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Things you do to annoy others
Comments
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Not something I do now, but fully intend to do when I’m retired: go to the shops at lunch time and leave my cart in the middle of the aisle while doddering around looking for two for the price of one offers!6
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SporadicAddick said:deliberately asking people who have "reserved" the seat next to them with a bag on the train if they can move their bag so that I can sit down, even if there are other seats available.2
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Bedsaddick said:Tell People that I’m going on holiday tomorrow.By the way I’m going on holiday tomorrow to Lanzarote. Can’t wait 😜4
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Stuart_the_Red said:Not something I do now, but fully intend to do when I’m retired: go to the shops at lunch time and leave my cart in the middle of the aisle while doddering around looking for two for the price of one offers!Dont forget to try to settle up with a handful of tatty and largely expired newspaper vouchers for things you havent even bought, and pay with handfuls of coins, counted out while the checkout bod sighs loudly and rolls their eyes. Helps if you turn to the building queue behind you and apologise insincerely while smirking inwardly. Goes without saying really, but if paying by card make sure you forget your PIN number until the last attempt, for which you've rummaged your spectacles out of an almost bottomless shopping bag. All this best applies at the 10 items or less 'quick' checkout, of course, even though youve got at least 20.Have to make your own entertainment when youre retired.
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MrOneLung said:Introduce my missus as 'my first wife'1
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Tapping / drumming my feet.0
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Whenevery kids would ask me to put their shoes on I'd say "they won't fit". Gutted when they learned to do it themselves7
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IdleHans said:Whenever I open the fridge or freezer I say "cool" and do a stupid thumbs up. Whenever I get the cheese grater out of the cupboard i say "grate" in a birmingham accent, just because it amuses me no end. Nobody even needs to be present for these things to happen, as long as the dog is somewhere about. The cheese grater is his favourite utensil anyway. I swear that dog can hear it coming out of the cupboard and distinguish it from any other implement even when he's upstairs. By the time i say grate, he's at the kitchen door asking for cheese.I am known for not putting the butter back in the fridge, which i am reminded about every time Mrs Idle goes into the kitchen and shouts "Butter!" at the top of her voice. Apparently that annoys her.3
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Cry on the train on my way to work.3
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Dad jokes and repeating dad jokes! Also repeating jokes in general just annoys everyone.
Holding my wife’s hand in public and dropping half a step behind, and then start walking like a chimpanzee to see how long it takes her to notice. That really annoys her!
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muppetman said:
Holding my wife’s hand in public and dropping half a step behind, and then start walking like a chimpanzee to see how long it takes her to notice. That really annoys her!4 -
Hal1x said:muppetman said:
Holding my wife’s hand in public and dropping half a step behind, and then start walking like a chimpanzee to see how long it takes her to notice. That really annoys her!
I am in tears, picturing the look of horror on her face if I did that!0 -
muppetman said:Hal1x said:muppetman said:
Holding my wife’s hand in public and dropping half a step behind, and then start walking like a chimpanzee to see how long it takes her to notice. That really annoys her!
I am in tears, picturing the look of horror on her face if I did that!4 -
Jumping out and scaring the Mrs1
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Absolutely abuse Nathan Jones.13
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I once told my wife and the kids I could see a ghost behind the tv. They all looked at me as though I was mad. I then said that the ghost was fiddling with the buttons on the tv. They looked me as though I was completely bonkers. Then, the tv went off and they jumped out of their skins. Simple trick: just set the tv to turn off in 30 mins and get the wife and kids in the room 29 mins later.18
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My mates at work telling me to put the kettle on and me saying " It wont fit me " . Used that one for years4
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When the kids/wife are listening to music on Alexa in another room, I use the app to change the song to Who Let The Dogs Out. This has backfired because the kids have decided they like that song and now they play it constantly and it's driving me insane.
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The light switch to our downstairs toilet is on the outside and whenever my wife or daughter are in there I turn it off for a few seconds.19
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Anything I do that annoys my wife is, apparently, done deliberately.4
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North Lower Neil said:I'll start - driving at a few mph under the speed limit for as long as possible when someone tailgates you.
Always fun.0 -
"afternoon" or "half day is it?" if i arrive before or leave after a colleague4
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Saying ‘Pardon?’ whenever someone mentions not being able to hear something or someone losing their hearing. It feels obligatory.7
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golfaddick said:Nothing I hope.
To annoy people on purpose is a dickish thing to do.12 -
IdleHans said:Stuart_the_Red said:Not something I do now, but fully intend to do when I’m retired: go to the shops at lunch time and leave my cart in the middle of the aisle while doddering around looking for two for the price of one offers!Dont forget to try to settle up with a handful of tatty and largely expired newspaper vouchers for things you havent even bought, and pay with handfuls of coins, counted out while the checkout bod sighs loudly and rolls their eyes. Helps if you turn to the building queue behind you and apologise insincerely while smirking inwardly. Goes without saying really, but if paying by card make sure you forget your PIN number until the last attempt, for which you've rummaged your spectacles out of an almost bottomless shopping bag. All this best applies at the 10 items or less 'quick' checkout, of course, even though youve got at least 20.Have to make your own entertainment when youre retired.0
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IdleHans said:Stuart_the_Red said:Not something I do now, but fully intend to do when I’m retired: go to the shops at lunch time and leave my cart in the middle of the aisle while doddering around looking for two for the price of one offers!Dont forget to try to settle up with a handful of tatty and largely expired newspaper vouchers for things you havent even bought, and pay with handfuls of coins, counted out while the checkout bod sighs loudly and rolls their eyes. Helps if you turn to the building queue behind you and apologise insincerely while smirking inwardly. Goes without saying really, but if paying by card make sure you forget your PIN number until the last attempt, for which you've rummaged your spectacles out of an almost bottomless shopping bag. All this best applies at the 10 items or less 'quick' checkout, of course, even though youve got at least 20.Have to make your own entertainment when youre retired.6
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golfaddick said:Nothing I hope.
To annoy people on purpose is a dickish thing to do.8 -
Posting stats on match threads11
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Callumcafc said:Posting stats on match threads5
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This one's old but will work for generations. Refer to a boy's action figures as dolls.1