Whenever I open the fridge or freezer I say "cool" and do a stupid thumbs up. Whenever I get the cheese grater out of the cupboard i say "grate" in a birmingham accent, just because it amuses me no end. Nobody even needs to be present for these things to happen, as long as the dog is somewhere about. The cheese grater is his favourite utensil anyway. I swear that dog can hear it coming out of the cupboard and distinguish it from any other implement even when he's upstairs. By the time i say grate, he's at the kitchen door asking for cheese.
I am known for not putting the butter back in the fridge, which i am reminded about every time Mrs Idle goes into the kitchen and shouts "Butter!" at the top of her voice. Apparently that annoys her.
I have my phone's font as comic sans as it winds up people and I don't care and find it funny how much people do. Especially when I share screenshots with my friends 😅
When playing darts, if my opponent beats me down to a double but just can’t take it out and I work my way down with 26s and 41s then take the double first time, I just can’t help going back to my team mates and mutter “never in doubt’ just loud enough for the oppo to hear.
deliberately asking people who have "reserved" the seat next to them with a bag on the train if they can move their bag so that I can sit down, even if there are other seats available.
Whenever I open the fridge or freezer I say "cool" and do a stupid thumbs up. Whenever I get the cheese grater out of the cupboard i say "grate" in a birmingham accent. Nobody needs to be present for these things to happen, as long as the dog is somewhere about. The cheese grater is his favourite utensil anyway. I swear that dog can hear it coming out of the cupboard and distinguish it from any other implement even when he's upstairs. By the time i say grate, he's at the bottom of the stairs asking for cheese.
I am known for not putting the butter back in the fridge, which i am reminded about every time Mrs Idle goes into the kitchen and shouts "Butter!" at the top of her voice. Apparently that annoys her.
I only have to touch the cheese in the fridge, and the dog can differentiate the sound of the wrapping and he's there tail wagging and looking hopeful.
When I was in my 30s, my wife and I went into our bank because she was going out and needed some money. She was dressed up for the occasion, so I drew out the money in the busy bank, handed it to her and said "sometimes it is cheaper giving the money to my wife than you". It did not go down to well
For years every time my partner said "I'm just going to hop in the shower" I would shake my head, sigh and say "you really shouldn't do that, it's just unnecessarily dangerous". Eventually all I had to do was glance at her and raise one eyebrow for her to huff off.
And when she said "I'll just put the dinner on" I said "can't you just cook it, love? It makes such a mess".
Then I used to laugh for up to 5 minutes.
That was a great relationship, I wish I knew where it went wrong.
Edit. Reading that it looks like persistent coercive control.
Also using "my ex-girlfriend" is a great way to wind them up. "I'm not your ex-girlfriend!" They exclaim, only for you to point out that they indeed are as they are no longer your girlfriend
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It did not go down to well
To annoy people on purpose is a dickish thing to do.
And when she said "I'll just put the dinner on" I said "can't you just cook it, love? It makes such a mess".
Then I used to laugh for up to 5 minutes.
That was a great relationship, I wish I knew where it went wrong.
Edit. Reading that it looks like persistent coercive control.