Bullshit your mum told you and you still believe it

Raith_C_Chattonell

I remember having a belly ache.  Mum looked in the medicine cabinet to no avail, so gave me a spoonful of 'chocolate granules.'   She told me I'd be better in 20 minutes / half hour ... and I was.

Looking back I reckon I had a spoonful of Horlicks.  One must never under estimate the power of a placebo.

StubleyAddick

Everytime you hear the music from an Ice Cream van, it means they've run out of Ice Cream.

iaitch

Every time I have Horlicks I get a rash round my mouth!!

suzisausage

'only fat people eat whilst walking along'

lordromford

Er... so do you lot still believe all this bollocks? That’s what the thread says after all!

Silverdreammachine

Come into a room wearing brown (suit etc)
you will go out in black (you will drop dead)!

eastterrace6168

lordromford said:

Er... so do you lot still believe all this bollocks? That’s what the thread says after all!

It's all a bit of fun,.. and anyway who's to say it's all bollocks
eh, don't you believe any of it then

Pavoren007

Don’t put on any clothes that are not completely dry, otherwise you risk catching pneumonia.

I sh*t you not, my Mum used to run the neck rim, cuffs, you effing name it along her mouth to check whether there was anything damp whatsoever on the clothes I was about to put on. How she ever let me in the sea on holiday I will never know...

Addickted

Don't sit on a cold wall or you'll get piles.

I had no idea what piles were.

addickson

Of course you weren’t a mistake

ross1

mistrollingin62 said:

"Don't take sweets from men in cars"

"Don't go in the men's toilets in Danson Park".

"Always wash behind your ears before you go out"

Obviously, I am not the only one to experience something nasty there. When I was about six, I went to Danson Park with my mum, dad and older brother and went to the toilet, I could not find any toilet paper in any of the toilets (this is in the early 50s). I was approached by a man who showed me to a toilet and said there was some paper in there, when I went in he tried to come in with me, I shouted, pushed at him and run out. I was too afraid to tell my parents and never went to Danson Park again until I was a teenager

JohnnyJoeyDeeDee

Never eat ice cream after having fish as it will make you sick (grandma not mum)

AddicksAddict

thai malaysia addick said:

Eating carrots will help you see in the dark (general health advice)
What did your last slave die of? (when being lazy)
Just you wait and see (mild overused threat)
You'll take someone's eye with that (whenever showing signs of boisterousness with anything in the hand)
If I told you to put your head in an oven, would you do it? (if a friend suggested something stupid)
You weren't born in a barn (when you leave a door open)

Did we have the same mother without realising it?

AddicksAddict

Brendan_O_Connell said:

Stop moaning!  The Priest does that to all of the children, it's part of being a catholic. 

I remember when young boys wanted to get into the Clergy.  Now,...

AddicksAddict

Dizzle said:

“If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

I can confirm that this is a lie

"It" being what?  Your Scalectrix set, your football, your dog?

AddicksAddict

One from my Nan: if you eat the peeled peel of an apple, you'll get worms.

So, it's OK to eat the peel on an unpeeled apple, but if you peel it first and then eat the peel, woe betide you.

jimmymelrose

My Mum told me again the other day:

'You were a beautiful baby. You could have won a baby competition'.

I've seen the photos and I believe it. I still have that inner beauty 😉

Actually this thread is weird because if you recognise it as bullshit, why would you believe it?

SuedeAdidas

My dad once told me that if the Union Flag was flying over Buckingham Palace then we could go in and have egg and chips with the Queen 

ProperCharlton

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

I only found out this was a lie last week

Dizzle

AddicksAddict said:

Dizzle said:

“If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

I can confirm that this is a lie

"It" being what?  Your Scalectrix set, your football, your dog?

You know what I mean, come on. Don’t play innocent here.

ricky_otto

Honestly he is your Dad.

tom_k

The dye will appear if you pee in a swimming pool.

Stig

StubleyAddick said:

Everytime you hear the music from an Ice Cream van, it means they've run out of Ice Cream.

Don't you mean the Kipper van?

cafcfan

While my Mum was inclined to use many of the aforementioned daft sayings, she was more well known for just all round silliness.  Asking esoteric questions like "do sheep eat all night" or telling my Dad that sex was not on offer because her thumbs hurt.  (The mind boggles.)

The carrots thing is interesting.  It was of WW2 origin because carrots were actually available.  But if you had a vitamin A deficiency (and you'd think almost all vitamins were marginal at that time) then you could develop "night blindness" and eating carrots would correct that - but only back to regular night vision levels.

Shrew

Once (probably after my mum and dad had a row) my mum was mashing a saucepan full of spuds outside the kitchen door in the garden, I asked her why and she straight away came up with ‘it makes your mash whiter if you mash outside’. Skip forward about 10 years,yep, there’s me in my early twenties mashing spuds outside feeling superior about the wisdom passed on. It really didn’t occur to me my mum was making it up on the spot.

man_at_milletts

Do you shoelaces up, you'll trip over and break your neck.

man_at_milletts

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while dogging

I think this was nearer the truth.

Addickted

Don't go swimming straight after eating or you'll get stomach cramps.

i_b_b_o_r_g

Dad always said when I went out on the town as a teenager - "If you're not in bed by midnight,  come home"

i_b_b_o_r_g

ValleyGary said:

It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 

Lol this is a good one