Work Pranks
Had a good one today:
Started my new job 2 weeks ago then last week 3 guys who i work with including my Line manager kept talking about "Report Week" being this week meaning we would be staying till around 22:00 instead of 17:30, they was talking about different things about it, then today I received a reminder email from the Receptionist also in on the prank about "Report Week", Hung around when I was meant to finish until the other 3 had finished so we could go to the room where we was doing, they went ahead of me whilst I picked something up I got in the room and that's when they told me it was a joke and "Report Week" does not exist.
All week i was dreading finishing so late and I cant believe I feel for it
But revenge shall be mine
Comments
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I have been known to take the bog rolls out the bogs on occasions. Leaving some poor sod who has just had a right out ding dong with the diarrhea not very happy... I am a sick boy lol1
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At Wimpy in Dartford, we used to get newbies to take a fire extinguisher to B&Q to get the water replaced as it had gone out of date.
At Natwest used to send them to various offices in the city to get the Long Wait printouts whereby they would find the person you told them to collect it from and they would then stand by their desk for an hour or more before finally being given some random sheets of paper to take back.0 -
Ah, the classic "Long Wait" joke, I can't believe people still fall for it after all these years!MrOneLung said:At Wimpy in Dartford, we used to get newbies to take a fire extinguisher to B&Q to get the water replaced as it had gone out of date.
At Natwest used to send them to various offices in the city to get the Long Wait printouts whereby they would find the person you told them to collect it from and they would then stand by their desk for an hour or more before finally being given some random sheets of paper to take back.
Billy Connolly tells a great one about going down to the stores at the shipyard at the request of the senior welders and being told to ask for some "elbow grease" and "spotted paint" - he was still there at closing up time!0 -
When I was a milkman, new people would be taken out with an experienced guy to learn the ropes. It was not uncommon for the old hand to pull in to a petrol station and ask the newbie to fill up the float.
It would be stretching things to say hilarity ensued.0 -
And people wonder why our banks needing rescuing.MrOneLung said:At Wimpy in Dartford, we used to get newbies to take a fire extinguisher to B&Q to get the water replaced as it had gone out of date.
At Natwest used to send them to various offices in the city to get the Long Wait printouts whereby they would find the person you told them to collect it from and they would then stand by their desk for an hour or more before finally being given some random sheets of paper to take back.0 -
The old classic - telling a colleague to call back Mr C Lyon and giving the number of London Zoo.
And, of course, other silly names like Ima Pratt....
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We sent one apprentice over the edge when I was in The garage
A young italian tough nut straight from school obviously thought Rocky was real was broken by being sent to the stores for a box of sparks for the grinding machine or some steam to clean the parts or even the chequered paint for the walls but the final straw was the broom through the sleeves of his overalls and then sent 6 ft in the air on the ramp in a crucifix position and spraying the overalls with spray glue which was set on fire! Oh the good old days before H&S!
He turned jehobah after 6 months and sung hymns all day to get back at us
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"You don't have to be mad to work here, but it helps"paulie8290 said:Anyone got funny stories of things they have done or had done to them
Had a big one today:
Started my new job 2 weeks ago then last week 3 guys who i work with including my Line manager kept talking about "Report Week" being this week meaning we would be staying till around 22:00 instead of 17:30, they was talking about different things about it, then today I received a reminder email from the Receptionist also in on the prank about "Report Week", Hung around when I was meant to finish until the other 3 had finished so we could go to the room where we was doing, they went ahead of me whilst I picked something up I got in the room and that's when they told me it was a joke and "Report Week" does not exist.
All week i was dreading finishing so late and I cant believe I feel for it
But revenge shall be mine
Crazy goings on.5 -
We convinced one of the new recruits at a bank, that as a new starter he would have to provide a specimen urine sample for his medical. He was told to fill the bottle and leave it on the bosses desk before she arrived one morning.
Their faces were a picture!
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Can't beat the long
weightwait.0 -
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fish finger sandwich in the gym bag/over night bag0
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We told our office junior to go photocopy some blank A4 paper as we were running out.22
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Recently fell for one of these. Came back from having a smoke to a note on my desk asking me to phone a Mr Scott Chegg.
Unsurprisingly there wasn't a Scott Chegg at the catering supplies company I had been given the number for.12 -
We got a girl on the desk good and proper with the Mr C Lyon one, and then a week later got her again with Mike Oxlongthai malaysia addick said:The old classic - telling a colleague to call back Mr C Lyon and giving the number of London Zoo.
And, of course, other silly names like Ima Pratt....
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Not a work one, but this is eerie, particularly if you've recently watched the Ring
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEnyJxaxTp8 3 -
Was speaking to a money broker on Sunday who said that if the person on the desk wrote out a ticket wrong, they used to make them sit on the window ledge of the offices which were 4 floors up.
You'd never get away with that these days. I bet they never made a mistake after that though.0 -
My grandad used to work at stones and some of the things he told me we were funny.
One day they filled the foreman's pipe with strips of magnesium. He lit it on the tram on the way home and the resultant flash, set light to his paper. An old girl sitting near him fainted.
The toilets didn't have cubicles, just small partitions with a trough running underneath. They used to flush a piece of wood down it with burning paper on top, burning peoples arses as it went along.8 -
I once told Fred Goodwin that a mainly cash bid for ABN Amro and going large into sub prime mortgages in the US would be quite a winner for RBS.
I did have a chuckle when he actually believed me.5 -
That really is a big one Paulie , mental !13
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Two brothers were parking their car in the firms car park. The first brother got out of the car sharpish and hid behind a pillar.
As his sibling approached he leapt out and grabbed him by the sphericals with the cry " gotcha ! "
A very startled and frightened managing director was less pleased!2 -
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But they do go wrong though....
I was a 16 year old print apprentice many many moons ago.
My monday morning job was to clean the mice and rat shite from the type cases and galleys.
I found a dead mouse and decided to pop said mouse into my overseers sandwich with its head out one end and its tail out the other, thinking that he would see it before he took a bite. I didnt know he would be reading the paper as he bit into it.......I got a right hiding for that one....!9 -
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My mate was re pointing a house which entails sitting on the scaffolding with your mortar and trowel for long periods. His colleague had a shat in a bucket and hung the said bucket below my mate and moved the bucket wherever he moved so as the smell followed him around. Charming.2
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It was you was it? Got flushed out 12 months after that in the green purge... Blue bastardsMrOneLung said:I once told Fred Goodwin that a mainly cash bid for ABN Amro and going large into sub prime mortgages in the US would be quite a winner for RBS.
I did have a chuckle when he actually believed me.0 -
Did some work as a labourer for my Dads firm just out of school. Paddy was the drains man, he loved them and lived them, always came to work with a thin film of grime over him, always had his head down a manhole or an arm up a drain run. Us youngsters used to think it quite a jape on hearing him shout up for "no one to flush the bloidy bogs" to rush to be the first person to have a crap and send it on its way. "yoo fookin little wankers!!!"0
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When I was an apprentice in the Merchant Navy we pulled a very cruel trick on a first trip apprentice. We had all gone ashore in Singapore and ended up in Boogie Street that was famous for its "kiy-ties" or transvestites. We were all a little drunk and the first tripper, who didn't know the situation, spied one of these "girls" and kept saying how much he fancied her. So we emptied our pockets of our remaining dollars and sent him on his way.
He wasn't too pleased when we saw him the next morning!0 -
I recently hid Yaya Toure's birthday present.10
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I took redundancy in Jan 07 when my job went out to Singapore, so before the shit hit the fan.soapy_jones said:
It was you was it? Got flushed out 12 months after that in the green purge... Blue bastardsMrOneLung said:I once told Fred Goodwin that a mainly cash bid for ABN Amro and going large into sub prime mortgages in the US would be quite a winner for RBS.
I did have a chuckle when he actually believed me.
Luckily didnt investthe money in RBS shares other than some left over sharesave schemes.0 -
I worked with an ex-sailor who told me a about the time his ship was in Portsmouth harbour and due for an inspection by the top brass. His immediate CO being a bit anal was determined that everything would be sparkling from top to bottom on the ship.
This guy I know was responsible for keeping the bogs clean, so on the pre-inspection inspection, he lobbed a covering of HP Sauce down one of the lavs.
When his CO came along and spotted it, he went mental. 'What the fuck is that down there' he bellowed.
My mate dipped his finger in the HP sauce, licked it, and replied 'Shit, sir'.
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