Toilet Roll

smudge7946

At the risk of sounding low class. I have to share my new discovery. Not toilet roll, but LUXARY toilet roll.

I always used to buy the cheap stuff. As long as it cleared the marmite motorway of wet jobby and didn't kermit I used to think : job done.

I recently was feeling flush whilst in a supermarket and brought the most expensive brand I could find. The difference is amazing. I'd encourage everyone to try. You cant explain the benefit, but your rusty sheriffs badge will thank you.

Just give it a go. 

se9addick

Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing. 

SuedeAdidas

smudge7946 said:

At the risk of sounding low class. I have to share my new discovery. Not toilet roll, buy LUXARY toilet roll.

I always used to buy the cheap stuff. As long as it cleared the marmite motorway of wet hobby abd didn't kermit I used to think : job done.

I recently was feeling flush whilst in a supermarket and brought the most expensive brand I could find. The difference is amazing. I'd encourage everyone to try. You cant explain the benefit, but your rusty sheriffs badge will thank you.

Just give it a go. 

Ahhhhh....I always assumed that you were a Smith?

Now we know that your CL name is because of the state of your pirates after a turnout.

Baldybonce

se9addick said:

Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing. 

We're supposed to be saving the planet. Wet wipes bad.

T_C_E

You lot need to man up!
Edge of the karzy door and get on with your lives.

Pringle

A thread for a*seholes 

Swisdom

se9addick said:

Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing. 

No no no no no

Wet wipes go in the fridge if you have a dose of the "ballrooms"

That is the only time you use them

PS - While we are on the topic of loo roll - it has to be hanging fro mthe front on the roll - NOT on the same side of the wall
PPS - I stand to wipe.  Don't sit - you just can't get enough purchase 

As you were

#pooclub

i_b_b_o_r_g

I only use wet wipes, followed by a precautionary dollop of Aloe Vera gel, in case the piles chose to make an appearance

SoundAsa£

smudge7946 said:

At the risk of sounding low class. I have to share my new discovery. Not toilet roll, buy LUXARY toilet roll.

I always used to buy the cheap stuff. As long as it cleared the marmite motorway of wet hobby abd didn't kermit I used to think : job done.

I recently was feeling flush whilst in a supermarket and brought the most expensive brand I could find. The difference is amazing. I'd encourage everyone to try. You cant explain the benefit, but your rusty sheriffs badge will thank you.

Just give it a go. 

Any particular brand?

DamoNorthStand

Wet wipes are good when its a relatively 'dry' smear in the bum crack.

If its a liquid evacuation then you end up with wet on wet - which can rapidly turn into a poo paste in between your cheeks.

AddickUpNorth

Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.

oohaahmortimer

Cos I go through it (not literally) rapidly with my IBS I buy in bulk from Makro . 
Always bring extra when abroad ,  hotels never give you enough ! 

MrOneLung

Use the bidet you savages.

bolloxbolder

AddickUpNorth said:

Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.

Not just my wife then. Drives me mad. Such a waste.

SuedeAdidas

Swisdom said:

se9addick said:

Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing. 

No no no no no

Wet wipes go in the fridge if you have a dose of the "ballrooms"

That is the only time you use them

PS - While we are on the topic of loo roll - it has to be hanging fro mthe front on the roll - NOT on the same side of the wall
PPS - I stand to wipe.  Don't sit - you just can't get enough purchase 

As you were

#pooclub

+1 for the stand up wiping club. 

The only problem with luxury bog roll is the potential for blocking the shitter. Especially if you are a scruncher (like me). 

happyvalley

Has anyone noticed there is less paper on a roll these days? They have made the diameter of the tube considerably larger on the brand my wife buys.

MrOneLung

Sod standing up.

Sit down, raise balls, wipe from back to the front.

Baldybonce

happyvalley said:

Has anyone noticed there is less paper on a roll these days? They have made the diameter of the tube considerably larger on the brand my wife buys.

I think you might be using a kitchen roll.

DA9

Just to add to the debate, anyone, and I mean anyone, who does the under is a heathen and a reprobate........FACT 

man_at_milletts

Wet wipes are useless if you've just had a poonami.

charltonJ

Standing up wiping? Are you 5 years old? Gross 

Raith_C_Chattonell

Swisdom said:

se9addick said:

Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing. 

No no no no no

Wet wipes go in the fridge if you have a dose of the "ballrooms"

That is the only time you use them

PS - While we are on the topic of loo roll - it has to be hanging fro mthe front on the roll - NOT on the same side of the wall
PPS - I stand to wipe.  Don't sit - you just can't get enough purchase 

As you were

#pooclub

I agree.

I believe there is an historic reason for this too.  When one only had Hobson's choice of toilet roll i.e. Izale, (which for our younger readers - was a bit like grease proof paper and rather harsh to use) the roll could dispense totally with a slightly over exuberant pull.  You'd end up with the whole roll unrolled on the floor.  Statistically this was more likely to happen if the roll unwound close to the wall rather than over the top towards the user. 

Although I don't want to be anal about this, pun intended,  I can also reveal that as a union rep in the 70s I was part of a committee who fought a great wrongdoings.  The office staff in the city BT offices were supplied soft toilet paper, whereas the engineers had to make do with hard toilet paper.  Pleased to say we won, and our case goes down in the annals (see what I done there) of social justice.

3blokes

Seriously guys, what’s wrong with the traditional brillo pad??
I’m still happily using the one I bought in 1975, and I tell you, it’s seen me through several divorces, the gradual disappearance of all my friends, and several cats and dogs that have mysteriously left home.
And as I always say, re-using the old Brillo pad shows a bit of PROPER commitment to saving the planet.  

I’ll be on my way now . 

Stig

I don't remember Izal coming on a roll, but my nan always had it in little packets that dispensed one sheet at a time.  Apart from the complete and guaranteed discomfort of using it, the main thing that I remember is that you could use an entire packet and its hydrophobic properties would still mean your ring piece would still be as grubby as the moment the turtle's head popped out. The other thing is that it always said, 'medicated' on the packet. WTF was that about? Medicated! I don't want medication to be dispensed through a nonchalant smear of baking paper. What was it medicated with and why on earth would anyone want it?

As to the OP, always get the most expensive that you can. It's the only way to guarantee you won't get little bog roll scrolls over the floor. Disgusting. 

soapy_jones

Ringpieces were much tougher in the old days...  bring back Izal!

Pringle

AddickUpNorth

If you survived wiping your arse on school ‘toilet paper’ that doubled as tracing paper then you have my respect.

DamoNorthStand

AddickUpNorth said:

If you survived wiping your arse on school ‘toilet paper’ that doubled as tracing paper then you have my respect.

If you had a shit at school full stop you have my respect.

I managed to go 14 years of primary and secondary avoiding it 

AddickUpNorth

soapy_jones said:

Ringpieces were much tougher in the old days...  bring back Izal!

T_C_E

Stig said:

I don't remember Izal coming on a roll, but my nan always had it in little packets that dispensed one sheet at a time.  Apart from the complete and guaranteed discomfort of using it, the main thing that I remember is that you could use an entire packet and its hydrophobic properties would still mean your ring piece would still be as grubby as the moment the turtle's head popped out. The other thing is that it always said, 'medicated' on the packet. WTF was that about? Medicated! I don't want medication to be dispensed through a nonchalant smear of baking paper. What was it medicated with and why on earth would anyone want it?

As to the OP, always get the most expensive that you can. It's the only way to guarantee you won't get little bog roll scrolls over the floor. Disgusting. 

Izal did come and is still available on a roll! 😂

aliwibble

bolloxbolder said:

AddickUpNorth said:

Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.

Not just my wife then. Drives me mad. Such a waste.

Fellas, you're forgetting that the difference in anatomy means that a larger surface area needs wiping every time the ladies go for a wee, and that's before we get into the joys of period clean-up.