Bullshit your mum told you and you still believe it

LennyLowrent

As I was eating my salad this evening I was reminded of one of mum's best:
"Don't eat the stem (stalk..?) Part of the tomato, that is where the tomato is shitting from "...

(No, she's not eligible to vote next Tuesday)

Pedro45

"Eat your carrots - it'll put hairs on your chest!"

FishCostaFortune

'You're a c**t.'

Imnot Athletic

Don't cut your nails on a Friday, its unlucky

Bromley Graham

"Wear a vest under that shirt or you'll catch a cold". 

MrLargo

Bromley Graham said:

"Wear a vest under that shirt or you'll catch a cold". 

My mum turned up twice when I was at primary school to give me my vest that I'd "accidentally" forgotten to put on that morning.

Thanks mum. Obviously giving all of your son's classmates an excuse to spend the day ripping the piss out of him was a price worth paying in order to slightly reduce the risk of me catching a cold. 

shine166

If you fold the washing up when you put it in the tumble dryer, it comes out with no creases. 

Lincsaddick

all good things come to those who wait .. instead of 'get off your arse and go change the world' .. not really, my ol Mum was a bit of a determined grafter

ValleyGary

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

carly burn

shine166 said:

If you fold the washing up when you put it in the tumble dryer, it comes out with no creases. 

 That's some pretty supple crockery your mum had there mate.

MStuartPerm

Bromley Graham said:

"Wear a vest under that shirt or you'll catch a cold". 

This plus don’t go out with wet hair you will catch a cold. 

LargeAddick

'Charlton will win the FA Cup in your lifetime'

DamoNorthStand

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

Jesus I genuinely thought it was - are you telling me it’s all a lie?! 

eastterrace6168

Always wear clean pants in case you get run over by a bus
just in case they check for skid marks

Southbank

When the ice cream van rings its bell it means they have sold out of ice cream

thai malaysia addick

Eating carrots will help you see in the dark (general health advice)
What did your last slave die of? (when being lazy)
Just you wait and see (mild overused threat)
You'll take someone's eye with that (whenever showing signs of boisterousness with anything in the hand)
If I told you to put your head in an oven, would you do it? (if a friend suggested something stupid)
You weren't born in a barn (when you leave a door open)

ValleyGary

DamoNorthStand said:

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

Jesus I genuinely thought it was - are you telling me it’s all a lie?! 

Yeah, it’s a complete myth.

Todds_right_hook

If you pull a face and the wind changes direction, you will stay like it

mistrollingin62

"Don't take sweets from men in cars"

"Don't go in the men's toilets in Danson Park".

"Always wash behind your ears before you go out"

Dizzle

“If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

I can confirm that this is a lie

Lincsaddick

Dizzle said:

“If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

I can confirm that this is a lie

BUT .. do you now wear glasses ? 

Dazzler21

"I'll always be there for you" - Kind of missing the still believe it part. 

DaveMehmet

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

I only recently found out that this is a myth.

CharltonKerry

My mum: if you play sport you’ll be fit for life.

i did. Knees, shoulders, hands and one foot all knackered and can hardly move.

eastterrace6168

DaveMehmet said:

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

I only recently found out that this is a myth.

Bit worrying if you have to put the light on
while driving, are you trying to see the pedals 

KettsJohn

Vinegar dries your blood out

Brendan_O_Connell

Stop moaning!  The Priest does that to all of the children, it's part of being a catholic. 

SoundAsa£

If there’s enough blue sky to make a pair of sailors trousers it’s safe to put your washing out.
Been badly caught out with that several times over the years.🤨🤨🤨

Stig

Todds_right_hook said:

If you pull a face and the wind changes direction, you will stay like it

I've got a mate with a very noticeable lazy eye. He loves saying that he defied his mum just as the wind changed.

DamoNorthStand

Madtiebation mskes tou ho bl8nd

SporadicAddick

mistrollingin62 said:

"Don't take sweets from men in cars"

"Don't go in the men's toilets in Danson Park".

"Always wash behind your ears before you go out"

"Especially if you are going to Danson Park..."