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Long Distance Relationships

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  • This thread is unfolding well, it has great potential.
  • It seems to be a common bit of advice about getting to know her new friends - it's advice I'll listen to.

    I am up for a giggle and like to have a laugh and normally get on with people so it should be ok.

    I'm quite close with some of my girlfriend's friends actually.

    It also helps that there is not just this completely different part of her life that I know nothing about.

    Thanks guys.
  • Chizz said:

    I assume you live in North or South America or in the Asia Pacific region. Because Birmingham isn't a long distance. Sadly.

    It's Birmingham,Alabama
  • Posting without reading, but this thread has car crash written all over it
  • shine166 said:

    Posting without reading, but this thread has car crash written all over it

    Dont worry the RAC are already in attendance
  • For what it's worth, of the people I went to uni with, the long distance relationships all lasted through the distance. It was actually when they then moved in together that the relationships broke up. There were people maintaining in London from Leeds, Wales, Liverpool, Ipswich and, um, Basingstoke. All made it comfortably through uni together until the point where they decided to shack up. Take from that what you will. Probably a headache.
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  • Have a break for a few years, plough your way through south London and then get back together after
  • I work in the ski industry

    Hand crafted ski manufacturer or ski lift engineer?

    Otherwise it's an oxymoron.

    :wink:

  • I was single (luckily) when I went to Uni in 1998, but I met a girl at mu university.

    Loads of people in my group had boyfriends/girlfriends who stayed at home.

    Of all the couples that I knew, only one of them lasted the difference and they are still together now.

    There was too much temptation and too much difference in lifestyles. The absent partners generally found it very difficult to cope with the drinking and parties that their partners were taking part in, while they had to go to bed early whilst they kept a job.

    I certainly wouldn't want to be the non-student partner in this situation.

    Later on, a younger girlfriend of mine went to Exeter to do a postgraduate course. So not much drinking and partying for her. That was only for a year and the relationship quickly fizzled out within 6 months.

    IMO it's a lifestyle that it too hard for a youngster. You'd be better off being out with your mates and not having to worry about such a hard commitment.
  • Shagged an Aussie Sheila once who lived in Ealing
  • Got 3 long distance relationships myself
  • Met my GF in sixth form. Live just round the corner and everything was lovely. Then we both got into different Unis. Cambridge (I think you can guess which one of us went there) to Canterbury (uni of Kent not Greenwich) isn't all that far at all. But it was a massive change for us.

    The key thing is getting the balance right to begin with. You will want to go visit her and she will want you to come. But it's important you don't get in the way of her settling in in those first few weeks to a month. Most friendship groups are formed in those first few weeks and if you miss the boat it makes settling in to a new city and adjusting to uni that much harder.

    I'm sure she will settle in fine but my point is don't get in the way to begin with and work out what works for the both of you. Usually you'll work out a system of visits and her coming home and all will be fine. Make use of facetime/Skype etc.

    Worked for me... 4 years later were still going strong..

    My gf was doing a four year course so for this last year she's been at uni while I've been living back at home with the parents (don't do this after uni, it's fucking terrible) and working in London. I imagine this is a similar situation to what you will be in? All I'll say is get used to getting a train to hers from work on a Friday and to work from hers Monday morning. Unis have long holidays so make the most of them. Save some annual leave for when she's around etc.
  • Stay with her mate then find a little local side bit you can chop every now and then without her knowing . Everyone's a winner
  • absence makes the heart grow fonder .. or the total opposite
  • Met my GF in sixth form. Live just round the corner and everything was lovely. Then we both got into different Unis. Cambridge (I think you can guess which one of us went there) to Canterbury (uni of Kent not Greenwich) isn't all that far at all. But it was a massive change for us.

    The key thing is getting the balance right to begin with. You will want to go visit her and she will want you to come. But it's important you don't get in the way of her settling in in those first few weeks to a month. Most friendship groups are formed in those first few weeks and if you miss the boat it makes settling in to a new city and adjusting to uni that much harder.

    I'm sure she will settle in fine but my point is don't get in the way to begin with and work out what works for the both of you. Usually you'll work out a system of visits and her coming home and all will be fine. Make use of facetime/Skype etc.

    Worked for me... 4 years later were still going strong..

    My gf was doing a four year course so for this last year she's been at uni while I've been living back at home with the parents (don't do this after uni, it's fucking terrible) and working in London. I imagine this is a similar situation to what you will be in? All I'll say is get used to getting a train to hers from work on a Friday and to work from hers Monday morning. Unis have long holidays so make the most of them. Save some annual leave for when she's around etc.

    Don't get me wrong wasn't easy. In fact at times it was bloody awful and wondered why I bothered.. we talked about breaking up a few times but decided to stick with it. I'm bloody glad we did..
  • I thought this thread was going to be about Roland and Charlton (or Roland and Katrien)...
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  • sam3110 said:

    Girlfriend moved to Cambridge for a year whilst I stayed in London, isn't a huge distance, but it's tough. Make sure you talk often, facetime or Skype so you can see eachother, and visit eachother once a fortnight/once a month depending on schedules. Oh and we took a week off every 3/4 months and spent that week together, so it's not too bad. Just make sure you have a strong family and friend circle you can go out with etc and they have the same (students don't have this problem really) so you aren't bored as hell.

    Oh and don't give in to temptation, no matter how far away they are, they're just a train journey away if you really can't wait to smash it

    ....and some people say romance is dead.
  • Same happened to me mate. Gf went off to uni in Canterbury whilst I got a job up town. Travel was about 1hr 30 which I guess is similar for you by train.

    We found it worked really well. Essentially we were still very young so not living in each other's pockets seemed to strengthen our relationship.

    We made sure the time we spent together was quality time. Fortunately I had a half decent job so we'd go away once a month etc.

    10 years on we're still together although sometimes I do miss having the weekdays to myself. I think the landlord at my local misses those days too.

    I wouldn't worry about it and go with the flow. If you both really want it to work you'll find a way.

    Ps when we playing golf?
  • Those whose relationships survived these separations obviously never found out about their partners infidelities. :wink:
    Just saying.
  • This last year I had my first year of uni (leaving my girlfriend behind).
    It has worked so far and hope it continues to do so for the next two years.
    I'm not going to lie, its really difficult but worth it. Make sure you make time to talk to her etc. Just because you aren't physically together doesn't mean you can always blame doing things with other people as reasons for not paying attention to each other.
    I saw my gf every 3weeks or so other than during exam periods. Started of as every two weeks but then gradually grew longer. You wont get fully used to it but after a while it gets easier. Also its very easy to argue over each others insecurities but if its meant to be you'll be able to resolve those issues to some degree like we did.

    Hope this has helped!

    As a side note I realised it was harder for my girlfriend (being left behind) as I was having a lot of fun with new friends and freedoms, whereas she was living her normal life but without me around. So maybe mention that to your girlfriend as when I realised this I looked at situations differently!
  • Tell her you want to make a go of it and smash every female in SE London under age 25, just in case it doesn't work out.

    With that advice, is that why you call yourself Covered End?
  • jamescafc said:

    Same happened to me mate. Gf went off to uni in Canterbury whilst I got a job up town. Travel was about 1hr 30 which I guess is similar for you by train.

    We found it worked really well. Essentially we were still very young so not living in each other's pockets seemed to strengthen our relationship.

    We made sure the time we spent together was quality time. Fortunately I had a half decent job so we'd go away once a month etc.

    10 years on we're still together although sometimes I do miss having the weekdays to myself. I think the landlord at my local misses those days too.

    I wouldn't worry about it and go with the flow. If you both really want it to work you'll find a way.

    Ps when we playing golf?

    Thanks mate.

    Yes need to get something sorted re: golf.

    Think I'll hit the range before I commit to anything - it's been a while... :-)
  • jamescafc said:

    Same happened to me mate. Gf went off to uni in Canterbury whilst I got a job up town. Travel was about 1hr 30 which I guess is similar for you by train.

    We found it worked really well. Essentially we were still very young so not living in each other's pockets seemed to strengthen our relationship.

    We made sure the time we spent together was quality time. Fortunately I had a half decent job so we'd go away once a month etc.

    10 years on we're still together although sometimes I do miss having the weekdays to myself. I think the landlord at my local misses those days too.

    I wouldn't worry about it and go with the flow. If you both really want it to work you'll find a way.

    Ps when we playing golf?

    Thanks mate.

    Yes need to get something sorted re: golf.

    Think I'll hit the range before I commit to anything - it's been a while... :-)
    Funny how the bachelor lifestyle starts creeping out already
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Roland Out!