely different life style and meet lots of new people and have new experiences. Many relationships fail at this time understandably. I guess it will depend on how close you are now.
    However it can work -I did it ( I was the one that went away), and have been happily married to the same girl for 22 years, although I was the only one on my course who didnt split up with the person they were with before university. Give it a go - you wont know unless you try.
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