How old now is the person you had sex with first.
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Depends how scruffy he was.cafcdave123 said:
Depends how long she was grooming him for?Dazzler21 said:
He could have been 18 and she would have been 33.cafcdave123 said:
Is this why you took offence when someone made the "paedophiles are all remainers" comment?iainment said:I'm 61. She's now 76.
My word.
As you were once a paedo's play thing?
Is that really that bad? if it were the other way, I have no doubt people would be calling him a 'Lad' for it.3 -
This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?
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Came here to post a joke about it being in cat years. Found two people had beaten me to it. Fundamentally disappointed.
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Looks like @AFKABartram 's wife caught him typing something.AFKABartram said:.
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I've given you a LOL in sympathy.Garrymanilow said:Came here to post a joke about it being in cat years. Found two people had beaten me to it. Fundamentally disappointed.
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Brilliant, despite going on to marry and have children with your then Bird, you regret not cheering on her!Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?
Internet high five brother!0 -
Ah, but did she have a cat though?Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?0 -
She was his cat...ricky_otto said:
Ah, but did she have a cat though?Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?0 -
Utterly bizarre. Who's asks strangers questions like this on a football forum?6
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That would explain the bit where she jumped on him for no reasoncafcdave123 said:
She was his cat...ricky_otto said:
Ah, but did she have a cat though?Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?2 -
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And she always used to go to the toilet in somebody else's garden.Garrymanilow said:
That would explain the bit where she jumped on him for no reasoncafcdave123 said:
She was his cat...ricky_otto said:
Ah, but did she have a cat though?Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?0 -
This thread is bizarre, disgusting and captivating in equal measure. I love it.8
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Did you lay back after and light up a catnip bifta, blowing smoke rings into the are, while she stuck a leg in the air and licked away any "mess"?12
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Can I like, lol and flag this?!i_b_b_o_r_g said:Did you lay back after and light up a catnip bifta, blowing smoke rings into the are, while she stuck a leg in the air and licked away any "mess"?
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The romance in this post brought a tear to my eye.Brendan_O_Connell said:This thread reminds me of when I started working in the city. I was in my early 20s and had just got with my girlfriend (who 18 years (and three kids)later is now my wife). There was a bird in the office (can't remember her name) who was about 35. We were out one evening and it was getting late and just the two of us were left in the pub. We left at closing time and were walking down near Ludgate Circus and she literally just jumped on me. She said she lived near Euston station and it would take ten minutes in a cab to get back to her place.
I'm not gonna lie.....I bottled it. I thought 35 was well old and didn't want things to be awkward at work afterwards.
I still regret that decision to this day. I'm pretty sure she was an absolute filthbag and I'd have probably had the ride of my life. Hindsight eh?16 -
This is quite possibly the most laziest police investigation into historic underage sex ever. And so far all its proved is that one bloke has had sex with a cat.22
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Wish I could LOL this more than once.i_b_b_o_r_g said:Did you lay back after and light up a catnip bifta, blowing smoke rings into the are, while she stuck a leg in the air and licked away any "mess"?
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There's a pussy joke in here but I'm not witty enough to think of it, so can you all just LOL me on the basis that I pointed out the potential for humour?Karim_myBagheri said:This is quite possibly the most laziest police investigation into historic underage sex ever. And so far all its proved is that one bloke has had sex with a cat.
Cheers x2 -
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Flagged for laziness.PaddyP17 said:
There's a pussy joke in here but I'm not witty enough to think of it, so can you all just LOL me on the basis that I pointed out the potential for humour?Karim_myBagheri said:This is quite possibly the most laziest police investigation into historic underage sex ever. And so far all its proved is that one bloke has had sex with a cat.
Cheers x5 -
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About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.21
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I wonder if she still does it? Would help a few of us out in the "let's get stoned thread"happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
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What is hand relief?happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
At present I have tennis elbow and is sore beyond words. Perhaps this lady has a cure.3 -
How old is the first the first mushroom you ever ate and is it safe to sleep with this girl............2
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Coincidently so does she!ElfsborgAddick said:
What is hand relief?happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
At present I have tennis elbow and is sore beyond words.
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Sadly my first passed away in 2001 , she was only 23 at the time of her death ! It was a tragic loss , I was still friends with her when she went way to soon! RIP Kelly!0
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Did you misread the OP Elf's? The lads had to part with money....ElfsborgAddick said:
What is hand relief?happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
At present I have tennis elbow and is sore beyond words. Perhaps this lady has a cure.0 -
25, now we've moved in with each other. Not the only person i've slept with and we spent a few years apart after the fact but no one's come close to her.0
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I had tennis elbow a couple of years ago. I'm sure it was due to carrying heavy items with a straight arm.ElfsborgAddick said:
What is hand relief?happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
At present I have tennis elbow and is sore beyond words. Perhaps this lady has a cure.
Stop carrying heavy items or if you have to, ensure you keep your elbow bent.
Mine cleared up quickly once I did this, after nagging me for years.0 -
Must be his wallet that heavy item.Covered End said:
I had tennis elbow a couple of years ago. I'm sure it was due to carrying heavy items with a straight arm.ElfsborgAddick said:
What is hand relief?happyvalley said:About 65. She was in my year at secondary school & used to give lads hand relief for their dinner money. I have often wondered what became of her ( probably a millionaire ex prostitute ). And by the way I did go hungry a few times.
At present I have tennis elbow and is sore beyond words. Perhaps this lady has a cure.
Stop carrying heavy items or if you have to, ensure you keep your elbow bent.
Mine cleared up quickly once I did this, after nagging me for years.0
