A little puff of wind, coming from the heart, On it's journey downwards is commonly called a fart, A fart is good for everyone; gives everybody ease, It warms the bed in winter and is music to the fleas.
Shurley its "A tender little message, sent lovingly from the heart travels down the backbone, and ends up as a fart. Now a fart is a beautiful thing, it gives the body ease It warms the bed in winter, and suffocates the fleas"
Weren't there one about Hitler only having one ball and the other being in the Albert Hall?
Hitler, he only had one ball Goring had two but very small The other, is in a French Town Hall. Himmler had something similar But poor old Goeballs had no balls at all
Mary had a little lamb, she thought it was so silly, She threw it up into the air and caught it by its… Willy was a bulldog sitting on the grass, Along came a bumblebee and stung him up the.. Ask no questions tell no lies, Ever seen a copper doing up his… Flies are a nuisance, Fleas are worse, That is the end of my little verse!
In my opinion one of the great sounds in the world, and it seems to be the same everywhere, is that of children between the ages of about 5 and 11 in their school playgrounds at lunchtime and playtime. I believe there is a mysterious hinterland culture at that time in the lives of children which is hugely rich and important that many adults disregard and judge to be not very serious. When I started my post A-level studies in 1971 I bought this book (first published in 1959), and there are companion books from the writers Iona and Peter Opie.
My copy is well thumbed and falling apart now, but I have always found it to be a treasure.
Here is an example from inside the book, which is an academic work as much as anything:
What did you shout out, when you wanted to be first at something?
For me and my mates in the 1970s it was always 'Bagsy!"(bagsee). My mum and dad (1930s) said that they shouted 'Bags I' (bags eye). My kids (2000s) shouted 'Bugsy' or for reasons that seemed inexplicable to me 'Shotgun'.
Allee in, Allee in, when you picked up sides for football going round in the playground with both arms round the shoulders of the kids next to you and the fat kids went in goal 'cos they were picked last.
What did you shout out, when you wanted to be first at something?
For me and my mates in the 1970s it was always 'Bagsy!"(bagsee). My mum and dad (1930s) said that they shouted 'Bags I' (bags eye). My kids (2000s) shouted 'Bugsy' or for reasons that seemed inexplicable to me 'Shotgun'.
Bagsy.
Shotgun is only for getting front passenger seat of the car
Comments
BATMAAAAN!
Swinging on a rubber band
Fell into a pot of jam
Along came spiderman
Took him for the bogeyman
and
ATE HIIIIIIM!
The more you eat them,the more you fart
The more you fart, the better you feel
So eat Heinz’s beans with every meal.
Batman smells
Robin run away.
The Batmobile lost its wheel
On the Milky Way.
"Not Fade Away"
Beware this bog is made of glass
Do de doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Don't sit down you'll cut your a*se
On the bog you must not linger
Do de doo doo doo, doo doo doo
If you do you'll lose your finger
Here comes ambulance number one
Do de doo doo doo, doo doo doo
Stitches all the way up your bum
The more you eat, the more you fart
The more you fart the more you eat
The more you sit on the toilet seat
Who had a peculiar feeling
She lay on her back, and opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling
Goring had two but very small
Himmler had something similar
But poor old Goeballs had no balls at all
here I sit broken hearted,
paid a penny and only farted!
Got in for nothing
A did a cartfull
Had a canary
Up the leg of her drawers,
When she farted
It departed
To a round of applause.
That's the version I remember.
"A tender little message, sent lovingly from the heart
travels down the backbone, and ends up as a fart.
Now a fart is a beautiful thing, it gives the body ease
It warms the bed in winter, and suffocates the fleas"
@John Betjeman
And round the corner
That’s the way
To California
she thought it was so silly,
She threw it up into the air and caught it by its…
Willy was a bulldog sitting on the grass,
Along came a bumblebee and stung him up the..
Ask no questions tell no lies,
Ever seen a copper doing up his…
Flies are a nuisance,
Fleas are worse,
That is the end of my little verse!
Hitler, has only got one ball
The other, is in the Albert Hall
His mother, the dirty bugger,
cut it off, when he was small
Virtue is a grace.
Grace is a little girl who wouldn't wash her face.
It's for coughs and colds and scabby holes and pimples round your willy.
I believe there is a mysterious hinterland culture at that time in the lives of children which is hugely rich and important that many adults disregard and judge to be not very serious.
When I started my post A-level studies in 1971 I bought this book (first published in 1959), and there are companion books from the writers Iona and Peter Opie.
Here is an example from inside the book, which is an academic work as much as anything:
all mixed up with dead dog's eye
Cat's guts spread thick
goes down well with a cold cup of sick
For me and my mates in the 1970s it was always 'Bagsy!"(bagsee). My mum and dad (1930s) said that they shouted 'Bags I' (bags eye). My kids (2000s) shouted 'Bugsy' or for reasons that seemed inexplicable to me 'Shotgun'.
Some come here to shit and stink
But I come here to scratch my balls
And read the writing on the walls
That's cheating.