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Toilet Roll
Comments
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CL reaches a new all time low.3
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Errrm.....steady on!aliwibble said:
Fellas, you're forgetting that the difference in anatomy means that a larger surface area needs wiping every time the ladies go for a wee, and that's before we get into the joys of period clean-up.bolloxbolder said:
Not just my wife then. Drives me mad. Such a waste.AddickUpNorth said:Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.3 -
3blokes has left the building
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I am guessing using the cheap stuff inspired your username as well?2
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Which one, 3blokes or aliwibble?0
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aliwibble said:
Fellas, you're forgetting that the difference in anatomy means that a larger surface area needs wiping every time the ladies go for a wee, and that's before we get into the joys of period clean-up.bolloxbolder said:
Not just my wife then. Drives me mad. Such a waste.AddickUpNorth said:Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.
Bloody hell, how to lower the tone.3 -
You just can't beat a ghost poo where you don't even need to wipe. Just pull em up and crack on.1
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I’m never brave enough to just pull em up and go.O-Randy-Hunt said:You just can't beat a ghost poo where you don't even need to wipe. Just pull em up and crack on.
I always have a courtesy dab just in case.
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I've posted this on the best gadget thread but our japanese style arse washing toilet is worth every bloody penny that we paid for it.
Tbh, I thought we was utterly bonkers spending what we did on it (we got a deal on it at the Grand Designs show at Excel when we was doing our house refurb) but it has been life changing.
No lie, the very first time the water jet hits your ring piece I nearly jumped through the ceiling but you soon get used to it.
I dread getting caught short away from home now as you get used to that every day level of hygiene
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Aim and fire0
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I'll be honest. I've got it wrong on a few occasions as my mrs tells me when she's picking my boxers out of the wash basket.SuedeAdidas said:
I’m never brave enough to just pull em up and go.O-Randy-Hunt said:You just can't beat a ghost poo where you don't even need to wipe. Just pull em up and crack on.
I always have a courtesy dab just in case.
However i usually have a rough idea if it's gonna be a ghostie. To be on the safe side, try not to risk it with white undies but if you're wearing darker ones go for it. No dramas.2 -
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You need to made sure that your ghost poo isn't a poltergeist, as it will start throwing shite all over the place.O-Randy-Hunt said:You just can't beat a ghost poo where you don't even need to wipe. Just pull em up and crack on.1 -
This is why this forum is so good. Not only do you get great football insight from so many opinions, you can also learn local history, get betting tips, find out the best tv and movies to watch, get advice on tree cutting or other odd jobs, and also how to wipe your arse. Brilliant.DA9 said:
Just to add to the debate, anyone, and I mean anyone, who does the under is a heathen and a reprobate........FACT
On the under or over, i dont see the difference. This caused a few arguments with my ex coz i really do not see any difference and she would always insist it should be under. When i asked why she said fuck off winding me up you know it should be under. I never did get a reason after 7yrs asking.2 -
Orpington, I hope you are over the pain of your break-up, but I have to tell you it is for the best. Anyone who wants the toilet roll under is a wrong-un. It's simple logistics - the trailing edge must be at the front for an easy grab. Anything else is making life difficult for everyone.2
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I remember the old rule before the days of being married. If you’re planning on staying the night with a new missus, always without fail avoid white underpants and go for a darker pair.O-Randy-Hunt said:
I'll be honest. I've got it wrong on a few occasions as my mrs tells me when she's picking my boxers out of the wash basket.SuedeAdidas said:
I’m never brave enough to just pull em up and go.O-Randy-Hunt said:You just can't beat a ghost poo where you don't even need to wipe. Just pull em up and crack on.
I always have a courtesy dab just in case.
However i usually have a rough idea if it's gonna be a ghostie. To be on the safe side, try not to risk it with white undies but if you're wearing darker ones go for it. No dramas.3 -
Bloody hell is right :-) And trust me, I could've gone way more TMI, but didn't want to traumatize you poor wee delicate flowers.AddickUpNorth said:aliwibble said:
Fellas, you're forgetting that the difference in anatomy means that a larger surface area needs wiping every time the ladies go for a wee, and that's before we get into the joys of period clean-up.bolloxbolder said:
Not just my wife then. Drives me mad. Such a waste.AddickUpNorth said:Just bought 32 rolls of Cushelle for a tenner from Lidl. Bargain! If it was just me that little haul would last for ages but as I have a wife who seems to need half a roll to mop up a few drips so they’ll probably be gone by the end of the month.
Bloody hell, how to lower the tone.
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Im over it thanks. But why wrong un? Easy grab cannot be the reason surely? U can grab toilet roll from any position. If there was a so called correct way surely they would say on the packaging.Stig said:Orpington, I hope you are over the pain of your break-up, but I have to tell you it is for the best. Anyone who wants the toilet roll under is a wrong-un. It's simple logistics - the trailing edge must be at the front for an easy grab. Anything else is making life difficult for everyone.0 -
Which I assume you are flushing, thus contributing further to the pollution of our waterways?se9addick said:Just wait until you incorporate wet wipes, life changing.0 -
I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if we've had this here already.
Why is toilet paper like Capt. Kirk?
They both get rid of Klingons.0 - Sponsored links:
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Dear Mr smudge 7946,
when capitalising a word - particularly when creating a new thread - please ensure that it is spelt correctly.
Yours sincerely, The Grammar Police1 -
He’s always going on about captain’s log.AddicksAddict said:I haven't read the whole thread so apologies if we've had this here already.
Why is toilet paper like Capt. Kirk?
They both get rid of Klingons.1 -
...from this I'm going to take that you're too young to remember the fashion for a stipple effect Artex finish in the loo. Not only did the toilet paper get shredded in the event of an under loading, but often so did the knuckles.orpingtonRED said:
Im over it thanks. But why wrong un? Easy grab cannot be the reason surely? U can grab toilet roll from any position. If there was a so called correct way surely they would say on the packaging.Stig said:Orpington, I hope you are over the pain of your break-up, but I have to tell you it is for the best. Anyone who wants the toilet roll under is a wrong-un. It's simple logistics - the trailing edge must be at the front for an easy grab. Anything else is making life difficult for everyone.0 -
It’s in the small print.orpingtonRED said:
Im over it thanks. But why wrong un? Easy grab cannot be the reason surely? U can grab toilet roll from any position. If there was a so called correct way surely they would say on the packaging.Stig said:Orpington, I hope you are over the pain of your break-up, but I have to tell you it is for the best. Anyone who wants the toilet roll under is a wrong-un. It's simple logistics - the trailing edge must be at the front for an easy grab. Anything else is making life difficult for everyone.0 -
orpingtonRED said:
Im over it thanks. But why wrong un? Easy grab cannot be the reason surely? U can grab toilet roll from any position. If there was a so called correct way surely they would say on the packaging.Stig said:Orpington, I hope you are over the pain of your break-up, but I have to tell you it is for the best. Anyone who wants the toilet roll under is a wrong-un. It's simple logistics - the trailing edge must be at the front for an easy grab. Anything else is making life difficult for everyone.
I don't much like the idea of my hand touching the same bit of bathroom wall that multiple other hands have touched. Then again, I frequently use door handles without a second thought, and shake hands with men in pubs even though I know that 90% of them don't wash their hands after handling their junk in the toilet.0 -
All I’ll say on this subject is you get what you pay for .... you’re welcome0
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People wipe forward??? As in, towards their balls?6
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Correct procedure is -
- One foot on side of bath.
- 2 ply of wetwipe in hand.
- Start at area, just between sack and start of crack.
- Pull back.
- Repeat at least twice, or until no brown can be detected on wetwipe.
- (optional) "Bingo dab" dry the sphincter area using conventional dry toilet paper.
Anything other than the above is incorrect.2 -
- in case of farmers, apply a generous helping of Aloe Vera gel0
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There's a fella in my building (thankfully haven't detected who he is) but by the sounds of it, it sounds like he is sandpapering his arse every time he wipes, with a back and forth motion.
When I'm standing at the urinal having a slash and I hear that poor fucker, I shudder. My arse couldn't stand sort of punishment. I'm too fragile.0
https://youtu.be/LLFyP-3Uy0o
