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The Worlds Best Pub ?

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  • Henry Irving
    Henry Irving Posts: 85,477
    Robbo on the wing said:

    Henry Irving said:

    Nicholas said:

    Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.

    This is the best pub thread not "worst"
    What if they were male strippers?
    Whatever turns you on.
  • Riviera
    Riviera Posts: 8,167
    The best pubs have good ale, the buzz of lively conversation and a friendly Landlord who maintains the first two requirements.
  • LenGlover
    LenGlover Posts: 31,718
    Riviera said:

    The best pubs have good ale, the buzz of lively conversation and a friendly Landlord who maintains the first two requirements.

    There's a good pub in Westmount Road Eltham called the Long Pond which has the first two requirements :wink:
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    edited August 2015
    Nicholas said:

    Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.

    That was going well until you mentioned chicken wings.
  • ricky_otto
    ricky_otto Posts: 22,600
    Nicholas said:

    Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is bingo wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.

  • Leuth
    Leuth Posts: 23,497
    I'll do one then

    Bar billiards (maybe even two tables at opposite ends of the bar)
    Lots of really wacky bottled Belgian beers in amongst yer standards
    Very poorly lit
    Weird staircases where you wouldn't expect them, creating strange and poorly-navigable floorspace
    Some tables have chairs, some have benches, some have weird frayed stools that are the wrong shape
    All the art on the wall is slightly threatening
    Dogs wandering around
    Cats wandering around
    Very quiet music played through what appears to be a slightly detuned longwave radio
    Food hand-made in a tiny kitchenette by a local who wants to be a chef. There are two options: meat and vegetarian. It costs £7.50 a pop.
    A bookshelf full of extremely old and obscure handbooks, manuals, novelties and romance fiction
    Board games that nobody has heard of and would take far too long to play; also chess and Scrabble
    Quite dirty
    No outside bit except maybe a courtyard for smokers. No tables there.
    The owner(s) sitting at a table near the front, permanently plastered
    A small weekly quiz based around lateral-thinking exercises. The prize is a rare beer apiece
    Snuffbox on every table (usually untouched)
    Permanently unplugged TV

    Called "The Dauntless Robin"
  • JiMMy 85
    JiMMy 85 Posts: 10,219
    Ketman said:

    15/ Decent Quality Sound System (Not Bass Heavy they sound Shite)
    16/ Discrete High Spec small DJ Booth in Corner (Live DJ's Create a better Atmostphere)
    17/ Bouncers on Door with Common Sense

    This guy needs to be head doorman.

  • A-R-T-H-U-R
    A-R-T-H-U-R Posts: 7,678
    A big friendly dog that, when it wants to, will catch beer mats flung by customers.
    A year long open wood fire.
  • cafcdave123
    cafcdave123 Posts: 11,491
    ricky_otto said:

    Nicholas said:

    Dartboard. Fruit machines. Pool tables. Strippers. Only food they can sell is chicken wings. Big screens in door and out showing footy and horse racing.

    That was going well until you mentioned chicken wings.
    He just wants a menu that when you open it it says

    AINT NO THING BUT A CHICKEN WING
  • DA9
    DA9 Posts: 11,109
    Was in Bradley's Spanish bar at Tottenham Court Road on Friday night, good atmosphere and superb juke box with lots of R&R & Motown

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  • DaveMehmet
    DaveMehmet Posts: 21,742
    ValleyGary said:

    No beer snobs.

    I go to the pub to drink what I want, not so some bell end can turn his nose up at me when I order a Fosters.

    Fosters? How very Bexleyheath line.
  • AFKABartram
    AFKABartram Posts: 58,143
    Won't qualify as worlds best pub, but the Turnpike in Welling has been on fire this morning
  • Elthamaddick
    Elthamaddick Posts: 15,958
    The Ship Inn - in Porthleven harbour in Cornwall...if anyone ever visits

    Fantastic proper pub
  • Leuth
    Leuth Posts: 23,497
    You-know-who has done one as well:

    Milk on tap for the hundreds of cats (mostly stray) which frequent the pub
    Wall-mounted tables reached by ladders and pulleys
    A staff which includes resident artists, poets and three fortune-tellers
    A basement cinema screening Stan Brakhage and Maya Deren films perpetually
    Sixteen jukeboxes all next to each other
    The Death Room
    Cryptic paper-trails launched weekly
    Only illuminated by aquariums
    A whole corner devoted to art therapy
    Pressure pads which, when activated, rain sweets from the ceiling
    The colour palette is plum and putrid green
    The only drink is absinthe and sugar
    Any meat brought into the pub will be ritually incinerated and the culprit painted upon the Wall Of Shame in a Schiele-esque rictus
    Mist rising from floor
    Daily pub quiz centred around the Duino Elegies by Rilke
    Life-size automaton of David Foster Wallace reading out his works
    The jukeboxes can only play prog
  • Leuth
    Leuth Posts: 23,497
    Called "The Abject Mother"

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