Things that will happen before we sign someone....

LouisMend

I'll fix that shelf in the bathroom

seth plum

LouisMend said:

I'll fix that shelf in the bathroom

Got to have somewhere for your toenail varnish i suppose.

DamoNorthStand

Karlan Ahearne-Grant will score a penalty.

ForeverAddickted

I'll get married!!

cafcfan

Australia, moving northwards at the rate of 7 cm a year, will bump into Papua New Guinea.

masicat

There will be news of the club selling.

JiMMy 85

Before we sign someone, we'll come up with every combination possible in a deck of cards.

eaststandmike

Nicky Baily's penalty will return to earth.

Dazzler21

I'll buy my next house and my fiancée will have our first child.

StigThundercock

Satan will need amputation for his frostbitten extremities.
HS2 will be running to time with predominantly full but not overcrowded carriages.
The decision not to build anymore fucking runways at airports in already fully developed areas south and southwest of London will have been ratified.
King William III and HRH George The Prince of Wales will have landed safely from their self-piloted trip to the topping out ceremony of their new holiday home on Mars.

soapy_jones

I found a bunch of petunias growing from my arse crack this morning. Last time that happened we signed Phil Warman. Just our luck it will be Phil again, no disrespect to the legend but i reckon he's in his late sixties now...

BR7_addick

Another 3 will be sold for an undisclosed fee.

BR7_addick

I will "like" one of @Leuth 's posts on a political thread.