Worried that I haven't heard from @oohaahmortimer on here for a bit... Just checking in...
Appreciate your rightful concern Christmas Day pressure of not being on the khazi cos it’s opening presents time for the kids has thrown me in to turmoil .
7-9am is a big part of the days pooing procedures. So I had to hold it in and throw my bodily functions in to turmoil . Secret Santa delivered two 850g Cadbury’s Dairy Milk that was delved in to for breakfast before Christmas dinner hit home .. I’m now on the pan at a time of day that is not in the usual regime but it’s required cos turkey sarnies and warmed up roast potatoes are calling . could be a long night tonight
You've got to ditch the greasy shitty Cadbury's, @oohaahmortimer. It's doing you no good, mate.
These days it's not even the same stuff we used to eat when we were kids. Cadbury were bought out by an American corporation - and it's only the Cadbury name that survives: now it's American style fake non-chocolate.
Why not try some organic proper chocolate ..... no chemicals or artificial additives to f*ck up your digestion; plus it makes you feel so good!
Had a sumptuous New Years tip out this morning. Just got off the phone to the Coastguard, I said to em "at least put a flag on it mate, it's a danger to shipping!!!!"
Week now since a proper dump. A few laxative assisted squirty ones, but other than that, sod all. Might go to A&E tomorrow (I was going today, but well... the match...).
Week now since a proper dump. A few laxative assisted squirty ones, but other than that, sod all. Might go to A&E tomorrow (I was going today, but well... the match...).
Play like we have been and you will probably shit yourself from the 85th minute onwards
Went for my first 15 minute run yesterday as part of my trying to run marathon in a month. Hit 6 minutes and suddenly got the calling, I knew I was 6 minutes from home so began the run back. By the time I got to my front door I was waddling like John Inman. Just made it to poo bay in time. Had to finish the last 3 minutes running around the flat. If my girlfriend had been in the shitter I would have gone in a pot plant.
Went for my first 15 minute run yesterday as part of my trying to run marathon in a month. Hit 6 minutes and suddenly got the calling, I knew I was 6 minutes from home so began the run back. By the time I got to my front door I was waddling like John Inman. Just made it to poo bay in time. Had to finish the last 3 minutes running around the flat. If my girlfriend had been in the shitter I would have gone in a pot plant.
One of my mates got caught walking back from the pub and had the horror of the single bog being occupied
He ended up shitting into one of his infant sons nappies
Went for my first 15 minute run yesterday as part of my trying to run marathon in a month. Hit 6 minutes and suddenly got the calling, I knew I was 6 minutes from home so began the run back. By the time I got to my front door I was waddling like John Inman. Just made it to poo bay in time. Had to finish the last 3 minutes running around the flat. If my girlfriend had been in the shitter I would have gone in a pot plant.
One of my mates got caught walking back from the pub and had the horror of the single bog being occupied
He ended up shitting into one of his infant sons nappies
Went for my first 15 minute run yesterday as part of my trying to run marathon in a month. Hit 6 minutes and suddenly got the calling, I knew I was 6 minutes from home so began the run back. By the time I got to my front door I was waddling like John Inman. Just made it to poo bay in time. Had to finish the last 3 minutes running around the flat. If my girlfriend had been in the shitter I would have gone in a pot plant.
One of my mates got caught walking back from the pub and had the horror of the single bog being occupied
He ended up shitting into one of his infant sons nappies
Comments
These days it's not even the same stuff we used to eat when we were kids.
Cadbury were bought out by an American corporation - and it's only the Cadbury name that survives: now it's American style fake non-chocolate.
Why not try some organic proper chocolate ..... no chemicals or artificial additives to f*ck up your digestion; plus it makes you feel so good!
Not in a bad or malicious way at all but after every smooth, long, tapered stool I birth I'm thinking
Chances of @oohaahmortimer doing one of these 1%
Chances of a sloppy one from degrees of type 10 on the Bristol to vesuvius 99%
Ordinance Survey will be on the phone next...
'Constipation or the Trots, what is worse?'
He ended up shitting into one of his infant sons nappies
https://forum.charltonlife.com/discussion/33634/needing-to-go