Joggers who think they have right of way in public places should be forced to run a 5k barefoot, over broken glass and molten tarmac. And then punched in the face 10,000 times.
Anyone wearing socks with sandal slider things has a toe cut off with a blunt junior hacksaw. This is repeated every time they are caught and repeat offenders will end up with stumps
When I come to power a record will be kept of everyone who pisses me off over the course of a year. At the end of the year they will be entered into a hunger games type fight to the death. The prize for the winner is that I take all their personal belongings and give them to charity.
Those who do not hold the door open for others when they are at a reasonable distance gets a door smashed over their head at a random time within 24 hours of the crime taking place
so if you shut the door on someone walking into the office at 0900, you could be smashed over the head at 3am the next morning
Those who do not hold the door open for others when they are at a reasonable distance gets a door smashed over their head at a random time within 24 hours of the crime taking place
Mate... I've almost stopped doing it. Nobody says thank you anymore.
Those who do not hold the door open for others when they are at a reasonable distance gets a door smashed over their head at a random time within 24 hours of the crime taking place
Mate... I've almost stopped doing it. Nobody says thank you anymore.
Those who don't say thank you get the random door drop instead
People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
But the punishment would be to insert an oversized catheter in the offender and dangle them from a height by the same until they have seen every Christmas episode of eastenders...if they fall they fall
People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
Likewise, people who talk about their dogs or cats as if they're real people.
People claiming Curbs was hounded out of Charlton by fans demanding more than mid table PL football are booed and subjected to verbal abuse at their place of work for a month.
Players who quite clearly smash the ball out for a throw but then put their arm in the air appealing to be shot by a sniper on the roof of the stadium.
People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
Likewise, people who talk about their dogs or cats as if they're real people.
Do you mean their fur babies? Oops another hanging offence.
Players who quite clearly smash the ball out for a throw but then put their arm in the air appealing to be shot by a sniper on the roof of the stadium.
We’d lose Josh Edward’s for most of the season, unless Charlton players are exempt of course? 👍😉
Automatic sterilisation for anyone who's been on Jeremy Kyle (or a show of that ilk)...
Think it's too late by then, they would already have numerous kids by numerous fathers (absent), that's their story of victimhood.
I'd extend it to sterilising the kids of anyone who's been on Jeremy Kyle or similar but in reality that's also too late, you'd probably have to extend it to the grandkids as well
People who make their children their whole personality should have their bodies removed, and their heads sown on to cabbage patch dolls. This will allow all normal people to avoid you and you can live with grotty kids for the rest of your life. All other organs can be used for donors.
Likewise, people who talk about their dogs or cats as if they're real people.
I was only saying that this very morning, to Valli and Bowyer! 😉
Comments
Gobshite kids on the internet pointing fingers in a make believe gunshots.
so if you shut the door on someone walking into the office at 0900, you could be smashed over the head at 3am the next morning
Problem solved!
Ban women drivers, although that one is pretty sensible.
It's halfway there anyway, stop pissing about.
But the punishment would be to insert an oversized catheter in the offender and dangle them from a height by the same until they have seen every Christmas episode of eastenders...if they fall they fall
Will be made to drink nothing but water directly from The Thames for a week