I went through this 10 years ago, My then GF went to Brighton Uni so not to far away but it lasted 6 months after she left and that was probably 3 months to long.
We both changed after a few months after her going, she quite rightly wanted to enjoy Uni life and I felt that it was it was me making all the sacrifices to ensure we see each other and started missing my social life and weekends, we tried to not put so much pressure on seeing each other every weekend and it was then that I realised I was enjoying my weekends not seeing her a lot my than my weekends with her.
If I could give you any advice it would be to try and not think you have to spend every weekend free together and still ensure you do the things you like to do and get a balance that suits you both.
I think you will also have to accept she is going to be meeting loads of new people and now have a life your not really part off but you need to be supportive and happy for her and not make her feel guilty for enjoying the experience.
It did not work for me but I do think looking back even if she had not gone to uni we would of fizzed out anyway,
If you want someone a bit closer I'm happy to do a swap. I'll move to Birmingham and you can have my 52 year old wife down here. Cash adjustment obviously - but I won't want too much.
Think there's a lot of good advice here but it's not all doom and gloom. You can make a success of it, it just takes more dedication than either of you will be used to.
If you both want to carry on together, you will find a way to do so. Be prepared for it to be hard but make time for each other. Have a flexible schedule: eg FaceTime every Wednesday, she visits home once a month, you go to Birmingham once a month.
My relationship went long distance two years ago after my girlfriend went home to Texas, following six months of time together while she studied here. It's not been easy but we make time for each other, and there's now light at the end of the long-distance tunnel: I should be moving out there for good in 6-9 months to be with her again.
Yeah, the bottom line is that everyone knows that relationships are a two-way thing and both sides need to make the effort. With long distance it's just about putting in that little bit more than you did before.
Because although it's sometimes easy to say sod it and give up on it all, you find so many reasons to keep going. :-)
Anyone who doesn't know Margot Robbie should watch Wolf of Wall Street... NOW... LIKE SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU STILL READING?
ah ok you're at work... Get on google when not at work... it's probably not safe to search the term 'margot robbie wolf of wall street' at work... Yet the term is so safe sounding... it's cruel isn't it.
Think there's a lot of good advice here but it's not all doom and gloom. You can make a success of it, it just takes more dedication than either of you will be used to.
If you both want to carry on together, you will find a way to do so. Be prepared for it to be hard but make time for each other. Have a flexible schedule: eg FaceTime every Wednesday, she visits home once a month, you go to Birmingham once a month.
My relationship went long distance two years ago after my girlfriend went home to Texas, following six months of time together while she studied here. It's not been easy but we make time for each other, and there's now light at the end of the long-distance tunnel: I should be moving out there for good in 6-9 months to be with her again.
Yeah, the bottom line is that everyone knows that relationships are a two-way thing and both sides need to make the effort. With long distance it's just about putting in that little bit more than you did before.
Because although it's sometimes easy to say sod it and give up on it all, you find so many reasons to keep going. :-)
Best of luck to you, it can be done, it just depends on what kind of teenagers you are. My girlfriend and I survived uni without issues, but I had my place for her to stay and she came more or less every weekend, and we are 3 and a half years in now. It can work, it just depends on the type of people you are. Funnily enough she was at Aston (Birmingham) and with a student railcard if you go at the right time you can get into Euston for £3.95... It needn't be too much of an issue, if you are willing to make the commitment.
Best of luck to you, it can be done, it just depends on what kind of teenagers you are. My girlfriend and I survived uni without issues, but I had my place for her to stay and she came more or less every weekend, and we are 3 and a half years in now. It can work, it just depends on the type of people you are. Funnily enough she was at Aston (Birmingham) and with a student railcard if you go at the right time you can get into Euston for £3.95... It needn't be too much of an issue, if you are willing to make the commitment.
Unfortunately the problem with my failed marriage... long distance. I wanted it based on a 1950's model and she wanted something more relevant to the 21st century... bitch!
For a time I moved my wife into the East wing whilst I redecorated the West to my own tastes. Was a bit of a bugger when I needed a cup of tea, as she had to traverse the long corridor, but otherwise we got on fine.
I had a long(ish) term girlfriend when I went to Uni. It didn't work out but that was mainly because we weren't prepared for one thing - people change (plus I was a dick, but let's not focus on that).
She's going to go through a major personal development phase, don't expect her to be exactly the same person that she is today in six months or a years time. I'm not saying she's going to become a completely different person but people grow, they have to and and there's a good chance you'll still love who she is, but be prepared for that so it doesn't shock you.
Oh, and whatever you do, definitely don't break up with her before Freshers week!
I took time off work every now and then to stay with the other half when she was at uni, usually if she asked me to or said she was missing me or family alot.
The laptop, ps3 and a few other bits came with me to pass time whilst she was in lectures etc, then as soon as her day was done I'd meet up with her and her friends (get on well with them and it improves chances of survival) we'd go out to dinner or drinking etc.
Remember she'll be dividing time between you, her family and uni. Make some of the time with her family and you mixed and it makes life easier.
Me and my other half are something of an anomoly these days having been together from a young age. As I said before it will be tough but if you're meant for each other you'll make it work.
Freshers week I was there at her request, I enjoyed it with her, so much booze, so many laughs and so many memories. I can guarantee that is where many are led astray.
If she's in halls as opposed to rented accommodation you may find it harder to visit her.
Listen to this guy, Dazzler is spot on about so many things.
I got through a relationship where I was at home and she was at Uni. Truth be told it wasn't as hard as I expected, in fact I think moving in together was more stressful.
If I can suggest one thing, meet up with her uni friends and win them over. I think I did that within 2 weeks, and by the end of the first semester I was getting Facebook messages asking me when I'm coming up and whether I wanted tickets to any events.
You mention working, that's probably going to help you too. I think I was working for the final year or two whilst she was at Uni, and that kept me busy, gave me a routine and ensured I was having a social life/shits-n-giggles too. It also gives you beer tokens for when you visit.
As for keeping in contact, we emailed like we were penpals but still rang nearly everyday - with constant texts. The emails began as a nice little surprise for her to wake up too occasionally, but then became two way. There's so many decent apps now that keeping in contact probably isn't worth to much worry.
On the plus side, it's going to be a lot easier to stay in touch now than say 10-15 years ago what with the likes of facetime, skype, snapchat and whatsapp about these days etc
Comments
We both changed after a few months after her going, she quite rightly wanted to enjoy Uni life and I felt that it was it was me making all the sacrifices to ensure we see each other and started missing my social life and weekends, we tried to not put so much pressure on seeing each other every weekend and it was then that I realised I was enjoying my weekends not seeing her a lot my than my weekends with her.
If I could give you any advice it would be to try and not think you have to spend every weekend free together and still ensure you do the things you like to do and get a balance that suits you both.
I think you will also have to accept she is going to be meeting loads of new people and now have a life your not really part off but you need to be supportive and happy for her and not make her feel guilty for enjoying the experience.
It did not work for me but I do think looking back even if she had not gone to uni we would of fizzed out anyway,
London to Birmingham is serviced by 3 different operators, pictures of their usual rolling stock for this line below...
Phwoar.
Original:
If you both want to carry on together, you will find a way to do so. Be prepared for it to be hard but make time for each other. Have a flexible schedule: eg FaceTime every Wednesday, she visits home once a month, you go to Birmingham once a month.
My relationship went long distance two years ago after my girlfriend went home to Texas, following six months of time together while she studied here. It's not been easy but we make time for each other, and there's now light at the end of the long-distance tunnel: I should be moving out there for good in 6-9 months to be with her again.
Yeah, the bottom line is that everyone knows that relationships are a two-way thing and both sides need to make the effort. With long distance it's just about putting in that little bit more than you did before.
Because although it's sometimes easy to say sod it and give up on it all, you find so many reasons to keep going. :-)
ah ok you're at work... Get on google when not at work... it's probably not safe to search the term 'margot robbie wolf of wall street' at work... Yet the term is so safe sounding... it's cruel isn't it.
Both get on with your lives and make most of time when you do meet up but don't put too much pressure on to meet up too regularly.
I got through a relationship where I was at home and she was at Uni. Truth be told it wasn't as hard as I expected, in fact I think moving in together was more stressful.
If I can suggest one thing, meet up with her uni friends and win them over. I think I did that within 2 weeks, and by the end of the first semester I was getting Facebook messages asking me when I'm coming up and whether I wanted tickets to any events.
You mention working, that's probably going to help you too. I think I was working for the final year or two whilst she was at Uni, and that kept me busy, gave me a routine and ensured I was having a social life/shits-n-giggles too. It also gives you beer tokens for when you visit.
As for keeping in contact, we emailed like we were penpals but still rang nearly everyday - with constant texts. The emails began as a nice little surprise for her to wake up too occasionally, but then became two way. There's so many decent apps now that keeping in contact probably isn't worth to much worry.