Are we being Americanised?

cafcfan said:

MillwallFan said:

eaststandmike said:

Off_it said:

And what's with all the coffee shops everywhere?

What s wrong with blokes meeting in pubs and women meeting in, I dunno, shoe shops or somewhere.

The coffee shops are more American than European. I cringe when I see people here sitting behind a "bucket" of hot milk & coffee with all sorts of shite in it and on top of it. Some of the large cups/mugs in Starbucks have two handles to carry them.

Nothing wrong with a drop of hot milk with your coffee. But agree, in huge buckets, with all sorts of syrups and squirty shit in it, that's a no no to any coffee connoisseur

Milky drinks are for breakfast, and kiddy-winks. Espresso only after 11:00am. (You can have an Americano if you are feeling a little feeble.)
Otherwise you might just as well have a strawberry Nesquik.

Double ristretto with an equal amount of warm milk, anytime of the day. Give that to your kids and they'll be bouncing off the walls.
Or a cortado for a slightly longer drink. As I say, nothing wrong with a SMALL amount of warm milk with your coffee. Takes the acidity out of it and gives a true reflection of the flavour.

I'm told the Queen is sorting this out:

A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)
Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which she does not fancy).
Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.
To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:


1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
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2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
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3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
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4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
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5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
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6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
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7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
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8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
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9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
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10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
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11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
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12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
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13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
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14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
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15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.
God Save the Queen!

happyvalley said:

Sounds fair to me.

Just don't start saying "Comfortable win, 4 zero"

Vote out

Rob said:

All the sports channels over here referred to Messi's goal vs. the US in Copa America as from a 'penalty kick'. They said this as the clip was being shown. Cringe worthy.

Was it a free kick?

Haven't seen it

"out back", no "out THE back"!

I noticed when I was in the US how little they used the word "please". In a Subway (other fast food outlets are available) people would say things like " Can I get a 6-inch with chicken and salad, hold the mayo?". I found it very difficult to train myself not to say "please" when it came to my turn (in an effort to fit in), indeed I found myself saying it more!

It's a ridiculous thing to say we are being "Americanised".

And here's a picture of my hat to prove it.......

Saga Lout said:

Nice kitchen worktop - granite?

Thank you. No it's not granite. It's a product called Silestone, which I believe is Spanish. It's a compound which is 94% quartz. It's supposed to be more durable than granite or marble. I'm guessing this claim can be made primarily because granite and marble are porous and require regular re-sealing to prevent staining and bacterial growth whereas quartz is an impervious substance . Silestone is "fit and forget". It also claims to have an anti-bacterial property.

Siv_in_Norfolk said:

Rob said:

All the sports channels over here referred to Messi's goal vs. the US in Copa America as from a 'penalty kick'. They said this as the clip was being shown. Cringe worthy.

Was it a free kick?

Haven't seen it

yep. About 15 yards outside the box.

cherryorchard said:

Went to garden centre last week to buy spare for Hozelock Watering system. The (English) Assistant had never heard of the brand and when he found it on his computer asked me 'has it got a zee'? I was tempted to reply 'what's a zee'?, but instead answered - ' no with a z'.

It's people like you who make those who work in retail's lives just lovely.

When morons say 'I could care less' I'm left wanting to smash their face in.

Algarveaddick said:

Trick or Treat, Sneakers, Snickers, prom night, semester... FUCK OFF!!!!!!!!!

Try living over here, the place is crawling with 'em.

1StevieG said:

SDAddick said:

cherryorchard said:

Went to garden centre last week to buy spare for Hozelock Watering system. The (English) Assistant had never heard of the brand and when he found it on his computer asked me 'has it got a zee'? I was tempted to reply 'what's a zee'?, but instead answered - ' no with a z'.

It's people like you who make those who work in retail's lives just lovely.

Zeds dead baby, Zeds dead.....

I blame Sesame Street

DanDavis said:

5 years of living in the states and its starting to take hold.

Earlier today I pronounced the word 'Status' Stat-us rather than state-us.

I'm sorry.

Wail 'til you've been here forty years, hope's all gone.