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Bullshit your mum told you and you still believe it

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  • I remember having a belly ache.  Mum looked in the medicine cabinet to no avail, so gave me a spoonful of 'chocolate granules.'   She told me I'd be better in 20 minutes / half hour ... and I was.

    Looking back I reckon I had a spoonful of Horlicks.  One must never under estimate the power of a placebo.
  • Everytime you hear the music from an Ice Cream van, it means they've run out of Ice Cream.
  • Every time I have Horlicks I get a rash round my mouth!!
  • 'only fat people eat whilst walking along'


  • Er... so do you lot still believe all this bollocks? That’s what the thread says after all!
  • Come into a room wearing brown (suit etc)
    you will go out in black (you will drop dead)!
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  • "Don't take sweets from men in cars"
    "Don't go in the men's toilets in Danson Park".
    "Always wash behind your ears before you go out"
    Obviously, I am not the only one to experience something nasty there. When I was about six, I went to Danson Park with my mum, dad and older brother and went to the toilet, I could not find any toilet paper in any of the toilets (this is in the early 50s). I was approached by a man who showed me to a toilet and said there was some paper in there, when I went in he tried to come in with me, I shouted, pushed at him and run out. I was too afraid to tell my parents and never went to Danson Park again until I was a teenager
  • Never eat ice cream after having fish as it will make you sick (grandma not mum)
  • Eating carrots will help you see in the dark (general health advice)
    What did your last slave die of? (when being lazy)
    Just you wait and see (mild overused threat)
    You'll take someone's eye with that (whenever showing signs of boisterousness with anything in the hand)
    If I told you to put your head in an oven, would you do it? (if a friend suggested something stupid)
    You weren't born in a barn (when you leave a door open)

    Did we have the same mother without realising it?
  • Stop moaning!  The Priest does that to all of the children, it's part of being a catholic. 
    I remember when young boys wanted to get into the Clergy.  Now,...
  • Dizzle said:
    “If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

    I can confirm that this is a lie
    "It" being what?  Your Scalectrix set, your football, your dog?
  • One from my Nan: if you eat the peeled peel of an apple, you'll get worms.

    So, it's OK to eat the peel on an unpeeled apple, but if you peel it first and then eat the peel, woe betide you.
  • My Mum told me again the other day:

    'You were a beautiful baby. You could have won a baby competition'.

    I've seen the photos and I believe it. I still have that inner beauty 😉

    Actually this thread is weird because if you recognise it as bullshit, why would you believe it?
  • edited October 2020
    It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 
    I only found out this was a lie last week
  • Dizzle said:
    “If you play with it too much you’ll go blind”...

    I can confirm that this is a lie
    "It" being what?  Your Scalectrix set, your football, your dog?
    You know what I mean, come on. Don’t play innocent here.
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  • Everytime you hear the music from an Ice Cream van, it means they've run out of Ice Cream.
    Don't you mean the Kipper van?
  • Do you shoelaces up, you'll trip over and break your neck.

  • It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while dogging
    I think this was nearer the truth.

  • Don't go swimming straight after eating or you'll get stomach cramps.
  • It’s illegal to put the light on in the car while driving 
    Lol this is a good one
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