Anyone jumping traffic queues by cutting in at the last minute have to pull over and wait for an hour before proceeding. This is in addition to 3 points on their license.
Anyone who plays mobile phones out loud on public transport to have the phone inserted up their arse.
When I was a lot younger I was at a pub with mates and a wannabe rapper - Abide - (who grew up in a 6 bedroom mansion in Surrey) was on the table next to us and kept playing his ‘rap’ demo on his phone over and over again.
The bar manager came over and said if you do it again I’ll eat your sim card.
He did it again, the manager comes over, takes out his SIM card and swallows it whole. He gave it back to him 3 days later in a freezer bag.
Compulsory euthanasia at 80 this is a no brainer with people having healthier lifestyles and living longer
1 - frees up hospital beds 2 - frees up housing stock 3 - reduces NHS costs in free prescriptions 4 - you can retire knowing exactly how long your pension pot has to last you. No scrimping and saving, only for you to die with another 10 years worth of funds available to you 5 - earlier retirement when you are actually fit enough to enjoy your hobbies 6 - nothing of note has ever been invented by someone over 80 years old 7 - gives a chance for all your loved ones to say goodbye, knowing when the end is likely to be.
In fact, there is zero downside to this, so probably not actually an unhinged rule.....
The correct punishment for supporting either Crystal Palace or Millwall should be to watch your team get relegated every single season until the end of time or until they drop out of the pyramid altogether, whichever is quicker.
People walking down busy streets like Bishopsgate reading their phones not looking where they're going expecting everyone else to move so they can read their urgent Instagram posts would be sterilised.
The same goes for those in identical situation as above but reading books. Walking along rush hour Bishopsgate reading a book. Sterilisation for them too but without anaesthetic for these particular ****s.
Replace “God Save The King” with “Valley Floyd Road”. To be sung every day in schools and before all professional football matches. Anyone singing alternative versions, including Mull Of Kintyre to be banned from attending matches until they’ve attended at least one match at The Valley.
Any driver that doesn’t say thanks when you let them in or drives in the middle or fast lane unnecessarily should have their licence removed forever and be made to look after a goat for a week
I'm disappointed by the lack of deference the smaller members of our society show to their taller betters. I think it would be great to introduce a law where everyone has to bow to taller people when they interact with them or just when they pass them in the street. Happy to share the littering stocks for punishing the little buggers.
Comments
The bar manager came over and said if you do it again I’ll eat your sim card.
He did it again, the manager comes over, takes out his SIM card and swallows it whole. He gave it back to him 3 days later in a freezer bag.
this is a no brainer with people having healthier lifestyles and living longer
1 - frees up hospital beds
2 - frees up housing stock
3 - reduces NHS costs in free prescriptions
4 - you can retire knowing exactly how long your pension pot has to last you. No scrimping and saving, only for you to die with another 10 years worth of funds available to you
5 - earlier retirement when you are actually fit enough to enjoy your hobbies
6 - nothing of note has ever been invented by someone over 80 years old
7 - gives a chance for all your loved ones to say goodbye, knowing when the end is likely to be.
In fact, there is zero downside to this, so probably not actually an unhinged rule.....
Other than in Belfast, where M-ways and major roads converge, Northern Ireland's motorways are two lanes in each direction.
The same goes for those in identical situation as above but reading books. Walking along rush hour Bishopsgate reading a book. Sterilisation for them too but without anaesthetic for these particular ****s.
I just want to see what happens.