Long Distance Relationships
Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!
I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
Comments
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I assume you live in North or South America or in the Asia Pacific region. Because Birmingham isn't a long distance. Sadly.3
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Compared to 5 minutes from my house, it is.Chizz said:I assume you live in North or South America or in the Asia Pacific region. Because Birmingham isn't a long distance. Sadly.
Thanks though.36 -
It is possible, me and my better half went through it.
Think of it this way:
You get more weekends with the lads. The ones she isn't massively busy you could go and visit her.
She will also come home from time to time (outside of term etc).
If you're meant to be it'll all work out.5 -
Girlfriend moved to Cambridge for a year whilst I stayed in London, isn't a huge distance, but it's tough. Make sure you talk often, facetime or Skype so you can see eachother, and visit eachother once a fortnight/once a month depending on schedules. Oh and we took a week off every 3/4 months and spent that week together, so it's not too bad. Just make sure you have a strong family and friend circle you can go out with etc and they have the same (students don't have this problem really) so you aren't bored as hell.
Oh and don't give in to temptation, no matter how far away they are, they're just a train journey away if you really can't wait to smash it10 -
Birmingham is an hour by train. I know someone who commutes both ways 3-4 times a week from Sidcup.
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Thought it was going to be about a hairdresser in Blackpool.38
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If you've lived in the same house/2 mins away in your relationship, Birmingham will feel like the other side of the worldClem_Snide said:Birmingham is an hour by train. I know someone who commutes both ways 3-4 times a week from Sidcup.
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Clem_Snide said:
Birmingham is an hour by train. I know someone who commutes both ways 3-4 times a week from Sidcup.
they need a new job then!2 -
Yeah, I know it's not like she's gone to live on Mars but when you're not used to it it's still not exactly "okay, I'll be round in a sec" close.
Appreciate advice though guys.3 -
At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.Addickted2TheReds said:It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.
Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!
I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.
My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations1 -
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Of course it possible, no time at all on the train and if either of you drive, that's easy as well.Addickted2TheReds said:It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.
Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!
I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
I wish my Mrs would piss off to Birmingham.
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Yes, fair dos. It may well do.All_Thaid_Up said:
At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.Addickted2TheReds said:It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.
Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!
I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.
My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations
Yeah, I'm not pushy or anything and get that she will be having the time of her life. Trust me, sometimes I wish we could go a day or two without speaking :-)
Wow, ouch!2 -
Ditch her, let her experience Uni life in all its glory17
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I had a long distance relationship when my then girlfriend moved to Japan for a year. The relationship survived but then she decided to stay another year. Then it didn't.
My experience and of people I know who also had long distance relationships is that they don't survive. Despite improving comms technology today like Skype etc. you can't replace the need for close contact.
Also if she is off to uni, there is a chance she will be having a great time meeting lots of new friends in a new part of the country for her and whether people admit it or not, this does also have a huge impact. Maybe not the first few weeks or months but over time it changes. I remember going out with a girl in my first term up in Edinburgh and found out she had a boyfriend back in her home town of Cheltenham.
Sorry to be on the negative side but I have seen it from both angles and, well you wanted some advice.
On the plus side, Brum isn't too far away (well it's not Japan) and you could keep visiting quite easily.
Good luck anyway.1 -
I did.AFKABartram said:Ditch her, let her experience Uni life in all its glory
Ended in anticipation of Uni on good terms.
It lasted 3 weeks then we couldn't do it and have decided to give it a go...2 -
Cheers mate.GreenWithEnvy said:I had a long distance relationship when my then girlfriend moved to Japan for a year. The relationship survived but then she decided to stay another year. Then it didn't.
My experience and of people I know who also had long distance relationships is that they don't survive. Despite improving comms technology today like Skype etc. you can't replace the need for close contact.
Also if she is off to uni, there is a chance she will be having a great time meeting lots of new friends in a new part of the country for her and whether people admit it or not, this does also have a huge impact. Maybe not the first few weeks or months but over time it changes. I remember going out with a girl in my first term up in Edinburgh and found out she had a boyfriend back in her home town of Cheltenham.
Sorry to be on the negative side but I have seen it from both angles and, well you wanted some advice.
On the plus side, Brum isn't too far away (well it's not Japan) and you could keep visiting quite easily.
Good luck anyway.0 -
Stayed with my girlfriend at the time, while i went uni in The States and she was in Southampton. It was hard and probably would have been better for both of us if we were single, as uni life is too be enjoyed to the maximum. Especially when a year after i came back we split up!0
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After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )1
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It's a potential situation that may occur if you're not meant to be, it is not a fact that it will happen.All_Thaid_Up said:Addickted2TheReds said:It's highly likely that my Girlfriend will get into Uni so in September or so she will be off to study in Birmingham.
Has anybody been part of/is part of a long distance relationship? What are your experiences? Is it possible?!
I suppose it isn't so bad as it's not like she will never be back at home... but still?!
At your age be realistic, its likely to fizzle out once she gets into the swing of things at Uni - this is not a dig, just a fact of life.
I can assure you long terms relationships are hard and making time to chat is not always easy, you have to accept this and not get to wound up if your partner cant speak to you everyday.
My wife is in the UK with my son and I am in Dubai so I do understand the frustrations
Thai's other advice is good though. It is sometimes hard to fit time in to catch up, so make the most of the time you can.0 -
I think there is a difference between meeting someone who lives a fair way away, and someone you are with, moving away.
Having being used to seeing someone all the time, can see that being a lot more difficult.0 -
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Hahaha.Henry Irving said:After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )
I was right last time, she was stringing me along and using a heart condition to do it. Very unique. However, Henry Irving in getting it wrong shocker. : - )1 -
I had a long(ish) term girlfriend when I went to Uni. It didn't work out but that was mainly because we weren't prepared for one thing - people change (plus I was a dick, but let's not focus on that).
She's going to go through a major personal development phase, don't expect her to be exactly the same person that she is today in six months or a years time. I'm not saying she's going to become a completely different person but people grow, they have to and and there's a good chance you'll still love who she is, but be prepared for that so it doesn't shock you.
Oh, and whatever you do, definitely don't break up with her before Freshers week !6 -
Been with girlfriend for 3 and a half years. 3 of those she's been living in Herefordshire. Just sorting out a job in London and we're going to move in together end of the summer. Been absolutely fine the past 3 years, been rock solid even though she went travelling for 6 months in that time. But I'm shitting it about moving in together, im a messy twat and she's pretty clean... Just hoping we'll survive the first six months seeing each other every day! Even though I do think it will be epic to finally move in with my best friend.
Uni is difficult because there's gonna be a lot of new experiences (hurr hurr) available to her and I don't know of too many relationships that survived it. But is it possible? Of course it is!5 -
Every single person who came to Uni in a long distance relationship broke up with their respective partners, including me
Sorry3 -
I often suggest a long term relationship to my wife, she still won't fuck off though!14
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That's your version of events, she tells me a different tale. ; - )Addickted2TheReds said:
Hahaha.Henry Irving said:After last time I'm avoiding any comments on your relationship, mate ; - )
I was right last time, she was stringing me along and using a heart condition to do it. Very unique. However, Henry Irving in getting it wrong shocker. : - )1 -
I took time off work every now and then to stay with the other half when she was at uni, usually if she asked me to or said she was missing me or family alot.se9addick said:I had a long(ish) term girlfriend when I went to Uni. It didn't work out but that was mainly because we weren't prepared for one thing - people change (plus I was a dick, but let's not focus on that).
She's going to go through a major personal development phase, don't expect her to be exactly the same person that she is today in six months or a years time. I'm not saying she's going to become a completely different person but people grow, they have to and and there's a good chance you'll still love who she is, but be prepared for that so it doesn't shock you.
Oh, and whatever you do, definitely don't break up with her before Freshers week!
The laptop, ps3 and a few other bits came with me to pass time whilst she was in lectures etc, then as soon as her day was done I'd meet up with her and her friends (get on well with them and it improves chances of survival) we'd go out to dinner or drinking etc.
Remember she'll be dividing time between you, her family and uni. Make some of the time with her family and you mixed and it makes life easier.
Me and my other half are something of an anomoly these days having been together from a young age. As I said before it will be tough but if you're meant for each other you'll make it work.
Freshers week I was there at her request, I enjoyed it with her, so much booze, so many laughs and so many memories. I can guarantee that is where many are led astray.
If she's in halls as opposed to rented accommodation you may find it harder to visit her.
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The other issue is that I work in the ski industry and can't take time off work between October and March which makes things trickier.
I suppose the flip side of that is that in the summer when she gets back I can take all my 28 days in one go if I so wish.1 -
It won't be so much the long distance that will be the problem - but, just as many have said, she will get into a completely different life style and meet lots of new people and have new experiences. Many relationships fail at this time understandably. I guess it will depend on how close you are now.
However it can work -I did it ( I was the one that went away), and have been happily married to the same girl for 22 years, although I was the only one on my course who didnt split up with the person they were with before university. Give it a go - you wont know unless you try.3 -
You can guarantee when do get up there for your first weekend together she'll have her periods.22
