The sexual innuendo thread.
Comments
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SheffieldRed said:Perhaps this thread should be made members only1
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I've been learning the violin for two years now and I'm getting good at it. So, if anybody wants to fiddle with me, send me a text.
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SheffieldRed said:Perhaps this thread should be made members only1
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LenGlover said:SheffieldRed said:Perhaps this thread should be made members only2
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thai malaysia addick said:SoundAsa£ said:thai malaysia addick said:I used to work with a lady in Malaysia who regularly said to me, "Can I have a quick one?" She meant in case you are wondering, a quick chat. I could never bring myself to explain to her the innuendo.0
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This thread reads like Milton's Paradise Lost0
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I think we need to go back to the innocence of children's TV after reading this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CgbcQIT7BMc
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Geoffrey ain't watching the world cup, that's for sure0
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The Prince-e-Paul said:LenGlover said:SheffieldRed said:Perhaps this thread should be made members only
Why don't you just say what you mean ?
Stop Fannying around & give it to me straight up !2 -
LennyLowrent said:This thread reads like Milton's Paradise Lost1
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Arsenetatters said:LennyLowrent said:This thread reads like Milton's Paradise Lost0
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Back in the day
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On a scale of one to two, I’d give her one!3
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It passed me by in my pre teen days but that advert for the fabulous Battling Tops game. "What's your secret champ?"
" It's all in the wrist action". Then demonstrated the wrist movement.3 -
The only downside to working at the sperm bank was I had to work a week in hand.4
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Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: they’re the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips.
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Could do with a contribution from Julian and Sandy on this thread.
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I expected this to be much bigger0
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thai malaysia addick said:Get a load of this. This is what I have stored in my archive...
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! **My Favourite**
US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"2 -
From the commentary v Mexico today:
…. another Messi moment3 - Sponsored links:
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Think that's called hard sports.0
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AddicksAddict said:thai malaysia addick said:Get a load of this. This is what I have stored in my archive...
MICHAEL Buerk watching Phillipa Forrester cuddle up to a male astronomer for warmth during BBC1's UK eclipse coverage remarked: "They seem cold out there, they're rubbing each other and he's only come in his shorts."
Ken Brown commentating on golfer Nick Faldo and his caddie Fanny Sunneson lining-up shots at the Scottish Open: "Some weeks Nick likes to use Fanny, other weeks he prefers to do it by himself."
MIKE Hallett discussing missed snooker shots on Sky Sports: "Stephen Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets."
WINNING Post's Stewart Machin commentating on jockey Tony McCoy's formidable lead: "Tony has a quick look between his legs and likes what he sees."
ROSS King discussing relays with champion runner Phil Redmond: "Well Phil, tell us about your amazing third leg."
CLAIR Frisby talking about a jumbo hot dog on Look North said: "There's nothing like a big hot sausage inside you on a cold night like this."
JAMES Allen interviewing Ralf Schumacher at a Grand Prix, asked: "What does it feel like being rammed up the backside by Barrichello?"
STEVE Ryder covering the US Masters: "Ballesteros felt much better today after a 69."
A female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked, "So Bob, where's that eight inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too, because they were laughing so hard! **My Favourite**
US PGA Commentator - "One of the reasons Arnie (Arnold Palmer) is playing so well is that, before each tee shot, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them.... Oh my god!!!!! What have I just said?!!!!"
Metro Radio - "Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field."
Harry Carpenter at the Oxford-Cambridge boat race 1977 - "Ah, isn't that nice. The wife of the Cambridge President is kissing the Cox of the Oxford crew."
Ted Walsh- Horse Racing Commentator - "This is really a lovely horse. I once rode her mother."
New Zealand Rugby Commentator - "Andrew Mehrtens loves it when Daryl Gibson comes inside of him."
Pat Glenn- Weightlifting commentator - "And this is Gregoriava from Bulgaria. I saw her snatch this morning and it was amazing!"7 -
This morning i tossed off my bed covers and stood proud by the bed looking down my passage as the sun gently stroked and played with the poofie in the living room which came to me from an old family friend who used to take me up the Valley...
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Felt a bit down yesterday while I was in London and thought about going up the Shard to toss myself off.I talked myself out of it and went home and did it instead.4
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Whilst in Hong Kong I took a female work colleague up The Peak and up the Big Buddha on consecutive days …..5
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I see Gareth Bale got pulled off at half time.4
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eaststandmike said:I see Gareth Bale got pulled off at half time.2
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eaststandmike said:I see Gareth Bale got pulled off at half time.
Bargain. Much better than half an orange.
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With half an orange you can peel back the skin and suck out the juice.3