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Things you’ve noticed/ newly appreciated since the lockdown

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  • That working from home doesn’t work and is only for lazy bastards.
  • The menacing look on my wife’s face as she cuts up beef testicles for the puppies food, she reckons it because they are so tough to cut. 
  • yesterday I left the house/garden for the first time for over two weeks for a prearranged medication pick up. Took the car, roads were pretty much empty.
    10.30 in the morning going along a straight stretch, nice houses one side, fields on the other, as bold as brass a fox strolled across the road 30/40 yards in front of me, strolled mind you, not rushed at all. When it got to the pavement it gave me an 'oh yeah look' and disappeared into the garden of one of the houses. A nocturnal animal out of hiding and not concerned at all. Rare sight even round here in semi rural land. 

     My highlight of what has been a pretty mediocre and mundane week ((:>)
    You should have run the lairy little dick over
    he/she was too quick for me
  • most of the numpties posing as "journalists" on the No.10 daily briefing ask essentially the same question, never listening to the answers already given nor even the answer they get directly - robbing a living every single one of them, if I was D Raab there today I'd have been mocking at least three quarters of them - wasting his time utterly with them, wankers all.
  • I live by the Green/Hook Lane

    Ive noticed less and less cnuts who use Hook Lane as a race track.

    Seriously all night, usually some twunt goes up and down it at 70mph continuously.

    Only reason im disappointed is it now greatly reduces the risk of one the idiots wrapping themselves round a lampost and killing themselves 
  • That my back garden sounds like the Augusta Masters with all the bird song you can freely hear.
    Yet out the front there seems to be an above average amount of twats who think they're Barry Sheene screaming the gonads out of their pissy 50cc hairdryers. 
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  • The weather is gorgeous, the front and back garden are neat and tidy and I’m a
    having a couple of beer. Obviously life could be better but at least the sun is shining.
  • The weather is gorgeous, the front and back garden are neat and tidy and I’m a
    having a couple of beer. Obviously life could be better but at least the sun is shining.
    Same here mate. I’m 2 large Hoeggarden’s in and just lit the barbie.

    I’m actually quite enjoying lockdown and spending time with my family. Having a daily bike ride, followed by weights but will still be a fat bastard when this is all over. Had a Hotel Chocolate deliver this morning that will no doubt be demolished and once the BBQ is done


  • Also noticed I’m hardly getting any Spam email reckon it’s down 90% ! 

    Spam email flying back in now , good couple of weeks or so it was down to virtually nothing ,  now their back on it asking if my penis needs some help etc 
  • Just enjoying the (relatively) peace and quietness outside.

    Living down the road from Kent Police HQ means it can get quite noisy with all the sirens going sometimes.
  • Also noticed I’m hardly getting any Spam email reckon it’s down 90% ! 

    Spam email flying back in now , good couple of weeks or so it was down to virtually nothing ,  now their back on it asking if my penis needs some help etc 
    Sorry to drag the subject to our level but....

    One of my mates is 'out' as a chronic IBS sufferer and as the lockdown happened he had an operation on his nutbag, he has a very amusing way with words anyway this guy and he was telling me how he had been told no ejaculation for 10 days (he broke that and spent the next few hours sobbing) but crucially, living on his own and being also told to shield because of the heightened risk to him from being hospitalised he has been unable to leave his flat to collect any of his IBS pills, this made for some funny stories about shitting himself and resorted to buying a load online from India. He reckons it was tons cheaper than doing a prescription and is now back on the leash as it were. 

    I have no idea where these drugs came from in terms of which supplier but turns out the Indian pharmaceutical industry isn't necessarily the big bad wolf its painted to be. 


  • Suppositories rather than pills, surely?
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  • A pair of jays seem to be nesting building in a tree behind our garden.👍🏻 Not to be confused of course, with The O’Jays and their own blend of seventies soul/ pop fusion. They are not building anything behind our garden. ( I think they might be hard at work on some sort of train 😉 prob Addicks at heart eh 👍🏻)
  • most of the numpties posing as "journalists" on the No.10 daily briefing ask essentially the same question, never listening to the answers already given nor even the answer they get directly - robbing a living every single one of them, if I was D Raab there today I'd have been mocking at least three quarters of them - wasting his time utterly with them, wankers all.
    I’ll tell the missus  ;-)
  • Budapest slug?

    Bloody East European immigrants coming over here and taking our...
  • Our sandwich toaster. Haven’t used it for years but dug it out a couple of weeks ago. Has different plates and we’ve been making Parma ham and mozzarella paninis. Not great for the diet but delicious.
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