Hippos can outrun humans on land and in water. So if you’re in a triathlon against a hippo you really need to take advantage of the cycling section of the race.
I also tried golf the once, wasn't impressed. I was just hanging around waiting ages for the bloke on the first tee to finish pfaffing around, so I gave up and went home. Wasted all my money buying an Audi, Pringle sweaters, and golf clubs for nothing!
Bloke walks into a cafe theres a sign on the wall that says "we can make any sandwich or we'll give you £1000"
he walks up to the counter and says " is that right a bag of sand if you cant make the sandwich of my choice"
Yes Sir the owner says
The bloke says right ill have an elephants head sandwich please
The owner say yes sir take seat well be right back.
The owner goes out the back and the bloke sits at a table
Theres a load of trumpeting noises coming from the back theres crashing banging and one of the assistants comes running through covered in blood followed a few minutes later by another two carrying stretcher with another bloke on it. The noises are getting louder as the elephants put up a massive fight This goes on for a about 30 minutes after which theres a loud BANG!!! The noises stop and theres a sigh of relief from the assistants as the elephant meets his maker.
After another 20 minutes the owner comes out battered and covered in blood
He walks up to the bloke and says Here you go heres your grand three of my assistants are in hospital ones dead and sos the elephant so there you go.
The bloke says i knew you couldnt make an elephants head sandwich he picks up his money and walks towards the door he stops and looks at the owners and says incidently what went wrong?
Comments
I still haven't found what I'm looking for.
Fiancee
Do you, Linda, take Barry the Optician to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better. or worse?
"It's not a word I recognise. Is it Hungarian for Eye Test"?
Funny. Tasteless, but funny.
Maybe I should have watched Nosfera-One first
so I put 999
He always replies 'a pringle jumper and a pair of plus fours'.
he walks up to the counter and says " is that right a bag of sand if you cant make the sandwich of my choice"
Yes Sir the owner says
The bloke says right ill have an elephants head sandwich please
The owner say yes sir take seat well be right back.
The owner goes out the back and the bloke sits at a table
Theres a load of trumpeting noises coming from the back theres crashing banging and one of the assistants comes running through covered in blood followed a few minutes later by another two carrying stretcher with another bloke on it.
The noises are getting louder as the elephants put up a massive fight
This goes on for a about 30 minutes after which theres a loud BANG!!!
The noises stop and theres a sigh of relief from the assistants as the elephant meets his maker.
After another 20 minutes the owner comes out battered and covered in blood
He walks up to the bloke and says Here you go heres your grand three of my assistants are in hospital ones dead and sos the elephant so there you go.
The bloke says i knew you couldnt make an elephants head sandwich he picks up his money and walks towards the door he stops and looks at the owners and says incidently what went wrong?
The owner looks up and says we run out of bread.
I said, "Don't you mean a clothes shop?"
He said, "No, a crows shop, come and take a rook."
Do Arsenal tend to win stuff? Yep. Do I expect Charlton to win the FA Cup? Nope.
Just a gentle leg pull, nothing more.